The Girl Before And After!

DANG! It's one of those times I'm split on the reaction emoji....

and winner ribbon and green check "agree" and clapping hands

Yup, hate to break to you men but women just are not getting all dolled up for the men...
they do this to compete against other women

I do it so that I won't look like this

If you're married and your focus is some weight gain, you have a very shallow relationship. People age, they gain weight, they have wrinkles, they have gray hair,and they lose their hair. It's an extremely immure relationship that focuses on these things and expects the other person to always remain the same. I wouldn't put my spouse under that kind of pressure. Unless the weight gain was unhealthy, but people can be skinny and be unhealthy.

My younger sister is a beautiful girl. I personally believe she could be a model. She works out constantly, she's probably a size 2 or less, she is a vegan. She's scared to death to look older, afraid her husband will lose attraction for her. She told me that she and her husband promised each other they would never gain weight. Deep inside I believe my sister is very unhappy. She's spent too much of her marriage worried about shallow things. What happens if she's in a car accident and is disfigured? What happens if she has to take medicine that causes her to gain weight? Very shallow relationship. People get older, bodies change. If you are in good health, great for you. Everyone should try to be healthy. But leaving someone because they gain some weight? You're not ready to be in a grown up relationship if you can't understand how the mother of your children might have some extra weight than when you met. People watch too many Hollywood movies.

Until you walk a mile... Another story to make my point. This was when I was still in ministry. We were at a church where the pastor and wife were friends. She was a nurse, she had twins, an two other boys all under the age of five. One of the twins had a bad heart, so they were often going to doctors. Of course she was a pastors wife on top of all this. So we stayed at their house and it was like a tornado had gone through. A terrible mess. She kept apologizing. She went off to work and myself, my sister and my mother got together and cleaned her house top to bottom, upstairs and down. When she came home and saw what we had done she fell in my mothers arms and sobbed. Now, my point isn't what we did, that was nothing. My point is you don't know what people are going through. Stress can cause people to gain weight. Meds can cause people to gain weight, certain diseases can cause weight gain. It's not always an excuse. If it is for some, that's on them. But you don't assume what peoples issues are. You don't know.g



No, they are loaded with vapid, shallow, fake women who have nothing else to focus on but themselves. Most of them are so fake if you smacked them on the back of the head their face would fall off. Give us their money and nannies to look after the kids and a husband who's a plastic surgeon and we'll look forever 18 too.

Well you sure as blue blazes aren't encouraging them. Maybe you should stick to giving men advice. I don't think this is your niche.

I believe I told this before but some wouldn't have seen it. I was with my mother one day, clothes shopping. Hubby had driven us there and was outside waiting on us. So I went in the room to try a few things on. I heard a woman say " you need to lose weight, I told you!" I heard a younger girls voice, half crying. She couldn't find anything to fit. The woman said " if you want the boys to like you, you'll have to lose weight" !! At first I couldn't believe what I was hearing! The young girl was so upset and was saying that she was trying to lose weight. The conversation kept on and I just grabbed my things and walked out. I was so upset.

As I was telling my mother this story, an older lady came out of the changing room with a young girl. The girl's face was red, easy to see she was very upset. I couldn't stop myself. I was mad at the older woman for what I heard her say. I was hurt for the young girl. I walked over to her and I said " You are beautiful! And you don't need to change! One day someone is going to love you just as you are!! I have been very thin before, I have weighed more or less at different times in my life. But that had nothing to do with who I was as a person. You be yourself! You are perfect as you are!!" I was near tears by now and was about to give the old lady a piece of my mind when God stopped me. The girl thanked me and the lady with her said " I'm her grandmother. She has lost her mother and I don't know how to encourage her. I don't know how to help her". She also thanked me. In the middle of all this my hubby came in and as usual planted a kiss on my head because he's so tall compared to me. And I turned to the girl and said " See! I'm not a size 2. I can't be because of my health. But look at me, I'm married to the most wonderful man who loves me for who I am." Hubby agreed, not knowing what was going on, but knew me well enough that he didn't question. I hugged the girl and her grandmother and I so hope what I said stayed with them. Hubby kissed my hand when I told him the story and said " You're such a good Christian". And I always answer " I try to be, I strive to be". I hope I didn't take away from your post sister. I just wanted the OP to think about what he's saying, how it could hurt someone terribly and discourage them.

People don't think about the effects such comments they have on others. I watch the YouTube channels of a few women in their 40's who are now battling anorexia to stay alive, often rooted from comments such as the ones you described -- and many of the people in their circles have already died.

And it's happening to young men as well, who believe steroids are the way to "the perfect body."

I love that your husband was right there with you as "proof" that we can be loved for who we are.

You could have very well saved that young girl's life.

God bless you! 💗💐

Okay, okay! There are sometimes exceptions but isn't strength beautiful
I think I'd rather look like that than:

I believe it was more of a commentary....

Noooooooo! Definitely do NOT turn his attention to giving men advice! I'm quite happy with him giving you girls advice! Y'all know it's not something you should take seriously anyway. And believe me, we guys don't need his kind of advice either. Y'all can keep him!

Sometimes I wish I looked just like Danny Trejo when I'm out walking in the 'hood lol.

ThereRosaeLamb, i speak to you pleasantly & amicably. this was not even about me or my wife. absolutely nothing to do with us. it was guys over their lifetime wondering about it speaking to me as any men would anywhere on earth. my greatness, how i received negative input to this. i said no derision or disparagement in my posting. what particularly occurred was we were in the adirondacks & a story was let loose at lunch about some bikers. the guy was unhappy with his g.f. by course, i know men have issues. i don't have all my hair either. as so often i do, i try to encourage people that they can try more to attain what they want. read my posting about 4 or 5:00 yesterday. i can see according to responses received my effort failed & i am now trying a new more delicate approach. imagine this: if people said they eat peanut butter & jam sandwiches or hot dogs all week, nobody will think they are bragging. but if people said they eat lobster & steak all week, everyone thinks they are bragging. you'll see the huge trouble i went thru when young & how i overcame obstacles. truly, i say to you, blessings always to you.

We all have preferences when it comes to who we find attractive. I've heard men say that their friends have different preferences to each other. This is the case with women too. When my best friend used to date, she was into the John Cena look, which I don't find physically attractive at all. She doesn't like beards, whereas I'm all about the beard!! We are very different in our preferences. I personally don't mind a heavy set guy. In my personal experience of relationships/dating, the guys on the heavier side are always more affectionate. This appeals to me, as I'm very affectionate.

I think attraction has its importance (not the most important thing, of course) and I think that it's good that we are all different. I think it would be horrible if I stepped outside tomorrow and everyone looked like they came off of a catwalk. I'd want to hide. I want to see a variety of people...and thankfully the Lord gave us plenty of variety in the world.

Ok... that does it! You had to bring the beanpoles into this?!
I watched a clip of Bette Davis as guest on the Tonight show recently and she noted of Johnny, "...Ok, you're not my straight man."

And I ended up the watch binge noticing that Julie Newmar, a prima donna, is still alive, 91, and currently posting pictures of her (Alice in Wonderland themed) garden, "Spring *somethingsomething*) that she designed with her son, who has down syndrome, as primary inspiration.

Everyone need be sensitive to a girl's weight, unless she's a beanpole, there's no needs to be concerned in that regard, let the jokes about them flood in.

But then, there's Rebel Wilson, who I considered exceptionally captivating at her 'biggest', and I've lost interest tuning in (or has she even worked on any projects since?) should I say, "I don't know why?" because I don't know why it wouldn't be proper to say, "I think she looked better fat,"? But I do wonder if it's really because I don't want to see that she'd 'changed' on the inside too.

My answer to the OP, why do women gain weight after... on my daughter's wedding day, she told me that she could finally get fat now that she..." and I interrupted her not wanting to hear the exact descriptive word she would choose to illustrate her accomplishment. I remember her introducing me to him while she was in town. I punctuated the announcement of him in her life with, "Cha-ching!"

The comment that provoked that reaction was, "He's a Jew..." and she continued saying, 'his mother is Catholic.' And I was like, "Of course," considering that I had pray God send her one that would love her, and I had suggested, "a nice Jewish or Catholic boy, mebbe..."
as if would find favor in God's sight, not that He should consider any of my suggestions as any sort of good counsel to Him. But, still, not being sure if he, indeed, was a Godsend, apart from that prayer coming to mind at each subsequent evaluation, it quickly came to a crux the day she said, "I'm so happy." That I really started putting him to the fire....

Anyway, is anybody really happy? Not generally, as much as anyone would like to admit, generally, everybody is miserable and if they aren't then somebody is bound to come along to solve that problem. But is that a weight problem? Idk, but I can count on one girl or another to complain to me about my weight if she isn't complaining about her own. But here I am, complaining about complainers finding all kinds of things to complain about.

This is written in my ironic book, but rest assured I'll edit it before final draft and blot out all y'alls' sin.

So, you can carry on, then.

Some might conclude here, "Now, I want a donut," but I hear that should rather be more fitting for me to say, "Now, I need a donut."

My husband sent me this skit of JP Sears today. I thought it was pretty funny. Seems like it'll fit this conversation thread.

"When your wife goes on a diet"

Just understand this one thing brother. We have tv, social media, magazines and music telling us we are flawed. It's a constant drumbeat. You weigh too much, your teeth aren't white enough, you sweat in the wrong places, you smell bad, your eyes aren't white enough (yes, it's on TV) your fingernails are yellow. Take a breath, your skin is too dry, its too crepey (whatever that means) your lips aren't kissable. Breath. Your hair is lifeless, gray, balding, frizzy, oily. You have acne, you have backne, you have Psoriasis. Can you understand why people are touchy? How about God made you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you're more than the sum of your parts. How can we reach a lost world when we are so self centered and self loathing? I honestly believe it's a trick of the devil. Let's encourage one another in the Lord. We hear enough negative, let's not make it worse.