Do men dislike a woman with a higher salary?

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LilyLola said:
Hello everyone,

I'm an young woman and I'm single now. After my studies I found I job I really like (it's law related). My "problem" is that the salary is way above average for a normal starting salary, and I'm scared I'll meet a great man and then he wouldn't want to be with me because my salary is probably going to be higher than his and perhaps he thinks men should provide and be the primary income. (I don't have a problem being with a man who has a lower income btw)

Do a lot of guys view it like this and what do I do?
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Women traditionally date men with equal or higher salary, but you already know that. One thing you might consider is if you date a man who makes less, your fellow coworkers might think its strange. Or they might not. Anyway who cares what they think. Who cares what I think. Who cares what anyone thinks. Maybe we should all just stop thinking.
 
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Let me tell you about these rich women I seen in my city. They go out and have sex with construction workers, poor construction workers. These are their type of men, built, ruff, and butt hole personality. They will not tangle with anyone else. "Construction workers", I mean it literally, I worked there.
 
Brasspen said:
Let me tell you about these rich women I seen in my city. They go out and have sex with construction workers, poor construction workers. These are their type of men, built, ruff, and butt hole personality. They will not tangle with anyone else. "Construction workers", I mean it literally, I worked there.
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That is funny. First of all, construction workers are not necessairly poor. They work a job and pay their bills like everyone else.
Secondly, The women who are attracted to construction workers are not rich.

Rich women have more class. They have higher standards as a rule. That is how they got rich. The same goes for the men. Rich men for the most part worked harder and smarter.

For example, my daughter works hard at college. And, society will reward her for that hard work by paying her more money. And she is not into sweaty construction workers but men who are educated. And more power to her.

My other daughter is following the example of the first. She loves the Savior and works hard at being educated. I doubt that she will settle for a construction worker either.

And to top it off, I am a construction worker. My wife was wise to marry me. Because, I have given her smart daughters.
 
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Construction is very constructive.

No shade on the legal profession though. I know some lawyers are... shady.....but there are some good ones! I don't think I could marry a lawyer though. I don't know, never dated one. I guess it takes one to know one.
 
zeroturbulence said:
Women traditionally date men with equal or higher salary, but you already know that. One thing you might consider is if you date a man who makes less, your fellow coworkers might think its strange. Or they might not. Anyway who cares what they think. Who cares what I think. Who cares what anyone thinks. Maybe we should all just stop thinking.
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Nobody cares what I think, except for me.
We can't really know what God thinks as His thoughts are higher than ours. But we can have the mind of Christ....or not.

It's not so much how big or high your salary is but what you spend it on or choose to do with it. What was the parable of the talents again.
Or the one about having tenfold, fiftyfold, hundredfold. Everyone is given a measure of faith, and I suppose a salary and if you given more you have more responsibility. But if you given less you make do with the little you have, God will honor that and see however little or much you give

Sorry am rambling...you can have a beer budget and champagne tastes..or a champagne budget and beer taste...people tend to find their own level, its just the way society/living is arranged, All the houses of a certain age, build and value are in one suburb, and then there's ones in another, and people don't tend to socialise outside their region depending on income and tax bracket. It's all worked out because it used to be state/public schools worked out their budget they got from the govt (in NZ) from which decile they fell into. Decile 1 was the poorest and Decile 10 was the richest. If you took a poor child and placed them in a decile 10 school they would have a lot of challenges, and probably there would be a different set of challenges in reverse.

But now they done away with that I don't know whats happening nowadays. Its really....all to do with house and land property prices apparently. Location location location

Yea something to consider if you want to start a family...where are they gonna go to SCHOOL? Or will you just stay home and school them so their classmates are all relatives.
 
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Lanolin said:
Nobody cares what I think, except for me.
We can't really know what God thinks as His thoughts are higher than ours. But we can have the mind of Christ....or not.

It's not so much how big or high your salary is but what you spend it on or choose to do with it. What was the parable of the talents again.
Or the one about having tenfold, fiftyfold, hundredfold. Everyone is given a measure of faith, and I suppose a salary and if you given more you have more responsibility. But if you given less you make do with the little you have, God will honor that and see however little or much you give

Sorry am rambling...you can have a beer budget and champagne tastes..or a champagne budget and beer taste...people tend to find their own level, its just the way society/living is arranged, All the houses of a certain age, build and value are in one suburb, and then there's ones in another, and people don't tend to socialise outside their region depending on income and tax bracket. It's all worked out because it used to be state/public schools worked out their budget they got from the govt (in NZ) from which decile they fell into. Decile 1 was the poorest and Decile 10 was the richest. If you took a poor child and placed them in a decile 10 school they would have a lot of challenges, and probably there would be a different set of challenges in reverse.

But now they done away with that I don't know whats happening nowadays. Its really....all to do with house and land property prices apparently. Location location location

Yea something to consider if you want to start a family...where are they gonna go to SCHOOL? Or will you just stay home and school them so their classmates are all relatives.
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Wow they actually have different levels of schools according to the family's level of income? That's crazy. I mean out here there are private schools that are very expensive but they probably accept anyone who can pay for it, and then there are public schools paid through taxes which are just supposed to be the same level and free for everyone. But of course some public schools are better, but that's not by design.
 
zeroturbulence said:
Wow they actually have different levels of schools according to the family's level of income? That's crazy. I mean out here there are private schools that are very expensive but they probably accept anyone who can pay for it, and then there are public schools paid through taxes which are just supposed to be the same level and free for everyone. But of course some public schools are better, but that's not by design.
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the private schools will not accept just anyone. They reject people because of quality.
 
Thought of this thread when listening to this post on X. Women making more money than the man is a predictor of divorce. GROK

https://twitter.com/x/status/2069440899944161380
Rich Cooper, a men's dating advisor focused on "unplugging from society's lies," endorses a TikTok video rant titled "Dating women in your 50s" from praising it as accurate.

The video features a man candidly describing challenges like emotional baggage from prior marriages, high pickiness, and physical changes such as feeling "mushy," drawing agreement from many male replies sharing similar experiences.

Replies reflect polarized views in online dating discussions, with men citing trauma carryover and low compatibility, while some women counter that the complaints stem from the poster's own issues or unrealistic expectations.
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Key Evidence from Research
  • University of Chicago study (often cited): Divorce rates rise by about 50% when the wife earns more than the husband, particularly among younger couples. This aligns with traditional expectations where husbands are primary providers.
    attorneyatlawmagazine.com

  • Institute for Family Studies (2023 analysis of U.S. data): Couples where the wife earns more have notably higher divorce probabilities. For recent marriage cohorts, the chance of divorce was ~8.4% when the wife outearned the husband, versus ~2.9% when the husband earned substantially more (e.g., $38k+ more per year). Husbands with much higher incomes had the lowest divorce risk, and this pattern has held since the 1990s.
    ifstudies.org

  • U.S. data from Divorce.com/Fortune (recent): In dual-income households, the divorce rate is ~31 per 1,000 when the wife is the main earner, vs. ~11 per 1,000 when the husband is. Female breadwinners (16% of households) account for a disproportionate share of divorces (~42%). In single-income female-breadwinner homes, it's even higher (~54 per 1,000).
 
LilyLola said:
Hello everyone,

I'm an young woman and I'm single now. After my studies I found I job I really like (it's law related). My "problem" is that the salary is way above average for a normal starting salary, and I'm scared I'll meet a great man and then he wouldn't want to be with me because my salary is probably going to be higher than his and perhaps he thinks men should provide and be the primary income. (I don't have a problem being with a man who has a lower income btw)

Do a lot of guys view it like this and what do I do?
Click to expand...

Some (maybe many) men might have a problem with that if they're not secure in themselves. Such a man wouldn't make the best husband.

I am one who believes it is best if one parent is available full time for the children if there are children from the union. I was the bread winner and I raised our children. Being available for the children was a wonderful blessing for me, and I hope, for them too.
 
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zeroturbulence said:
I don't know where you are but I know kids who went to expensive private schools and they don't come from rich families.
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Case in point, my nephew has a friend who was just accepted into Princeton with a sizable scholarship,

And they are a middle-class family without prestige or wealth.
 
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Scholarships being the exception and a way for richer schools to have diversity and more people (and thus more funding)

I think ideally everyone is one the same playing field, but in reality that's not the case. And as time goes on, the gap between rich and poor is widening, and the middle class are being squeezed out.

Being a scholarship student is not easy. You are going to have a rough time of it in school because you'll be looked down on and resented because you got in (even if you got high marks and deserve to be there) people might just see you as a DEI or token and you get treated like one.

Not the case for EVERYONE but even with a scholarship its gonna be expensive while the expenses for a richer family are because of prestige. There's all sorts of college admission scandals where the parents just buy their way for their children to go into the almar mater even when they are not the best student but if they can donate a good deal of money to the school they get treated better as the school doesn't want to lose someone who's just donated a huge amount of money,...and their children can just coast by and don't have to study that hard.

Schools are run like businesses here in NZ, more like private enterprises, even the public ones if they are not funded as much by the government (like maybe the catholic ones) the money has to come from somewhere.
 
I remember one of my friends/classmate at high school, her parents were both doctors, and everyone asked her what she was doing at our public high school. Didn't her parents earn enough to send her to a posh private school? They could have, but didn't.

She got ragged for it.
She was very smart and but she was also, a bit snobby I'm not sure why she was friends with me as I didn't care about things like that, she was always going on overseas trips and buying the latest fashions, while I barely had any clothes that were not hand-me downs and my family never had a holiday, much less overseas.

She as a bit insecure in herself and I wonder what she's doing now, but I think she'd be a success in whatever she does in life because her parents were able to support her in ways poorer parents couldn't.

I mean thats just one girl that I knew..but I do remember that she was a bit set apart from everyone else.
 
I probably should have specified that I meant private high school. Out here all colleges and universities are expensive unless it's community college. Although there are some super expensive universities and colleges like Harvard, but I was only talking about high school. People have a CHOICE to go to college/uni, but high school is part of regular schooling.
 
zeroturbulence said:
I probably should have specified that I meant private high school. Out here all colleges and universities are expensive unless it's community college. Although there are some super expensive universities and colleges like Harvard, but I was only talking about high school.
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My daughter is paying about $25,000 per year at a state university. She recently graduated so she has $100, 000 into it. That includes staying in the dorms.
 
I cannot speak for all women, only for myself and my experiences.

When I meet men, the initial interaction usually goes well. I have always been a bubbly, outgoing person, and conversation tends to come naturally. They ask what I do for a living, and when I tell them, everything seems fine. Then they ask what I do outside of work, and I mention that I run a nonprofit that serves at-risk youth. They usually seem impressed and interested.

The shift often comes when they ask about my education or some of the things I have accomplished. It is difficult to explain, but sometimes you can almost see the light go out in their eyes. I used to assume I was imagining it or that I was somehow doing something wrong.

One experience really stood out to me. A friend was with me when a man approached me, asked for my number, and even walked me to my car. When he saw my car and noticed my alumni tag, his entire demeanor changed. He immediately started putting himself down and comparing himself to me. My friend witnessed the whole thing and later pointed out what had happened.

Because of experiences like that, I have tried avoiding certain topics, but I am not sure how you genuinely get to know someone without discussing basic parts of your life. At some point, people naturally ask about your work, interests, education, and what you have been doing for the past twenty years.

One man whom I considered very successful and confident, with a high-paying career, once asked me, "Why would you want to be with an old, broken-down person like me?" I was genuinely shocked by the question because that is not how I viewed him at all.

I have always considered myself a humble person. I was raised in a Christian home where humility was valued, and if pride ever started creeping in, your family quickly helped you find your footing again. I do not go around bragging about my accomplishments, and I have never chosen people based on looks, status, or money. Those things can disappear in an instant. What matters to me is character, faith, kindness, integrity, and how a person treats others.

That is why I find these reactions confusing. I am not looking down on anyone, yet some men seem to assume that I am judging them before I have even formed an opinion. I do not fully understand why, but it has been a recurring experience in my life.
 
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BelovedByGrace said:
I cannot speak for all women, only for myself and my experiences.

When I meet men, the initial interaction usually goes well. I have always been a bubbly, outgoing person, and conversation tends to come naturally. They ask what I do for a living, and when I tell them, everything seems fine. Then they ask what I do outside of work, and I mention that I run a nonprofit that serves at-risk youth. They usually seem impressed and interested.

The shift often comes when they ask about my education or some of the things I have accomplished. It is difficult to explain, but sometimes you can almost see the light go out in their eyes. I used to assume I was imagining it or that I was somehow doing something wrong.

One experience really stood out to me. A friend was with me when a man approached me, asked for my number, and even walked me to my car. When he saw my car and noticed my alumni tag, his entire demeanor changed. He immediately started putting himself down and comparing himself to me. My friend witnessed the whole thing and later pointed out what had happened.

Because of experiences like that, I have tried avoiding certain topics, but I am not sure how you genuinely get to know someone without discussing basic parts of your life. At some point, people naturally ask about your work, interests, education, and what you have been doing for the past twenty years.

One man whom I considered very successful and confident, with a high-paying career, once asked me, "Why would you want to be with an old, broken-down person like me?" I was genuinely shocked by the question because that is not how I viewed him at all.

I have always considered myself a humble person. I was raised in a Christian home where humility was valued, and if pride ever started creeping in, your family quickly helped you find your footing again. I do not go around bragging about my accomplishments, and I have never chosen people based on looks, status, or money. Those things can disappear in an instant. What matters to me is character, faith, kindness, integrity, and how a person treats others.

That is why I find these reactions confusing. I am not looking down on anyone, yet some men seem to assume that I am judging them before I have even formed an opinion. I do not fully understand why, but it has been a recurring experience in my life.
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Your recurring experience is good for you. And I do not know if there is a MR. right. But there is a certain kind of person that is right. And that is the target.

I have had to be a little rude to the guys chasing my daughter. And now she is catching on. And I felt really bad. Especially when she quit talking to me, and her mother cried. I was a bad dad. And no amount of apologizing helped.

But now she had ended it with two or three others, and I am proud of her for that. Shut these guys down! You are looking for something, and I do not know what. But do not settle for less. You are in charge of this dating thing, not the guy. And she got a 3.99 GPA. All A's since the 8th grade and two A minuses in college.

Don't take any crap from these guys. I know. I am a guy that was shut down by some great women. I learned. Life is that way.
So stay strong. You are better than the men. And there are many who are right, you just have to come accross one of those.
 
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Huh
University is out of reach for many people they wouldn't have even considered it, or got a loan for it.
I graduated, got letters after my name, but never use them.
University here isn't as prestigious as people think it is. Seven universities in my country, all seems as good as each other. I've got credits in three of them, and one in Singapore. Not bragging thats just my education as was expected of me.
I don't even talk about it much to others as they don't care to ask.

Maybe it does depend on how old you are too. If there's a big age gap?

In my case if you were smart in public school and got top marks everyone hated you. Or were jealous. It was more important to be good at sport.
'The brainy class' was not a badge of honor. It doesn't pay to be precocious. All the gifted and talented kids burnt out. I kinda think I was put in there not because I was clever, but because I was dumb and had to label me as 'special' as a way of saying 'huh she's different'.

It's the opposite in private school. I worked in one, all academic, nerds were celebrated. Sport was just a past-time, not a competitive championship with high stakes. Oh but the bragging - the kids bragged about how much their parents earned, what car they drove, how many holidays they had...there was always this one-up manship. Amongst both girls and boys. I overheard their conversations (my bad)
 
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Lanolin said:
Huh
University is out of reach for many people they wouldn't have even considered it, or got a loan for it.
I graduated, got letters after my name, but never use them.
University here isn't as prestigious as people think it is. Seven universities in my country, all seems as good as each other. I've got credits in three of them, and one in Singapore. Not bragging thats just my education as was expected of me.
I don't even talk about it much to others as they don't care to ask.

Maybe it does depend on how old you are too. If there's a big age gap?

In my case if you were smart in public school and got top marks everyone hated you. Or were jealous. It was more important to be good at sport.
'The brainy class' was not a badge of honor. It doesn't pay to be precocious. All the gifted and talented kids burnt out. I kinda think I was put in there not because I was clever, but because I was dumb and had to label me as 'special' as a way of saying 'huh she's different'.

It's the opposite in private school. I worked in one, all academic, nerds were celebrated. Sport was just a past-time, not a competitive championship with high stakes. Oh but the bragging - the kids bragged about how much their parents earned, what car they drove, how many holidays they had...there was always this one-up manship. Amongst both girls and boys. I overheard their conversations (my bad)
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One of the doctors clubs gave some money to my daughter. And she was invited to their anual dinner. I and my wife and other daughter went and ate their food. It was a formal affiar and I wore blue jeans. i don't care. They have their circle and I have mine. Of which by the way includes my very smart daughters. So I ate their food and did not care what they thought about it. And she knows how I think about things like this. I am not impressed by money. Most of the homes I work in are worth millions and the owners treat me as an equal. So I rub shoulders with the wealthy. And I do not care. However, interestly, they are great people. The worst people are those hanging out on the street willing to steal you blind. Over the years I have hired several and they do not want anything but a fix of booz or money for drugs.

There is an occasional person who really needs help. On an off ramp a few months ago a woman held a sign that said "out of gas, need help." So I gave her some cash. But we all work to survive and get to see how we will follow Jesus Christ. Some love others, and some do not. Our goal is to be good to one another. To love others as we would have Jesus love us. And in the process be wise as serpents to not be taken advantage of by those who follow Lucifer.
 
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