Depression

I haven't been depressed in a really long time but today, this hour or two, I've been experiencing some serious depression. Not sure if it is a chemical imbalance or just straight up real depression, which I think it is real depression.

If I'm not as active on here, I'm probably just spending time in prayer. I don't have energy for much. Just feel like dying.

I'm probably really hard to be around. I think people avoid me because of my beliefs, because I have such strong convictions.

I've been through a lot of hardship early on and all throughout my life, even after becoming a Christian and I'm sure there is just more to come, just by being a bible believing follower of Jesus, the most persecuted and oppressed of all peoples on the planet.

I've thought about ending my life many times.

For those that don't know, if you end your life as a Christian, you don't go straight to hell. That is just made up.

I don't think God wants who truly suffer to suffer their entire life and if they want to end it, that it is up to that person.

I used to care that it would hurt my friends and family but what I've experienced in the last few years, everyone walked away. They all fell and didn't have the strength to be supportive or maybe I just didn't need the support anymore. God knows.

I'm probably more independent now than ever, though dependent on God for everything.

Tomorrow will be a new day.

2 Timothy 3 verse 12 ~ Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.

*Sending hugs and prayers

We are here for you.

Depression stems from hopelessness. God has promised us a future and a hope. Command the devil to get off you, off your mind and off your feelings. Start to confess that God's plan for you is perfect.

I've been where you are. Suicidal thoughts are from Satan. Jesus came that we we might have abundant life. He Himself is that life. Start to declare, "Lord Jesus, you are my way, my truth and my Life".

This Geoff Bullock song helped me through some dark times:

I can empathize.
I think there's some archives on depression. It might be helpful if there's something to glean from that information.
Remember that exercise is free as is sunshine and fresh air. Taking a walk every day shouldn't be a high risk activity. Set a time in the mornings and keep it up. Let me know if it makes a difference.
I by no means think that's the only thing to do, but it's a start and I would call that progress. Short sleeves if it's warm enough, so the morning sun can penetrate. There's a lot of Red Light therapy treatments people are trending about now. That's included in the package along with some D3.

I sure hope you are feeling better soon.

Before I knew the Truth I was numb . Probably suffering from PTSD but I don't know for sure . I never had any help dealing with my childhood . As a teenager I tried to kill myself a few times , God always saved me , though I didn't know that at the time . Suddenly in my mid twenties I ( I ? Not really 😜 ) I decided I wanted to know about God and the best place to go would b to His Word the Bible . I've never looked back . God saved my life and my sanity . If He hadn't prompted me into reading His Word I would have killed myself for sure . Ive never felt that blackness since I started reading the Bible every day . I do get a bit anxious sometimes , mostly to do with this world and the things I c going on in it and I'm not talking politics etc . It's the little things , on an intimate level . Suffering , fears and insecurities , cold heartedness and cruelty . When I c people and animals suffering , that upsets me but what upsets me even more is the world's indifference to the suffering that's going on in it .
Three things help me , the biggest and most effective is reading the Bible , hearing God's Words , feeling connected to Him , being reminded of the amazing and wonderful things to come and that I am going to b in the thick of it ! Taking part in God's plan for this earth , that it shall b filled with His Glory and I shall c that ! God does not lie , His Word will come to pass and I think we r in the last days for sure .
The other two things r sensory , some good music , energetic and joyful and/or , I put my coat and shoes on and go outside for a long walk , just being under God's sky , feeling His wind , hearing those birds that He so beautifully created , I feel connected to God through nature , His beautiful and awesome creation and I am a little part of it . One thing u have to know for sure and to keep in your heart is that u r very very much loved , by Jesus , by God . They know u intimately , faults and all and they live u very much and they want u with them , but not until they say so , u have to trust them 100 per cent and stay in this life until they decide to take u . You r not your own , u r bought with a price , your life is in Christ , in this world as long as they say so because , u can bear it , u can cope , u can live another day because they r with u , right there in the room where u r . All day every day . U must trust them and stick with them because they have plans for u , awesome things u can't even imagine . U have been selected for awesomeness . Rejoice in His love for u . Wonderful things r coming , open your eyes and c your God , how He has been working in your life all through it , right up to this very second , and way beyond .

Psalm 18:28

My Pastor said, That depression is 'Hidden Anger.'