Being "nice"

The origin of "nice" is to be without thought.

In the 1950s and even early 1960s people would get into fistfights over religion and politics. This was not noble, but did reflect a time when what one thought of as true and right was most important.

Today this sort of world seems alien because the the greatest crime one can do is to make someone feel bad, If I can convince you that you are responsible for how I feel, I can manipulate you into if not compliance, at least acquiescence.

This is a very effective technique that Satan uses. It even worked on Peter;

Gal 2:11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.
Gal 2:12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision.

A Christian is to be kind and loving to all people when dealing with people.

But they are to be bold when preaching the word of God and standing up for truth without worrying about hurting their feelings for it is the ways of God.

Not physically or verbally abusive according to the flesh but bold in God's ways.

The world may say it is not nice when we boldly claim what God said concerning the scriptures not liking us telling them their condition.

But world like to hear things their way.

Like people say do not judge me acting as if you are mean for pointing out their bad behavior but if it is from God's viewpoint then it is good.

Jude 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference.

23 And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

Our dealing with them will depend on their dealing with the truth.

John 7:32 The Pharisees heard that the people murmured such things concerning him; and the Pharisees and the chief priests sent officers to take him.

45 Then came the officers to the chief priests and Pharisees; and they said unto them, Why have ye not brought him?

Jesus spoke so boldly to the officers that He cast doubt in their mind and they said we better leave this man alone for if He is speaking the truth we do not want to be going against God.

1 Corinthians 4:21 What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?

Galatians 2:11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.

Speaking God's word often brings pushback because biblical truth directly confronts human pride, personal desires, and shifting cultural standards.

People often feel personally judged or convicted by Scripture, leading them to reject or attack the messenger rather than face the truth.

If it is from our point of view according to the flesh it is not right but if according to God's ways what He said then it is alright to confront them even if bold and firm.

They may say you are judgemental and mean but it is from God and we are not being sarcastic, mean, belittling, from the flesh.

If we say to the LGBTQ community that their ways are wrong they will say you are judgemental, not tolerant, and not loving, because it goes against their ways that they believe is not wrong.

So you are not nice but mean although you are being nice to help them out of their deception to turn them to prosperity.

Imitating Jesus?
Well they killed him for telling the truth too much....but He had over 200 people that loved him unto death. Would never betray him or say a bad word about him.

If you find yourself without any friends.....then you are just being a jerk and not really doing as Jesus did.

But theres a thing....and Jesus charged the Grammitons, Pharisees, and Sadducees with a very specific crime.
"You who kill your own prophets"
The spirit of that charge is of course true today in Christian circles.

That's one charge which is begging for judgment from God. (Jesus is God)

In Jesus's day....theres a reality to it as well.
And Jesus, where popular, was never going to win the coveted "Rabbi of the year" award for his language alone....the picking of theological battles in the Temple during Hanukkah (I am the light of the world) was the main reason....He was always hostile towards the religious leadership.....

But then....super kind to those "rejects of society" and always made time for them and ANYONE who recognized Jesus as not just a Rabbi or a Prophet but as the Messiah. Which they did in a variety of fashions...."Seed of David" is what Bartemaus called Jesus....(a Messiah reference)
Mary and Martha crying about Jesus taking too long and Lazarus their father dying....saying they had faith but not really anything else.
The slightest bit of implied faith or hope and Jesus moved heaven and earth for them.
So what was it that made Jesus deliberately annoying?
Two things.
Abuse and destroying hope. That would instantly get his ire all the way to the surface. There is no worse thing than to be in the hands of an angry God. Abusers have no hope when God gets a hold of them. So....always be careful about being in positions of authority over another person...including romantic relationships, parent/child, supervisor or wherever you hold something someone else wants or needs.

Yes, in so many ways, Jesus is our buddy and friend....but make no mistake. He is God. Omniscient and omnipotent. You can't pull a fast one on Him.

He gave us two rules....hard and fast ones. Do or die never stop doing these two rules:
Love God with ALL that is within you.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
(Meaning you have to know what your neighbor likes as well as what you know you like)
If your neighbor hates bananas but you don't know that....and you keep offering banana flavored everything....NOT GOOD....even if you mean well you are harassing them possibly worse.

But that doesn't mean that you offer a drunk an alcoholic drink either. Do not assist an evil man in doing evil.

Season our language with grace....like salt is good....grace is good too.

One last thing....
A friend of mine....she made bundt cakes every Saturday night to bring to our Singles SS class Sunday morning. "To be nice". She made every flavor under the rainbow too. (Burp...tasty)

Now she was a plus sized busty girl but she had a huge strawberry covering half of her entire body. Yes, plastic surgery can fix it but it's expensive and she was of modest means....always was and always would be. But she dressed nice enough and was somewhat brash and uneducated....but fun.
Then there was this highly educated lady, she was always dressed perfectly, always said exactly the perfect thing, and absolutely Barbie style gorgeous but kind or nice? Never....that was never her.

Yes, she could cook and bake too....she just didn't.

Guess who got the kitchen-aid mixer as a wedding present from her groom and who is still single today?

Not saying you have to be a pushover or a doormat. But flies and honey.....

Delvianna said:

I wanted to bring up this topic because I've noticed that in today's day and age, people tend to push this 1 idea that every Christian is supposed to just be sugary nice. If you aren't nice, they say "that's not being loving as scripture tells us to be". But "nice" is subjective as literally anyone can get offended for any reason and say you aren't "nice". But if not being "nice" is a sin, then that pulls into question Christ's behavior.

1) He publicly called religious leaders hypocrites, fools, blind guides, snakes and whitewashed tombs.
2) He overturned tables and drove merchants out of the temple.
3) He called Peter Satan.
4) He called Herod a fox.
5) He told people their father was the Devil.
6) He told His disciples they were faithless and spiritually dull.
7) He confronted the Pharisees despite knowing they were offended.
8) He told a possible follower to let the dead bury their dead when asked permission to bury their father first before following Him.

There's a lot more but those are a few examples. People tend to argue "but that's God! He's allowed to do those things!" Yeah, and we are supposed to imitate God. I'm not saying that it condones going around and treating people poorly, but context says in situations and circumstances, just because someone isn't sugary sweet, doesn't mean automatically they're being un-Christian.

Be angry, but don't sin. You can be direct or even blunt! It doesn't make you less of a Christian for doing so. Again, otherwise God is teaching a double standard and that's not the case.

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To serve the truth is never wrong.

Delvianna said:

I wanted to bring up this topic because I've noticed that in today's day and age, people tend to push this 1 idea that every Christian is supposed to just be sugary nice. If you aren't nice, they say "that's not being loving as scripture tells us to be". But "nice" is subjective as literally anyone can get offended for any reason and say you aren't "nice". But if not being "nice" is a sin, then that pulls into question Christ's behavior.

1) He publicly called religious leaders hypocrites, fools, blind guides, snakes and whitewashed tombs.
2) He overturned tables and drove merchants out of the temple.
3) He called Peter Satan.
4) He called Herod a fox.
5) He told people their father was the Devil.
6) He told His disciples they were faithless and spiritually dull.
7) He confronted the Pharisees despite knowing they were offended.
8) He told a possible follower to let the dead bury their dead when asked permission to bury their father first before following Him.

There's a lot more but those are a few examples. People tend to argue "but that's God! He's allowed to do those things!" Yeah, and we are supposed to imitate God. I'm not saying that it condones going around and treating people poorly, but context says in situations and circumstances, just because someone isn't sugary sweet, doesn't mean automatically they're being un-Christian.

Be angry, but don't sin. You can be direct or even blunt! It doesn't make you less of a Christian for doing so. Again, otherwise God is teaching a double standard and that's not the case.

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Christians are called to be loving, not nice. Love can sometimes be very harsh and hard. It might be nice to give an alcoholic a bottle of whiskey, but it is not loving to do so. Love tells the alcoholic to either get sober or live with the nasty consequences of their choices.

Politeness is social courtesy (i.e niceties, being nice). Also in many cultures, esp Asian which is not necessarily Christian behavior, 'saving face' is a thing. But it can be taken to extremes (i.e lying) so as not to embarass or humiliate others.

Graciousness is often confused with being nice
Kindness is a genuine fruit of the Holy Spirit, as is Goodness and Gentleness. (and all the others)

God gives Grace to the humble, not the proud

I've known a few sarcastic Christians.. who are NOT NICE. Some can be downright hostile, rude and cantankerous lol

Delvianna said:

I agree with your responses, but like I was saying, context matters. My main point is like, there seems to be this push that you can't be blunt, can't be direct, because then automatically, you aren't being "Christian".

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Well, like I said "Miranda" (name changed to protect the innocent) was rather brash and uneducated on numerous occasions. Meaning she was NOT born with a silver spoon or silver tongue. LOL. She was a country girl from Kentucky. Gets kinda rough in the country there.....she can tell you where you can get off and how to take your horse you rode in on as well.

But...if you did not give her grief over anything....she was very nice. I NEVER had a problem with her and she took good natured teasing well enough in our circle....unlike "Barbie"....she couldn't take any teasing of any sort for any reason.

Now....big part i noticed of all of this is that I too graduated out of our Singles group by marrying a woman that had a resume very similar to "Barbie". Almost identical. (I Always had a penchant for the smart girls)
And where Barbie knew she wanted nothing to do with me in that way...it set her up for a bout of depression and confusion that lasted for years....because she literally could not figure out how she could not get the relationships....or even the occasional dates.

And it only got worse as time flew by. Even the young lady who got so nervous when she found out a guy liked her that she literally couldn't talk....she got married to a great guy and they were trying for kids. (Something she REALLY wanted) ever her twin brother got married and was giving her nieces and nephew. But she could not figure out she herself crushed EVERY potential relationship before it even got started.

Today, a pretty girl MIGHT turn a guy's head....maybe. but to hold his attention you better have some substance.

I think it's sort of expected of good Christian girls/women to be 'nice' moreso than boys/men.

Also somewhat of a doormat. Instead of being asked to jump and saying 'how high?' many are meant to lie down and have everybody just walk all over them. No fighting back, turning the other cheek etc.

As for sugary sweet? (sugar and spice and all things nice..as little girls are supposed to be in the nursery rhyme) not sure about that.
Too much sugar gives you diabetes.

The Bible also warns against too much honey and also kisses from an enemy (Judas anyone?) and says charm is deceitful in Proverbs 31.

I have got into video games. I make no apologies for liking Hello Kitty Island Adventure.
I don't do baking like Hello Kitty does and don't always wear pink.

Badtz is funny though, he's into comics and I like comics.

Delvianna said:

Never played it but over the years I've limited how much time I'm on games. They're also just not like they used to be. Just a bunch of rehash ideas with new graphics.

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Pacman?

Tetris.

All video games are just variations of the original Pacman

As are our emojis

Many people act as though "nice" is required behaviour of Christians... but they will define it however they choose at the time. The truth is that "nice" is not a fruit of the Spirit.

I have also noticed that people who call others out for not being "nice" are often themselves distinctly not nice. It's hypocrisy and, like another poster mentioned, emotional manipulation.