I’m 18, I’m a guy, single, looking for a woman of God. I want to get married young and be a dad. I think there’s a big difference in this: many people want to have a wife and kids. I want to be one of the men who want to be a husband and a dad. Presence is different, and I want someone who will respect me for who I am.
Why? I would advise waiting a few years until you have a stable job, your own place, and something to offer to a prospective wife.
Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
I'm in agreement that normally waiting for marriage and kids can be wise, because being impulsive can result in a love-less relationship later in life or set future children up for a broken home. However, with God present, with God being part of the picture, He can protect a family.
Anyone who wants a relationship, or wants to find a girlfriend/boyfriend, is fine to put up a dating profile in a suitable online community and begin their search for a long-term romance. Not all youthful relationships need to feel discouraged, its good if a young person wants to seek a God-Honoring relationship, not a short-fling.
For Christians... Looking for a spouse while young is just a first step and can coexist with other phases of life, and can even help young Christians learn how to balance relationships and life responsibilities early on. Depending on the people and situations, going through the stages of looking, meeting, dating, developing love, having an enjoyable engagement, etc, can take as equally long as gaining a solid income, but one is not more important than the other. Building a good relationship has to start somewhere and God can be the one to set the pace if both people trust God’s Will stronger than their own desires. God's Will can move quickly or slow and steady, but He will bless the faithful.
A problem can be when there's a young family, or even a single person, who starts off with God but then later God doesn't remain a priority. Then it doesn't matter if there's a family or a person going through life solo, when God's Will is less lived and other human-wants or distractions are deemed fine, while God is given excuses and sin is held without much care, then authentic faith and commitment to God can become a silent struggle. (Those who struggle with their faith should seek bible studies on "The Armor Of God".)
Here are several perspectives for thoughts on young relationships….
+ Some people want to build life together, not build life alone and then add a spouse in later.
+ Some Christians value relationships more than anything else. Companionship is what anyone can bring to a relationship regardless of age or career choice. And in today's modern society, companionship is more valuable than ever before.
+ There have been countless numbers of Christian couples who married and had kids before life was in perfect harmony, and those kids still had love while the parents made priceless, precious, memories together with their children, even through hardships. Hardships might seem unfair for the children, but so long as God remains a family's foundation and focus, He will be with them.
+ Some couples have managed to fulfill their plans for stability and marriage before children, but by the time kids had come into the picture the couples were getting older, and they felt regrets of missing out. Of course not all couples who postponed kids have regrets, but some who like to be very involved with the activities of their children admitted they wished they had their children when they themselves were younger, since more youthful parents are able to interact with activities to a greater extent.
Stability is still better
Stability is of course healthier for anyone and everyone. Young, single, married, career driven, family oriented, any path of life is better with stability. Stability with a job, faith, self-control over temperaments, teamwork that creates household structure, etc. Anyone who has their health and anyone who has stability, has been greatly blessed.
Regardless of Age...
+ Money is a necessity for providing for the family, but relationships are what we were created for. A carefully maintained balance of both finances and relationships is ideal - But we don't live in an ideal world.
+ Learning how to have a career and maintain relationships simultaneously can be good for young people before they are too set in their ways of solo-life habits, but people who are older can be more mature, have wisdom with age, and be more grounded which can make for a more reliable spouse depending on the individual.
+ Regardless if a family is young or old, wealthy or poor, it's not easy trying to uphold balance, often out-side help is needed. If families don’t know how to find assistance, or healthy christian-based help, or if they are too stubborn to seek help, tension and unfriendliness can build within a family until something breaks or commitment to God can fizzle out.
Broad-Spectrum Advise
No matter how young or old, balance is very important, but can be difficult to grasp in any stage of life.
If anyone wants to be family oriented, they can listen in on Christian radio programs or media found online such as "Moody Bible", "Focus On The Family", "Insight for Living", the old series "Precepts for Life", or Christian podcasts that focus on bible verses, or find Christian books with family topics. Maybe even seek "Christian Life Coaches" who can help teach more awareness about how to be a better person, or prepare for life with a spouse, or share their thoughts for hypothetical futures of dealing with children who become teens.
There’s a lot that goes into the details of a family, but at least there are resources to explore and learn from. There are thankfully many topics to learn how to balance time, money-management, and maintain God loving-relationships.
I hope anyone who feels a passion for God, is blessed with their hopes, dreams, and finds days filled with love.
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that makes tough understanding
