How To Even Meet Someone?

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May 13, 2024
85
57
18
#21
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.

What do you all recommend? It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.


I'd love advice, or..anything! If it helps, I'm in my early 20s so, any suggestions!


♡ ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎♡
Bunny
Id love to help sad bunny
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.

What do you all recommend? It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.


I'd love advice, or..anything! If it helps, I'm in my early 20s so, any suggestions!


♡ ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎♡
Bunny
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.

What do you all recommend? It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.


I'd love advice, or..anything! If it helps, I'm in my early 20s so, any suggestions!


♡ ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎♡
Bunny
Id love to help bunny. I just saw one last night.
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.

What do you all recommend? It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.


I'd love advice, or..anything! If it helps, I'm in my early 20s so, any suggestions!


♡ ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎♡
Bunny
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.

What do you all recommend? It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.


I'd love advice, or..anything! If it helps, I'm in my early 20s so, any suggestions!


♡ ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎♡
Bunny
Id love to help. I have some things to share that may help you feel better. I saw a 🐰 just last night, so it could be a sign to connect. Let's chat via our pm.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,547
16,416
113
69
Tennessee
#23
Please explain a classic cc love story. I'm new here...
@melita916 met her future mother-in-law on this site. She introduced her son to her. They dated for a time, fell in love, and soon married. She now has a husband who she loves and a toddler to adore. Seems classic to me. Quite a story and it started on this site.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,570
8,439
113
#24
Please explain a classic cc love story. I'm new here...
Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have a simple misunderstanding that could easily be solved in two sentences, maximum, but they don't talk to each other because their feelings get hurt. Boy and girl both get lonely and realize they need each other. Boy and girl explain the misunderstanding to each other, feel really embarrassed that they let something so trivial come between them and live happily ever after.

Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,547
16,416
113
69
Tennessee
#25
Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have a simple misunderstanding that could easily be solved in two sentences, maximum, but they don't talk to each other because their feelings get hurt. Boy and girl both get lonely and realize they need each other. Boy and girl explain the misunderstanding to each other, feel really embarrassed that they let something so trivial come between them and live happily ever after.

Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
...especially at during the Christmas season. Quite sappy and predicable.
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
528
194
43
#26
Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have a simple misunderstanding that could easily be solved in two sentences, maximum, but they don't talk to each other because their feelings get hurt. Boy and girl both get lonely and realize they need each other. Boy and girl explain the misunderstanding to each other, feel really embarrassed that they let something so trivial come between them and live happily ever after.

Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
Isn't that every movie with a love interest?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,570
8,439
113
#27
Isn't that every movie with a love interest?
No, not EVERY movie. Some of them, boy and girl get separated by circumstances and meet much later after a lot of movie runtime has been used up.
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
528
194
43
#28
No, not EVERY movie. Some of them, boy and girl get separated by circumstances and meet much later after a lot of movie runtime has been used up.
Ah yes, how could I forget about that cliche? I'm so glad I don't watch movies anymore.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,570
8,439
113
#29
Ah yes, how could I forget about that cliche? I'm so glad I don't watch movies anymore.
"To have a good story, you have to make trouble for the protagonist."

They just get really lazy about finding new ways to make trouble. They keep making the same trouble over and over and over and over and...
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
528
194
43
#30
"To have a good story, you have to make trouble for the protagonist."

They just get really lazy about finding new ways to make trouble. They keep making the same trouble over and over and over and over and...
Lol so true. It also seemed like the dialogue in movies turned into quippy one liners and had no actual substance to it. Movies also became way too predictable in their stories. It's like watching the same movie over and over again with different actors.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,570
8,439
113
#31
Lol so true. It also seemed like the dialogue in movies turned into quippy one liners and had no actual substance to it. Movies also became way too predictable in their stories. It's like watching the same movie over and over again with different actors.
But... But... But THIS time the webbing actually comes from Spider Man's wrists, not from a contraption! And THIS time Professor X gets killed! How could you not like this rewrite? It's much better than the last four.

Comedian quote:
"I have a new FF theory. I believe your intelligence is inversely proportionate to how many Fast and Furious movies you have watched. If you watched one or zero, Mensa needs you to call them. If you watched all of them, how do you have enough neurons to keep your respiratory and circulatory systems functional?"
 

Cold

Active member
Apr 18, 2024
528
194
43
#32
But... But... But THIS time the webbing actually comes from Spider Man's wrists, not from a contraption! And THIS time Professor X gets killed! How could you not like this rewrite? It's much better than the last four.

Comedian quote:
"I have a new FF theory. I believe your intelligence is inversely proportionate to how many Fast and Furious movies you have watched. If you watched one or zero, Mensa needs you to call them. If you watched all of them, how do you have enough neurons to keep your respiratory and circulatory systems functional?"
Haha. My cousin made me go see one of the fast and furious movies in theater. I don't remember which one it was but they drove a car in space. Nuff said.
 
May 13, 2024
85
57
18
#33
@melita916 met her future mother-in-law on this site. She introduced her son to her. They dated for a time, fell in love, and soon married. She now has a husband who she loves and a toddler to adore. Seems classic to me. Quite a story and it started on this site.
Wow, is that true??? Love it!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,547
16,416
113
69
Tennessee
#35
Wow, is that true??? Love it!
I met my wife on this site who is also a member shortly after I joined in 2014. We were married later in the same year and this November will be celebrating our 10th anniversary.
 
May 13, 2024
85
57
18
#36
I met my wife on this site who is also a member shortly after I joined in 2014. We were married later in the same year and this November will be celebrating our 10th anniversary.
Congratulations Brother! Love it!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
57,016
26,738
113
#37
Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl have a simple misunderstanding that could easily be solved in two sentences, maximum, but they don't talk to each other because their feelings get hurt. Boy and girl both get lonely and realize they need each other. Boy and girl explain the misunderstanding to each other, feel really embarrassed that they let something so trivial come between them and live happily ever after.

Or... That's how Grandma's Hallmark Channel movies show a classic love story. Over and over and over and over and over and...
I also found My Demon to be fairly unique and quite hilarious to boot, and enjoyed Castaway Diva as well.

:)
 

SteveEpperson

Junior Member
May 12, 2018
552
220
43
#38
I'm so confused, especially on how to find someone with similar views and wants.
Oaky so, first off, I'm noticing some replies to this thread that are designed to scare you to death, and that's tragic. With that said, when a guy approaches you, there are three safety questions you need to ask yourself:

1. What is he going to do to me?

2. How long will this interaction take?

3. Why is he saying this to me?

If he cannot answer those questions within a few minutes of approaching you, it's vital that you immediately look for an exit, or at least get some help managing the situation.

As far as finding someone with similar views and wants

I often say flirting, dating, and romance are like a fine bottle of wine. It's best to let it breathe before enjoying the complexity of its wonderful flavors. In other words, when a guy introduces himself and starts a conversation, resist the temptation to go into "analytical mode."

You see, women are programmed to immediately start thinking of a guy they just met in terms of what kind of husband he'd be. Or, at the very least, you may start to calculate in your head what you may have in common. You may also be tempted to look at his shoes (or another clothing item) and decide, "Gee, he's not the best dresser in the world, so he may not have a great job, so how will he support me and the kids? What happens if I am the sole breadwinner of the family? Is this guy really as serious as me when it comes to being responsible for our own lives?'

And this is even before he says hello!

Let the courting process happen naturally

Courting is still "a thing" in 2024. After all, it's the only antidote for all the mindless "hook-up" apps available. The dating process should be:

1. Boy meets girl and shows interest

2. Either boy or girl asks the other out (yes, I believe men are so clueless in 2024 about asking women out that you may have to ask him out)

3. The first date is when you both meet somewhere VERY public. He does NOT pick you up

4. You agree to subsequent dates only when convinced he is safe to be around. Otherwise, you can agree to another "first date" or dump him.

This doesn't mean you should start making a list of compatibilities and do side-by-side comparisons of how much better you are than him. This ONE thing is how most women derail their relationship with a guy right out of the gate. Instead of having fun and enjoying the experience of getting to know him, you'll end up being critical of him, and poof! He moves on to someone who will treat him better.

This doesn't mean he gets to pressure you for sex and other sorted demands. It just means you should give the relationship room to breathe, as in the wine analogy.

It feels like I can never find someone who's serious, or even looking to say more than 'Hey'.
The whole "serious" thing is where you can derail a great starting point in a relationship. For that reason, I hereby give you permission to not be serious at all, at least in the beginning. Let yourself date and have fun rather than worrying about future plans of having a six-figure income, a 3,000-square-foot house, 2.5 kids, a three-car garage, approval of the guy from EVERONE, a killer retirement, and college tuition for the kids.

Date more than one guy at a time

Now, before anyone here starts clutching their pearls or goes looking for their fainting couch, let me explain.

In the secular world, it is understood that you become boyfriend/girlfriend the minute you have sex. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way forever. But!

Since you are a child of God, and you are NOT going to have sex before marriage, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot date more than one guy at a time. In fact, you should, and here's why:

1. It will keep you from getting too "serious" with any one guy too soon, which could lead to fornication and all the problems that go with it.

2. It allows you to move on quickly from a bad dating experience. Too many women (and men) get too hung up too quickly with one person, which can lead to a bad relationship, leading to a bad marriage, and ultimately, a bad divorce.

It seems like whether in person or online, it just doesn't seem to work.
Don't try to "make it work." Try just letting it work.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,570
8,439
113
#39
Date more than one guy at a time

Now, before anyone here starts clutching their pearls or goes looking for their fainting couch, let me explain.

In the secular world, it is understood that you become boyfriend/girlfriend the minute you have sex. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way forever. But!

Since you are a child of God, and you are NOT going to have sex before marriage, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot date more than one guy at a time. In fact, you should, and here's why:
That sounds like a lot of w*rk and very stressful. If you deliberately make me compete for your heart with a lot of other guys, I don't want your heart. Let some other guy have it. I'll wait for someone with a less cynically enterprising heart.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,396
2,394
113
#40
Oaky so, first off, I'm noticing some replies to this thread that are designed to scare you to death, and that's tragic. With that said, when a guy approaches you, there are three safety questions you need to ask yourself:

1. What is he going to do to me?

2. How long will this interaction take?

3. Why is he saying this to me?

If he cannot answer those questions within a few minutes of approaching you, it's vital that you immediately look for an exit, or at least get some help managing the situation.

As far as finding someone with similar views and wants

I often say flirting, dating, and romance are like a fine bottle of wine. It's best to let it breathe before enjoying the complexity of its wonderful flavors. In other words, when a guy introduces himself and starts a conversation, resist the temptation to go into "analytical mode."

You see, women are programmed to immediately start thinking of a guy they just met in terms of what kind of husband he'd be. Or, at the very least, you may start to calculate in your head what you may have in common. You may also be tempted to look at his shoes (or another clothing item) and decide, "Gee, he's not the best dresser in the world, so he may not have a great job, so how will he support me and the kids? What happens if I am the sole breadwinner of the family? Is this guy really as serious as me when it comes to being responsible for our own lives?'

And this is even before he says hello!

Let the courting process happen naturally

Courting is still "a thing" in 2024. After all, it's the only antidote for all the mindless "hook-up" apps available. The dating process should be:

1. Boy meets girl and shows interest

2. Either boy or girl asks the other out (yes, I believe men are so clueless in 2024 about asking women out that you may have to ask him out)

3. The first date is when you both meet somewhere VERY public. He does NOT pick you up

4. You agree to subsequent dates only when convinced he is safe to be around. Otherwise, you can agree to another "first date" or dump him.

This doesn't mean you should start making a list of compatibilities and do side-by-side comparisons of how much better you are than him. This ONE thing is how most women derail their relationship with a guy right out of the gate. Instead of having fun and enjoying the experience of getting to know him, you'll end up being critical of him, and poof! He moves on to someone who will treat him better.

This doesn't mean he gets to pressure you for sex and other sorted demands. It just means you should give the relationship room to breathe, as in the wine analogy.



The whole "serious" thing is where you can derail a great starting point in a relationship. For that reason, I hereby give you permission to not be serious at all, at least in the beginning. Let yourself date and have fun rather than worrying about future plans of having a six-figure income, a 3,000-square-foot house, 2.5 kids, a three-car garage, approval of the guy from EVERONE, a killer retirement, and college tuition for the kids.

Date more than one guy at a time

Now, before anyone here starts clutching their pearls or goes looking for their fainting couch, let me explain.

In the secular world, it is understood that you become boyfriend/girlfriend the minute you have sex. It's been that way forever, and it will be that way forever. But!

Since you are a child of God, and you are NOT going to have sex before marriage, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot date more than one guy at a time. In fact, you should, and here's why:

1. It will keep you from getting too "serious" with any one guy too soon, which could lead to fornication and all the problems that go with it.

2. It allows you to move on quickly from a bad dating experience. Too many women (and men) get too hung up too quickly with one person, which can lead to a bad relationship, leading to a bad marriage, and ultimately, a bad divorce.



Don't try to "make it work." Try just letting it work.
Well some of this device is decent. And some of it seems designed to scare you or at least make you see all guys talking to you as a threat. As long as you aren't looking for a date in tge places peopke go to just to find someone to warm their bed for the night, most guys are not a threat when they say hi in public. Good rule of thumb is simpky to be wise enough to not be alone with a guy until he's earned your trust. And if he has a problem with that he's not a guy you want to be with.