What Is There to Look Forward to in Life "After You Reach a Certain Age"?

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#21
May 23, 2009
16,499
5,429
113
#21
Cameron143 said:
I wasn't trying to dissuade you from writing or calling your friend. I was merely offering another perspective. You know better than I how God is leading you.
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You definitely made me think when you mentioned that Job's friends actually sinned when they started talking.

I'm sure the Holy Spirit had tucked that in the back of my mind and will remind me of it in future situations!

Thank you for sharing this word of wisdom. :)
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#22
Mar 18, 2021
5,354
3,156
113
#22
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

My childhood best friend and I were talking about this a long time ago. She's the only person (besides my family) who has pretty much known me all my life. We met in kindergarten when we were 5 years old and still talk to this day.

One afternoon, we were talking about all the major milestones we've seen each other through while growing up:

* Catechism and our First Communion (a very big milestone in the Lutheran church.)
* Starting high school, which was a very big deal because we went to the same Lutheran school kindergarten through 8th grade -- high school was the first time we were "split up," and going to different schools.
* Driver's ed (back when it was free,) turning 16, getting our licenses and being able to drive by ourselves.
* Turning 21, even though neither of us are drinkers.
* Graduating high school and college.
* First jobs, both as teens, and then out of college.
* First time living on our own, finding apartments and houses.
* First dates, and, "Is this 'The One'"?!
* Getting married (and for me, she was there for me when my husband divorced me for his girlfriend.)
* For her, the births of her children and now watching their milestones as they grow.

Though she has several more milestones to go with her kids, we talked about the fact that everything seems to matter when we're young. We found ourselves asking the question, "What is there left to look forward to -- collecting Social Security?"

How would you answer this question?

* For those of us past the age of major milestones, or don't have kids, or have kids who are having milestones of their own, what's left to look forward to in life?

* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting? Retirement? Traveling with your spouse?

* For those who don't have a spouse, what kinds of things do you plan to do on your own?

* What keeps life interesting, and how do you continue to follow God's purpose for your life in later years?

Like most people, I find myself fighting to feel like there is relevant meaning in my life as I get older. I've found this especially challenging since I have no family of my own.

I know that a lot of people will say to volunteer, serve others, take the time to get closer to God, etc., but what do you find yourself turning to when you've done those things and still find yourself running on empty?
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I'm 73. My wife and I moved to a retirement village recently. The people are friendly (I know a few from decades ago), there is an active church here (5 minutes walk) any many facilities such as a gym, outdoor bowling and a woodworking shop. There is an onsite doctor's surgery, hairdresser and cafe. It's pretty much self contained.

We are busy enough. We do day trips as my wife is a little frail and long trips in the car are hard on her. It's amazing how the day fills up. I wonder how I found the time to go to work!
 
B

Burn1986

Active member
#23
Mar 4, 2024
918
212
43
#23
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

My childhood best friend and I were talking about this a long time ago. She's the only person (besides my family) who has pretty much known me all my life. We met in kindergarten when we were 5 years old and still talk to this day.

One afternoon, we were talking about all the major milestones we've seen each other through while growing up:

* Catechism and our First Communion (a very big milestone in the Lutheran church.)
* Starting high school, which was a very big deal because we went to the same Lutheran school kindergarten through 8th grade -- high school was the first time we were "split up," and going to different schools.
* Driver's ed (back when it was free,) turning 16, getting our licenses and being able to drive by ourselves.
* Turning 21, even though neither of us are drinkers.
* Graduating high school and college.
* First jobs, both as teens, and then out of college.
* First time living on our own, finding apartments and houses.
* First dates, and, "Is this 'The One'"?!
* Getting married (and for me, she was there for me when my husband divorced me for his girlfriend.)
* For her, the births of her children and now watching their milestones as they grow.

Though she has several more milestones to go with her kids, we talked about the fact that everything seems to matter when we're young. We found ourselves asking the question, "What is there left to look forward to -- collecting Social Security?"

How would you answer this question?

* For those of us past the age of major milestones, or don't have kids, or have kids who are having milestones of their own, what's left to look forward to in life?

* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting? Retirement? Traveling with your spouse?

* For those who don't have a spouse, what kinds of things do you plan to do on your own?

* What keeps life interesting, and how do you continue to follow God's purpose for your life in later years?

Like most people, I find myself fighting to feel like there is relevant meaning in my life as I get older. I've found this especially challenging since I have no family of my own.

I know that a lot of people will say to volunteer, serve others, take the time to get closer to God, etc., but what do you find yourself turning to when you've done those things and still find yourself running on empty?
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Obviously have never received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#24
May 23, 2009
16,499
5,429
113
#24
Burn1986 said:
Obviously have never received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
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There seems to be a big debate about what that is as well.

I've been baptized both with water (both sprinkled as a baby in the Lutheran church) and full submersion (in the Pentecostal church) because I wanted to be sure I had my bases covered.

I've also been "baptized with the Holy Spirit" -- I speak in tongues when I feel moved to during my own personal prayers, not in public -- unless you are referring to something else.

Which I know is a whole other debate, but yes, I believe I've received every baptism there is.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#25
May 23, 2009
16,499
5,429
113
#25
Burn1986 said:
Obviously have never received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Click to expand...

You may or may not have also read that the main inspiration for this thread is a devout Christian family friend who has lost both their spouse and then recently suffered the shocking loss of a grown child.

It was one of those situations in which someone goes to the doctor for a regular appointment and they say, "By the way, you have X" -- and the next thing you know, the hospital is setting up a treatment schedule -- but God suddenly calls them home before anything can be done.

My friend is obviously feeling left behind and wondering why God does not take them along with the other members of the family.

Part of why I wrote this thread is because I am looking for possible words of comfort and wisdom from the members here to be shared when I write back to this person.
 
B

Burn1986

Active member
#26
Mar 4, 2024
918
212
43
#26
seoulsearch said:
You may or may not have also read that the main inspiration for this thread is a devout Christian family friend who has lost both their spouse and then recently suffered the shocking loss of a grown child.

It was one of those situations in which someone goes to the doctor for a regular appointment and they say, "By the way, you have X" -- and the next thing you know, the hospital is setting up a treatment schedule -- but God suddenly calls them home before anything can be done.

My friend is obviously feeling left behind and wondering why God does not take them along with the other members of the family.

Part of why I wrote this thread is because I am looking for possible words of comfort and wisdom from the members here to be shared when I write back to this person.
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Yikes, I scrolled and didn’t read that. My bad. I’m very sorry for the loss and my foolish answer :(
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#27
Mar 8, 2022
1,090
736
113
#27
NightTwister said:
Travel. Lots and lots of travel. I've been to 43 states, 30 countries, and 5 continents. Would love to get that to 50, 100 and 6.
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Curious, why are you looking forward to travel?
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#28
Mar 8, 2022
1,090
736
113
#28
seoulsearch said:
How would you answer this question?

* For those of us past the age of major milestones, or don't have kids, or have kids who are having milestones of their own, what's left to look forward to in life?

* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting? Retirement? Traveling with your spouse?

* For those who don't have a spouse, what kinds of things do you plan to do on your own?

* What keeps life interesting, and how do you continue to follow God's purpose for your life in later years?
Click to expand...
I am not really planning too far into the future. I still have a lot of working years left so I just plan to continue working until I retire. This alone fills up the day. Most of the time, I do look forward to getting up for work and my work assignments. On the work front, I do look forward to tomorrow generally. After I retire, I plan to find a substitute for work (less hours, of course) where I find some meaning which will fill up part of the day.

My last milestone which I took seriously was to graduate from college/find a job/be self-sufficient, which was years ago. This milestone is more within my control, whereas many others are not.

Post-retirement, if I continue to be single, I plan to find a substitute for work which is meaningful, be involved in church, have animals, pursue some hobbies/interests, maintain my friendships and make new friends. My goal would be to plan for the future but find joy in the day. I do have periods sometimes where fear overwhelms me about the future, so I think not focusing too far into the future helps.

We all know our big purpose. For this, I believe as long as we live Christ-like lives (which really isn't complicated at all but difficult), we will have great impact on those around us which may even cause some to consider Jesus. That is the minimum we should aim for as Christians, and ideally we should do more. I have basically decided to stop fretting about God's specific purpose for me. God knows our purpose, but maybe we don't know/recognize it. I have asked God to use me as He sees fit, even if I never understand how I am being used/the impact. Also, I don't believe God has a grand purpose for all of us (like Billy Graham). Maybe Rosa Park's only purpose was to sit in the front of the bus, and God gave her the conviction/courage for this which she followed.
 
hornetguy

hornetguy

Senior Member
#29
Jan 18, 2016
7,114
1,743
113
#29
There are many things that can make life "worth living".... get a hobby... volunteer somewhere.... give back.

and, spiritually.... there's the advice to Titus....

"3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may [c]encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
 
Mem

Mem

Senior Member
#30
Sep 23, 2014
7,159
2,174
113
#30
It's said that depression is an indication that one dwells too much on the past and anxiety is an indication of dwelling too much on the future and so we need to practice being present. That is we shouldn't neglect those in front of us in favor of those behind or ahead of us. So, at the moment, in particular at a time of the loss of a loved one, it is important that one adequately grieve. Personally, I've wondered at myself if I'd ever find relief, that is until I reached that point of allowing myself to release the wailing, keening as they call it in Scottish culture, I think. Doing this was making sure that I did not neglect myself within my moment, of grief and not necessarily of depression even though the past seemed to be the only thing left to dwell on in regard to a loved one passing away in time. But that's the thing, to put it into perspective, it's all in time and that necessitates that all of this is temporal. And if we know there is coming the eternal where there is no more death, then we also know that death is temporal for us in Christ. As David reached the moment of emergence out of his mourning, "he will not come to me, but I will go to him." This is what was able to tell my father-in-law as his moment of passing approached and knowing he worried more of how we would fair rather than for myself. "You go ahead of us, and we will be along shortly, the Lord keeps us both in life and in death," knowing time is fleeting and 20 years zips by seemingly faster the older we get. However, each moment doesn't get any more precious as the next as it might seem it should, but perhaps it is only that we come to the realization of the value of each moment more readily. So, I'm really not getting the thought of 'not looking forward' to my older years as I realize that, if I find myself in that attitude, I'm really just resenting 'losing' the moments that I've accumulated so far. And this risks my missing the current moment's treasure.
 
Tall_Timbers

Tall_Timbers

Well-known member
#32
Mar 31, 2023
1,142
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Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#32
seoulsearch said:
what's left to look forward to in life
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-Become active in one or more Christian ministries
-Learn new things
-The best thing is knowing that you're fairly close to going home to heaven, either by Rapture or Expiration

seoulsearch said:
* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting?
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No milestones other than I do what I want to do. If I want to visit family, I do it. If I want to go fishing, I go fishing... etc.

seoulsearch said:
I know that a lot of people will say to volunteer, serve others, take the time to get closer to God, etc., but what do you find yourself turning to when you've done those things and still find yourself running on empty?
Click to expand...
I take lots of naps... and I mean lots.
 
Bob-Carabbio

Bob-Carabbio

Well-known member
#33
Jun 24, 2020
1,603
804
113
#33
seoulsearch said:
I can certainly empathize with your situation, and I am sincerely sorry to hear this. I have/have had family members going through this, along with things like the death of a spouse, loss of mobility, etc.

I've heard it often said that getting older is not for the weak.

May God bless and comfort you, and I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
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I remember my mother, who toward the end of her life was in constant agonizing pain from what they called "fibrositis" (inflammation of the muscle tissue) aske me if I knew any Biblical passages that said that suicide was acceptable for a Christian in constant unrelenting pain. Of course I couldn't. Mercifully, she died shortly thereafter when he heart gave out.
 
B

Burn1986

Active member
#34
Mar 4, 2024
918
212
43
#34
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

My childhood best friend and I were talking about this a long time ago. She's the only person (besides my family) who has pretty much known me all my life. We met in kindergarten when we were 5 years old and still talk to this day.

One afternoon, we were talking about all the major milestones we've seen each other through while growing up:

* Catechism and our First Communion (a very big milestone in the Lutheran church.)
* Starting high school, which was a very big deal because we went to the same Lutheran school kindergarten through 8th grade -- high school was the first time we were "split up," and going to different schools.
* Driver's ed (back when it was free,) turning 16, getting our licenses and being able to drive by ourselves.
* Turning 21, even though neither of us are drinkers.
* Graduating high school and college.
* First jobs, both as teens, and then out of college.
* First time living on our own, finding apartments and houses.
* First dates, and, "Is this 'The One'"?!
* Getting married (and for me, she was there for me when my husband divorced me for his girlfriend.)
* For her, the births of her children and now watching their milestones as they grow.

Though she has several more milestones to go with her kids, we talked about the fact that everything seems to matter when we're young. We found ourselves asking the question, "What is there left to look forward to -- collecting Social Security?"

How would you answer this question?

* For those of us past the age of major milestones, or don't have kids, or have kids who are having milestones of their own, what's left to look forward to in life?

* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting? Retirement? Traveling with your spouse?

* For those who don't have a spouse, what kinds of things do you plan to do on your own?

* What keeps life interesting, and how do you continue to follow God's purpose for your life in later years?

Like most people, I find myself fighting to feel like there is relevant meaning in my life as I get older. I've found this especially challenging since I have no family of my own.

I know that a lot of people will say to volunteer, serve others, take the time to get closer to God, etc., but what do you find yourself turning to when you've done those things and still find yourself running on empty?
Click to expand...
Most of us don’t have an answer.
 
icequeen

icequeen

Active member
#35
Nov 8, 2019
211
134
43
#35
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

My childhood best friend and I were talking about this a long time ago. She's the only person (besides my family) who has pretty much known me all my life. We met in kindergarten when we were 5 years old and still talk to this day.

One afternoon, we were talking about all the major milestones we've seen each other through while growing up:

* Catechism and our First Communion (a very big milestone in the Lutheran church.)
* Starting high school, which was a very big deal because we went to the same Lutheran school kindergarten through 8th grade -- high school was the first time we were "split up," and going to different schools.
* Driver's ed (back when it was free,) turning 16, getting our licenses and being able to drive by ourselves.
* Turning 21, even though neither of us are drinkers.
* Graduating high school and college.
* First jobs, both as teens, and then out of college.
* First time living on our own, finding apartments and houses.
* First dates, and, "Is this 'The One'"?!
* Getting married (and for me, she was there for me when my husband divorced me for his girlfriend.)
* For her, the births of her children and now watching their milestones as they grow.

Though she has several more milestones to go with her kids, we talked about the fact that everything seems to matter when we're young. We found ourselves asking the question, "What is there left to look forward to -- collecting Social Security?"

How would you answer this question?

* For those of us past the age of major milestones, or don't have kids, or have kids who are having milestones of their own, what's left to look forward to in life?

* What kinds of new milestones do you set for yourself to keep life interesting? Retirement? Traveling with your spouse?

* For those who don't have a spouse, what kinds of things do you plan to do on your own?

* What keeps life interesting, and how do you continue to follow God's purpose for your life in later years?

Like most people, I find myself fighting to feel like there is relevant meaning in my life as I get older. I've found this especially challenging since I have no family of my own.

I know that a lot of people will say to volunteer, serve others, take the time to get closer to God, etc., but what do you find yourself turning to when you've done those things and still find yourself running on empty?
Click to expand...
I once had a visitor staying at my home through Airbnb. He was some kind of buhdist, and talked about how he lived and planned to live to prepare for death and to secure that he wouldn't be reborn as a bug or disabled person. (Talking to a disabled person, I found it a bit troubling, as according to his logic I was punished by being a bad person in a previous life). Longing for Heaven and having a glorified body is what I look forward to. Besides that I just try to live as best as I can, enjoy the small events, the people I meet, the results that my students make (and thinking that I might have contributed a tiny bit), work and when I see God can use me for His purpose. Life is about living every day as best as you can, and not getting your hopes up to high.

As for something I look forward to, I have planned a trip to Germany, still dreaming of a Transatlantic cruise and other than that I am excited to see what God has planned for me. It would be wonderful to see a miracle or two, but if they don't happen I am happy as I live day by day. I weed out things that pull me down and keep doing the things that gives me joy. For me that's a more than enough.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#36
Aug 13, 2014
27,370
9,378
113
#36
icequeen said:
I once had a visitor staying at my home through Airbnb. He was some kind of buhdist, and talked about how he lived and planned to live to prepare for death and to secure that he wouldn't be reborn as a bug or disabled person. (Talking to a disabled person, I found it a bit troubling, as according to his logic I was punished by being a bad person in a previous life).
Click to expand...
(Hefting a baseball bat...)
"Buddy I can give you a sneak peek into that disabled life, real fast!"

Reminds me of that part in the Bible where the disciples ask Jesus who had sinned, the blind man's mother or his father, that he wound up being blind.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#37
May 23, 2009
16,499
5,429
113
#37
icequeen said:
I once had a visitor staying at my home through Airbnb. (Talking to a disabled person, I found it a bit troubling, as according to his logic I was punished by being a bad person in a previous life). Longing for Heaven and having a glorified body is what I look forward to. Besides that I just try to live as best as I can, enjoy the small events, the people I meet, the results that my students make (and thinking that I might have contributed a tiny bit), work and when I see God can use me for His purpose. Life is about living every day as best as you can, and not getting your hopes up to high.

As for something I look forward to, I have planned a trip to Germany, still dreaming of a Transatlantic cruise and other than that I am excited to see what God has planned for me. It would be wonderful to see a miracle or two, but if they don't happen I am happy as I live day by day. I weed out things that pull me down and keep doing the things that gives me joy. For me that's a more than enough.
Click to expand...
I am so sorry this person said this to you.

It makes me think of how the Bible says everyone, no matter their background, will be held accountable for every careless word...

I know you said this man had beliefs rooted in reincarnation but -- we also know that there will come a day when he'll be held responsible for unfairly judging people with different challenges than his own.

I admire your spirit and determination to make the best out of this life, and you are excited to see what God is doing next.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#38
#38
icequeen said:
I once had a visitor staying at my home through Airbnb. He was some kind of buhdist, and talked about how he lived and planned to live to prepare for death and to secure that he wouldn't be reborn as a bug or disabled person. (Talking to a disabled person, I found it a bit troubling, as according to his logic I was punished by being a bad person in a previous life). Longing for Heaven and having a glorified body is what I look forward to. Besides that I just try to live as best as I can, enjoy the small events, the people I meet, the results that my students make (and thinking that I might have contributed a tiny bit), work and when I see God can use me for His purpose. Life is about living every day as best as you can, and not getting your hopes up to high.

As for something I look forward to, I have planned a trip to Germany, still dreaming of a Transatlantic cruise and other than that I am excited to see what God has planned for me. It would be wonderful to see a miracle or two, but if they don't happen I am happy as I live day by day. I weed out things that pull me down and keep doing the things that gives me joy. For me that's a more than enough.
Click to expand...
I wonder what he would have said to me…

According to him I must have been a terrible person in a previous life…
 
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