Toxic Males

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Christian men have a pot-holed path to navigate. On the one hand they
have to be strong without being bullies, and on the other they have to be
tender without being sissies; for example:

● 1Pet 3:7a . . Give honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.

NOTE: Although husbands are senior in the Christian marriage relationship,
their position doesn't grant them carte blanch to mistreat their wives any
more than Jesus has carte blanch to mistreat his church. (cf. Eph 5:28-30)

The Greek word for "honor" basically means: a value.

The word for "weaker" basically means: having no strength, i.e. fragile.

And the word for "vessel" basically indicates anything from a soup bowl to a
cardboard box; in other words: a container.

Peter isn't saying women are physically weaker than men; he's saying
Christian husbands should exercise the same care with their wives as they
would a fragile antique worth thousands of dollars like, say, a Ming vase.
Nobody in their right mind handles a Ming vase like a farmer handles a 5
gallon bucket. Not that some women couldn't take that kind of handling; it's
just that its unbecoming for a Christian man to lack sensitivity.

This particular assessed value isn't an intrinsic value, nor is it a deserved
value either; but rather, it's a gratuitous value. In other words: Christ
commands Christian husbands to categorize their wives up there with
Dresden china even if she's as tough as a female cop and/or a UFC mixed
martial artist the likes of Rhonda Rousey-- and this is not a choice; no, it
isn't optional; it's required.

Christian husbands who treat their Skil saws and their tomato plants with
more care and concern than they treat their wives can just forget about
associating with God on any meaningful level.

● 1Pet 3:7b . . as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers
be not hindered.

Note the word "together" which is quite the opposite of autonomy and/or
independence.

Couples sometimes assert themselves with words like "What I do is between
me and The Lord." No; marriage changes everything between one's self and
The Lord because people become one flesh in marriage: no longer two
sovereign individuals. (Gen 2:22-24)

* There's a hierarchy in the one flesh just as there is a hierarchy in the one
divinity. (1Cor 11:3)
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‘I love the equality given us all to see it and be willingly to appreciate it and not misuse it, thanks webers home for extrapolating on this truth of freedom to treat all as equals.

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● 1Tim 5:1a . . When speaking to an older man, appeal to him respectfully
as though he were your own father.

Those instructions weren't given to a child, rather, to a grown Christian man
in charge of managing a whole church. So I gather that if a man in Timothy's
position is required to associate with seniors as his betters, then ordinary
Christian men would also be required.

This goes way back to the law that Moses' people agreed upon with God in
the Old Testament.

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere
your God. I am The Lord." (Lev 19:32)

* I was in a Sunday school class one morning where a young fellow
substituted for the regular teacher. After practically every sentence during
his lecture, the fellow would pause, tighten his lips, turn down the corners of
his mouth, squint his eyes into narrow slits, and look around the room with a
fierce scowl on his face. I don't know about the rest of the group, but as a
man easily twice his age; I deeply resented the looks that youngster was
giving us.
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Ecclesiastes, the book of Ecclesiastes comes to mindful thought. God having no respect of persons. seeing to share in care and ask in car, and let others be as they believe, however that be. we, at least me am not in charge. the above type of things happening happen from both ends of the scale.
As I remember my dad, while growing up, who knew a lot, even the Bible like the back of his hand, amazing this was to me.
I one day said to him, you know, do you not think I might have learned something you have not yet learned, even though I was 16 at that time?
Out od the mouths of babes, not that I know, I choose to listen and grow up in God for me as many others do too, or not, each has their own free choices too

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● 1Tim 5:1b . .Speak to the younger men as you would to your own kindred.

In this case, the kindred would be sort of like a man's kid brothers. Young
boys look up to their big brothers; who by all rights should be setting the
example as role models that a growing boy can be proud of. Big brothers
ought to be available too, and not treat their younger siblings as excess
baggage and/or uncool nerds and morons beneath their dignity to be seen
with.

"Don't be elitist, but willing to associate with people below you." (Rom 12:16)

* Men who grew up in dysfunctional homes, where human relationships were
an ongoing cold war, are going to find that 1Tim 5:1b is very difficult to
practice in a manner that cultivates peace, love, and understanding. But
were they to speak to the younger men in church the very same way that
they're accustomed to speaking to their own families; it would produce
disastrous results.
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The most appropriate word but seldom used is symbiotic relationship.

Man is to have a symbiotic relationship with his wife. A symbiotic relationship with God and a symbiotic relationship with the earth.

That's it in a nutshell.

If any of these symbiotic relationships fail....man and mankind dies.

Even sharks, a predatory creature, does not eat or harm the species of fish it lives in symbiosis with.

We were made to be symbiotic creatures.

I agree with everything you write, fellow "B." I would add that after 56 years of marriage before my dear wife died, the words in Ephesians 5, "Love your wives as Christ loved the church," ring true. However, we men have to realize that loving our wives is not an emotion that comes and goes. I learned that it means that we must serve our wives' needs just as Jesus has served the church's needs.

What are most wives' needs? They need to be hugged and kissed a lot; they need for us to listen to them actively, by reflecting back to them their emotions, not while we're on our cell phones either; and they need us to serve their sexual needs with real closeness.

Then, God will lift us up to be the servant-leaders of the marriage. Listen to my advice, and you will have contented, happy wives willing to follow you in the big decisions of life.

The easiest way to aim to be Christ-like. Guys have a great model to follow. He has to be strong and protective but also able to turn the other cheek, be caring, etc. He shows the positive attributes of being alpha and beta male (not the negative attributes such as aggression for alpha or passive aggression for beta).

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● 1Tim 5:2a . . Speak to the older women as mothers,

Honoring one's mother means giving her the respect that her age and her
maternal position deserve. It means watching your language, and it means
keeping a civil tongue in your head. It means speaking to her as a grown-up
instead of a child. It means treating her as one's better instead of lesser. It
means deferring to her wishes instead of demanding your own.

NOTE: In some cultures, elders have to earn respect, i.e. they have to
deserve it; whereas in Christianity their respect is taken for granted; they
don't have to earn it. For example: according to Lev 19:32 the younger
generation is expected to honor the older; not because they deserve it, but
because God requires it. Why? Because He too is an elder, viz: disrespect for
an elder on earth is felt by the elder on the throne in Heaven.

* In extreme cases-- e.g. serial killer Ed Kemper --common sense dictates
that mothers like his should not be respected at all; in point of fact, they
should be hanged for severe child abuse. Nevertheless, were Ed to take up
Christianity, he'd have to begin regarding his mom with a very different
attitude than he does now. (Ed murdered his mom back in 1973. He is
currently 75, in poor health, and contained in a criminal medical facility.)
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Ed committed a number of unspeakable crimes, but nevertheless guys in his
situation are not beyond redemption

● John 3:16-17 . . For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only
son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For
God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save
the world through him.

The Greek word translated "loved" rarely has anything to do with fondness.
It mostly pertains to benevolence, e.g. kindness, courtesy, lenience,
tolerance, generosity, charity, sympathy, compassion, etc. In point of fact
no doubt many of us disgust the supreme being and bear little, if any,
resemblance to the kind of folks with whom He prefers to associate.

Nevertheless, God was thinking of everybody, including Ed Kemper, when
Jesus went to the cross.

● Isa 53:6 . .We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to
his own way; and The Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

So if he had a mind to, Ed could take advantage of Jesus' crucifixion to
protect himself from retribution. But he'd still be the same old Ed Kemper,
and in that state, Ed has some very serious issues with women that are
humanly impossible to cure.

Well; I've no doubt that Ed would be the first to tell you that women in
Heaven would be in very grave danger with him there if not for a way to
relieve Ed of his issues with women. Well, as a matter of fact, God is in the
wings for guys in Ed's condition and He's well able to peel Ed's negative
issues off him like a dead skin so he can depart this life a different man.

● Col 2:11-12 . . In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the
sinful nature-- not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with
the circumcision done by Christ.

Judaism has its circumcision, but Christianity has one that's much better
because it has the power to liberate people from human nature's rather
disagreeable inclinations, viz: whereas Judaism's circumcision is merely a
ritual, Christianity's is the hand of God.
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"Toxic males" should be simply "toxic people". There are both toxic males and females. The best antidote is obedience to the Word of God.

I find the phrase "toxic feminists" is usually pretty accurate. But definitely "toxic males" is a sexist phrase, and I thought feminists were supposed to be opposed to this sort of thing... Or are they really pushing the "equality" that George Orwell warned us about - "everybody is equal, but some are just more equal than others"? I find most feminists really are just Communists hiding under the banner of women's rights. Kind of pathetic. <End rant>

You are right about the connection between Feminism and Communism. There is a connection. There is even a term such as "Marxist Feminism". Today women have even more rights than men, and Western men have allowed themselves to be emasculated.

How is it that there are so many incompetent and evil women as governors of various states in the USA? How is it that women in any position with power are more evil than men in the same positions? Many years ago, some "Christian" women became "Christian Feminists". I think that that fad has disappeared, but what about the women who insist that they should be pastors? That gives them authority over the whole local church, and that is against the Word of God.

I have some shortfalls in this area, unfortunately. One of the staples of people in this cluster is a lack of impulse control. If I can take a WWJD moment, then we're all good. If I can't divert my focus, then it normally doesn't end very well. It's the latter most of the time.

Any scriptures or messages you can think of to keep in mind when people can find themselves in that moment?

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (James 1:19) Take a one minute pause before speaking.

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● 1Tim 5:2b . . Speak to the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Men should especially avoid speaking to the young women in church as if
they've met in a beer joint or a bowling alley. There are some forms of
language, and figures of speech, that no sensible man would ever use
around his real sister, so we want to keep that in mind when around girls
who aren't.
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While it certainly isn't appropriate to use vulgar language, perhaps a better interpretation is that a man should speak to a younger woman as a sister rather than as a potential girlfriend/wife. Most men don't think of their sisters with "relational" thoughts, so choosing to see other women as sisters helps to keep inappropriate thoughts suppressed.

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● Eph 6:4 . . Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them
up in the training and instruction of The Lord.

Too often the first half of that verse is omitted and the focus swung entirely
upon the second. Well; let's break ranks and include the first half for a
change because a daddy's parenting style has far more effect upon a
growing child than the daddy's religion.

To begin with: despotism, tyranny, totalitarianism, and injustice are not The
Lord's way of raising kids; but rather; His way is the manner of a shepherd;
and good shepherds aren't cruel to their flocks.

Maybe you don't burn your kids with cigarettes, pour Tabasco sauce in their
eyes, or lock them in a hall closet without food and water for two days; but
do you ignore their opinions, demean them with denigrating labels, ridicule
them, threaten their lives, work them as slaves without compensation, deny
them things just so you won't appear to indulge them, and/or say "no" to
their requests for no good reason than that you don't want to seem weak
and under their control?

Do you routinely abuse their human rights, and/or relegate them to the level
of livestock rather than bona fide human beings with feelings and a mind of
their own? Do you nurture within them a feeling of importance, of belonging
in your home, or do you make them feel like an invasive species and/or an
uninvited guest? Kids pick up on things like that.
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● 1Cor 16:13a . . Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, be men of
courage; be strong.

The Greek word for "men of courage" basically means to act manly; defined
by Webster's as: (1) having qualities generally associated with a man; viz:
strength and virility, and (2) appropriate in character to a man.

These days; progressive politics (a.k.a. woke) would have us to believe that
things like manliness, strength, and virility are toxic, viz: threats to public
health and safety. Well; all I can say to Christian men is: DO NOT permit
progressive politics to define your manhood or you'll just end up a sissy boy
and thus useless for standing firm in the faith; instead your stance will
become flexible, i.e. influenced by evolving social customs.
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● Col 3:21 . . Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become
discouraged.

The Greek word translated "discouraged" has to do with breaking the spirit.
Really bad cases of emotional abuse can cause a child to lose the will to
excel; sometimes even the will to live, i.e. suicidal.
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