~Chuckle for the Day~

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Two old men are sitting in a bar.

One of them looks at the other & says

“You look familiar… where you from?”

The second old man replies “Ireland”

The first old man looks astonished & says

” No way I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world!”

The second old man then looks at the first “What city?”

The first old man says “Dublin?”

The second old man looks astonished

“No way I’m from Dublin myself! What a small world.”

The first man looks at the second old man “What school you go to?”

The second old man replies

“Saint Mary’s class of 89”

The first old man is absolutely baffled

” NO WAY Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!”

At this point, another man comes into the bar & says to the bartender

“Hey, Joe! Anything interesting going on?”

The bartender says

“Not really… but the Murphy twins are drunk again.” 🤣🤣



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(copied from the World Wide Web)
 
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**When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peters at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said “welcome, Forest. We’ve heard a lot about you. “he continued, Unfortunately, it getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in.” “okay, said Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. I’ve already been through a test. My momma used to say, “Life is like a final exam.

It’s hard.” “Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are.” 1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?” 2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God’s first name? “Well, sir,” said Forest, “The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Today and Tomorrow.” St. Peter looked surprised and said, “Well, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.”

“The next question, said Forest, “How many seconds are in a year? Twelve.” “Twelve?” said St Peter, surprised and confused. “Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …” St. Peter interrupted him. “I see what you mean. I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.”

“And the last question,” said Forest, “What is God first name? It Andy.” “Andy?” said St. Peter, in shock. “How did you come up with ‘Andy’?” “I learned it in church. We used to sing about it.” Forest broke into song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own.” St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said “Run, Forest, Run!”
(copied from the World Wide Web)
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Kojikun said:
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Reminds me of Representative AOC, who once said Elon Musk could research ways to stop global warming by studying the sun. When asked how he could avoid those ships being insinerated by solar energy,she said he'd just have to send them at night. 🤣
That's supposedly a urban myth,but with her it's quite possible she said something similar.😆
 
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Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes.🧑‍🔧🩺🏥

Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car.

Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an' me is doing basically da same work?"

Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic. "Try doing it with the engine running."

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Time for a true story:

My grand daughter Savanah

Not the brightest bulb in the world

Had three pet rats

She lives in a mobile home park

Day came her favorite pet rat died

She wans't really interested with the other two

She told me she got rid of them

I said how?

Well, she said I couldn't kill them so I let them loose in the mobile home park!!
 
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,

😊




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Bingo said:
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,

😊




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True story.

A family,I think they were in the farm country of Pennsylvania or New Jersey, wanted to excavate the dirt floor of their old,but still in great shape,barn, and pour a cement floor.

They got numerous bids for the job. Just the excavation was a fortune. Forget the concrete price.

So,one day a friend of theirs used a burner phone out of State.
They called the FBI with a tip on where to find the body of the long missing New Jersey Union Boss, Jimmy Hoffa.

Whadda ya know,that location was the barn.

FBI shows up with warrants,an excavation crew,crime lab vans,you name it.
Days later,the whole floor of that barn was dug up and cleared out. The soil loaded in dump trucks.

No Jimmy.

The next month,the floor was poured.
 
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