Brother bother.

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Dec 26, 2017
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#1
Hi and thanks for your time.
Im new here and you will be hearing quite a lot from me on this prayer thread lol. Since me kids have all left home I now ha e a spere room. Or should I say did. About 2 and a half years ago my brother got himself into some financial difficulty through drugs and other unrighteous living. He was depressed and in trouble so I obviously stepped in to help out. He came to stay with me. In the months that followed he got himself straightened out a bit . He now earns good money and usually works hard. Although not in my house he still continues with his old lifestyle. I knew a long while ago that it was time for him to move on. The problem is , he still has a fragile state of mind. He is a stubborn man. He has a loving, loyal nature and confesses to be saved. If I bring up the situation that I need my space again he would move out and sleep in his van and if I don’t he will continue in the same habits. I know the time for change has come but whatever way it will be uncomfortable. As a Christian I should be grateful that I am the brother with the extra room but as a man I’m struggling to think his cheap life with me is enabling him his bad life choices. I love him and would never see him homeless but it is steeling my peace.
Prayers and Godly council please.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#2
Hello Chris. You say your brother is working, but living inexpensively with you. Does this mean you do not expect him to help with the household bills by paying his own way? At the very least, if he is not already, he should be paying you rent, or room and board. Otherwise, sad to say, you are enabling him by allowing him to have so much extra money to squander on his addictions/profligate lifestyle. Prayers for you, and him.
 
Dec 26, 2017
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#3
Hello Chris. You say your brother is working, but living inexpensively with you. Does this mean you do not expect him to help with the household bills by paying his own way? At the very least, if he is not already, he should be paying you rent, or room and board. Otherwise, sad to say, you are enabling him by allowing him to have so much extra money to squander on his addictions/profligate lifestyle. Prayers for you, and him.
He does pay me rent but not very much really. When he first came , his situation was different so I would only take a little. Slowly his position improved but we haven’t spoke of raising it since. Thanks for the prayers. It would seem I am afraid to confront him. I’m really not. I just know him well enough to know if he felt unwelcome he would up and leave. I need God to set him free to live an independent life. For his sake and mine. Thanks again.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
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#4
. I need God to set him free to live an independent life.
I wonder if maybe God is thinking "I need Chris to set him free to live an independent life."

?
 

Waggles

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2017
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South Australia
adelaiderevival.com
#5
Some verses that may help you with wisdom about your brother ...

The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him
that followeth after righteousness.
Proverbs 15:9
Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him
the lips of knowledge.
Proverbs 14:7
There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise;
but a foolish man spendeth it up.
Proverbs 21:20
The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man
shall be satisfied from himself.
Proverbs 14:4
The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remain in the
congregation of the dead.
Proverbs 21:16


​oil and water do not mix
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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#6
yes Rick,

my thoughts also...Chris has more than done his part as Christ would have you to do -
please allow him to follow his own path to our Saviour, if this is God's destiny and plan
for him...sometimes 'stepping-back' and allowing another's 'life-path' to unfold, can be
painful and confusing, but, let Jesus be the Judge of your brother's life, you have been
faithful and very kind indeed...
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
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#7
Seems you're enabling him. This puts some responsibility. If you want it to change, then change it.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
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#8
Lord please bless ChrisGas and his brother in this matter. In Jesus Loving name, Amen!
 
Dec 31, 2017
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#10
Agape Love of God has to give. It can't do differently, than give.
 
Dec 31, 2017
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#11
Noone will change the world by changing others (that means you don't love them as they are). But by changing yourself.


I don't say you should finance or enable any life(style) that goes beyond a good abundant fruitful life.

I say, your brother deserves an abundant fruitful life. That includes a basic income, accomodation etc.

Now what he will do with it, it's not up to you. Your job is to enable him to have that. Actually it's also the job of your government. To provide at least an unconditional basic income. Basic= enough to live abundantly.

That's not a favour, that's an obligation.

Agape Love can't do differently than give.