How Does God Expose Our Own Hypocrisies to Our Own Selves?

Hey Everyone,

What are some of our blind spots of faith that God has to confront us about? Do we judge what others do, then do the same things ourselves? Do we criticize other people's kids, but catch ourselves doing the same thing in our own families? Are we quick to tell others what to do, but always find a way to excuse or never talk about ourselves?

I don't know about anyone else, but God pointed out one of my own glaring hypocrisies yesterday at church.

I usually attend a church with contemporary (modern) services, but since I was raised WELS Lutheran, I sometimes get a spiritual craving for those old hymns and style of service. Yesterday I went to the Lutheran church instead of my usual one, only to find there was no one in the parking lot -- except a homeless man sitting on a bench outside the doors.

And I have to tell you, I was immediately afraid. I live in an area in which you will find the homeless pretty much everywhere. There's even a rumor that the bigger cities handed out one-way bus tickets for their homeless to come to this area so they could be someone else's problem. Although I live in a "good (considered relatively safe if you're careful)" area, you do have to be mindful at all times. The homeless population is known for its issues with fentanyl, and it's said there are places the police just won't go because of how bad the problem is.

I felt torn by this, because I had originally planned to go into the church to ask what was going on, but with only a few cars in the back parking lot and no one but this homeless person in the front, I didn't get out of my car. I later found out that due to the summer season, the church service had been pushed back, so I went to run some errands and came back later.

Later on in church, I realized that this man was attending the service -- though he continuously got up to walk out, then came back, over and over again -- and I felt ashamed for being so judgmental.

One of my personal soap boxes is that I try very hard to reach out to people I've seen the church shun because they "don't meet the standards" of how someone "should" look in church. I myself am about as plain as a white sheet of paper. My church outfit is usually a polo shirt and khakis; my ears are only pierced once; I have no tattoos, no other piercings, have never smoked, am allergic to alcohol so I don't drink, and am extreme introvert who shuns parties.

But the people I am often longing to talk to the most are the exact opposite, with piercings and tattoos and wildly-colored hair. People with troubled lives and emotions, often stemming from parents who claimed to be Christians, but ran households steeped in conflict and abuse. I try my best to put in an effort to talk with such people in work situations and when going about my daily life, and I spent many years writing to and visiting prison inmates. I feel this is a strong part of my calling.

And here I was, judging this homeless person -- and I felt completely ashamed for doing so. I asked God to forgive me and to help me to do better. I wished I had my friend Amanda (not her real name) with me from back home, because she has a gift for talking to the homeless that I do not have.

After the service, I made my way through the crowd to try to say "Good Morning" to this man, but I'm not sure if he heard me. When he glanced my way, his eyes were going in different directions (I'm sure he wasn't all there mentally,) and he didn't look directly at me, nor did he answer. But soon after, another church member was talking to him and they seemed to be familiar with each other, so maybe this man comes to this church regularly, which I was happy to see.

Maybe next time I go, I'll try to find this church member and ask for some pointers about how to better treat the homeless with dignity.

I struggle with this because, as someone who was adopted and is well aware of what her life could have been if left to the streets, I feel a strong sense of duty to try to reach out to those who are "different" or seen as social outcasts.

But as a single woman, I also try to be hyper aware of my surroundings and ever vigilant about my safety, because the homeless here will approach you in almost every public setting asking for money.

I asked God to forgive me and show me how to get better at balancing wisdom and grace with proper action.

How about you?

* In what ways does God confront you about your blind spots?

* How do you react, and what do you pray for afterwards?

* How did you handle it the next time you were tested you in this area?

* Were you able to apply what you learned last time, or was it a repeat lesson?


I have been feeling completely convicted ever since yesterday and I greatly value hearing how other people work through these situations themselves.

Thank you for sharing!

That’s exactly how God teaches, He doesn’t shame us, but He reveals these blind spots so clearly, it leaves no room for excuses. I’ve had moments like that too, especially around people whose lifestyle or appearance immediately made me uncomfortable. And then God reminds me that He sees past all of that, and I should too.

Talking about hypocrisy in general... I know this one little green bird brain who is very vigilant about making sure people all around him share snacks, but he himself is very unwilling to share so much as a crumb.

About your specific example... I don't think there is a biblical line that can be drawn between personal defense and reaching out to people. Remember, the one who sent his disciples out defenseless is the same one who said, okay now it's time to buy a sword, no matter what you have to sell off to get it.

I will also mention the reason you stopped writing letters to prisoners...

Personally I also would have waited until there were other people around before talking to him. The only reason I would have spoken to him alone would be if God personally told me to, and God hasn't so I ain't.

I'm torn over this post because on one hand, you're giving really good advice.

On the other hand, you're insulting a really good friend of mine (whose siblings are featured in my avatar!)


On a serious note, thank you for sharing that you too would have waited until others were around to talk to this person. I'm taking that as a confirmation to always be aware and on high alert for my own safety.

Something I don't see addressed in the Christian community is that when singles are constantly told to serve and get involved in ministry, no one ever talks about the need to set firm boundaries and take measures to protect one's safety and privacy. Many singles will be prohibited from some ministry work because being alone puts them at greater risk.

Many years ago, I was part of a prayer team, and a woman who was about 10 years older became a bit fixated on me. She would come up to me for prayer every Sunday, and the next thing I knew, she was calling me in the middle of the night during the week, always talking about the same things on repeat.

I was young and although I felt slightly exasperated, thought it was just part of being a good, serving Christian to always listen to her. How could I see myself as "true" Christian if I wasn't there for someone in need?

Fortunately, one of the elders noticed this, so when she again approached me for prayer on Sunday, he gently directed her to him and his wife instead, and she left me alone after that.

These days, I'm very careful about not giving out too much personal information, and I won't participate in any kind of ministry or charity unless it's in a public place and within a group, with leaders I can go to for help if needed.

I was watching a true crime show and the episode was about this woman who goes to church and befriended one of the homeless who also attends that church. They became good buddies but they had only talked in church before. One day he asked her to drive him home for whatever reason, I forgot what and she did so purely trusting him up till then because he seemed so friendly, safe and a person interested in God.....

Well, once they reached his place, he subdued her - I forgot how, but the important fact is that HE SUBDUED HER - and then raped her for a long time. Somehow with the help of God, she escaped and called the police and now he's in jail.

So I want you to keep that in mind. Just because a homeless guy goes to your church means squat. Well, any guy you don't really know for a long time face to face and personally. Don't ever let anyone isolate you and put you in that situation. If they ask you to drive them to their home, REFUSE. You're a Christian, not a chauffeur and you don't owe anyone that. If they try to put a guilt trip on you, tell them they can ask some guys, not a woman. You're not obligated and should question why they're trying to put you through a guilt trip in the first place.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.....


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This is a gold-medal worthy post, helpful to not only me but others who are reading -- thank you!!!

I always think about this as well. I listen to shows like Forensic Files on a regular basis, and in so many cases, the perpetrator might not have even been thinking about committing a crime or wrongdoing -- but the door for an opportunity presented itself, and its pull was beyond what they could resist.

I myself fight with how much God can and will change a person in this lifetime. Can God change someone? Absolutely. But will it be completely, and while they're still here on earth? I would argue that's debatable. Some people just have to be kept away from other people, no matter how reformed they seem to be.

I might sound paranoid but to this day, I haven't taken an Uber or Lyft on my own (I did take them while waiting for car repairs, but the dealership was monitoring the start and finish of each ride.)

I have read too many stories about drivers who realized they had a lone woman in their car -- and their mind drifted to places it should have never been.

Thank you again for the emphasizing the importance of personal safety, even at the risk of being seen as "un-Christian" in the process.

seoulsearch said:

I might sound paranoid but to this day, I haven't taken an Uber or Lyft on my own (I did take them
while waiting for car repairs, but the dealership was monitoring the start and finish of each ride.)

Click to expand...

I have never taken an Uber or any other car service besides a taxi and I likely never will. Even knowing the person or being acquainted with someone who is a friend of someone you know or associate with on a rather regular basis is no assurance of safety in such situations as accepting a ride from them, or the reverse, and offering them a ride. I am reminded specifically of an incident in my youth. Some of you know that I used to hitch-hike a lot throughout my mid to later teens and into my early twenties. In my late teens I was at one job for nine months in the city beside my home town where I worked six days a week, and hitch-hiked home every day at three o'clock in the afternoon. One day a friend of my boss offered me a ride home, and I figured he was safe because he was after all a friend of my boss, and so I accepted his offer. Problem was he did not really want to drive me home, and he essentially told me that because he was engaged and not allowed in his culture to touch the one he was promised to, he was going to relieve himself with me. Or, let's just say he let it be known he planned to rape me. I did manage to foil his plans by getting out of a moving car and it was not the only time I did so. Anyways... taxis always arrive rather quickly, and it's been almost fifty years since I hitch-hiked, and do not recommend it for young women at all... or anyone, really. In the 90s we had one criminally perverted guy who enlisted the aid of his wife to pick up unsuspecting young women whom they would then kidnap, sexually assault and murder. Her sister was one of their victims. He was recently denied parole for the third time but his wife has been out of jail for quite some time now (20 years) and actually remarried (a brother of one of her lawyers).

THANK GOD you were able to get away unscathed!

I want to thank you all for these stories.

It's teaching me to better discern conviction vs. false guilt, which I'm guessing many have also struggled with.

There's a lot of that going around these days. I hear it's quite contagious especially up in the northwest.

I grew up in New York City. My friends and I since we were in junior high school had to go two towns over would periodically talk about safety strategies - seriously! Like these tips:

1. Always look like you'll fight back and give anyone a hard time - evil people usually want someone they can easily control - and be ready to do so AND scream and make a lot of noise to attract attention and run away very fast if you can.

2. Everyone has their "home" keys and you can make a weapon out of that - just stick the keys between your fingers and make a fist, punch them straight in the face of the culprit - side swiping might just hurt you instead.

3. Always try to walk in groups when you can and don't let anyone separate you out. When alone, walk fast but be aware of surroundings and always keep to the busy, well-lighted streets when you can. When in darker areas, pray to God!

I look back and even though I didn't know God until I was 17, I can see He was watching out for me so I'm always thanking Him for that. I got flashed at least once every year from when I was 11 to when I moved away at 20 - I don't know why He allowed that, but He protected me from anything harsher! (Maybe He knew it wouldn't hurt me in any bad way? Just turned me off more to perverts? They looked normal until they weren't! Maybe that was His way of saying be cautious?)

Anyway back to the topic of this thread, I did give my testimony about when I used to complain and how God delt with me about that through the use of a public bus. I always remembered that occasion because it was significant and funny. I didn't learn my lesson from it right away, but I remember it the most because it was the beginning of God's lesson to me not to complain!


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Especially as a woman i think it was best that you didn't approach him.
Some homeless people are just down on their luck, otherwise normal people.
But many are addicts, mentally ill or criminally minded. Or all three.
So for me it is actually wisdom that held you back from getting out alone with him.
Also, he may be there to get to know God, or maybe feels it's a good place to get things from people.
Hard to know people's hearts and intents, especially with the homeless.

I just wanted to emphasize how much I appreciate everyone's answers and honest replies.

I find the personal stories and experiences to be particularly helpful, because I don't think we are educated enough about safety when it comes to trying to minister to other people. I also appreciate others saying that they themselves would not have talked to this homeless person on their own, either.

The information you've shared here could very well save others -- thank you for having the courage and taking the time to post!