Dad

Im leaving town today for the first day ever not seeing my dad. The situation is complicated, but suffice it to say he is a bad man and I finally called him on it. Thus, he disowned me and told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me. My brother from TN visited him has he has about 6 mos to live. My brother told him I was in town and my dad sai that I probably wouldn't see him because of stuff that happened a long time ago. What he didn't say was that he told me he wants nothing to do with me anymore. Shall I say I'm angry? This isn't the first time he's tried to make me look like the bad guy with my siblings.

Try to see him anyway

He probably didn't mean it ..he was just reacting.

He may not act nice again....try to be the bigger person. It's hard when it's a parent acting this way, but you may regret not at least TRYING to repair the relationship.

One way to start may be to think of something you DO appreciate about your dad and thanking him for that. That may tear down a lot of walls.

Praying for you

You and your parents situation made me realize something about me and my parents.

They will never see me as an adult. Anytime I've told them something that they didn't know or hadn't occured to them, they would laugh it off. And I think it's because some parents never grow past the parent-child relationship. They can't stand to think that their child might know something that they don't.

This is very sad. Me and my parents will NEVER have a real friendship because of it. We will never be able to converse as equals because in their eyes they are 'superior' to me. They think they know more than I do simply because they are my parents. Thank goodness not all parents are like this. But I now realize the problem in our relationship. They both come from difficult homes themselves so I can see how they'd never get past this.

Reminds me of the movie "Time Bandits" (excellent movie...has God and Creation in it in a peculiar way)...at the end of the movie a piece of evil has made it back to real time and the parents find it in the microwave; the son yells 'mom, dad, don't touch it, it's evil!' . And of course they immediately reach for it and disappear in a puff of smoke Funny movie.

Maybe this helps you to understand your parents a little better and not take it personally when they insult you. I doubt they even know they insulted you. Like your mom accusing you of disrespecting her because you make a helpful suggestion. In her eyes, you're saying you know more than she does. Well, you do, but the point is children aren't supposed to know more than their parents

You can turn this hurt into a triumph by saying to yourself 'I will never be this way with my children. I will listen to them and if they are right, I will tell them so'...'If I am wrong, I will admit it'.

Praying for safe travels for you

I will pray that you and your dad are reconciled.

Allow me to explain. I have been the bigger man my whole life and I honestly don't feel like I new to be the "bigger man" in this situation either. I have spoken to him about the Lord. He knows. I have tried to repair the relationship, and this is why he disowned me. The next step is on him. I realize he may not take it. And while it doesn't feel good, I'm ok with not speaking to him. The only thing that will be hard is if they don't invite me to the funeral.
My dad is not safe. I'm in my own healing process, but at this point there is very little I can appreciate him for. He was incredibly abusive in many ways starting practically at birth and he continues to play stupid. I told him it wasn't safe to be around him until he was willing I admit what he did.

I understand what you're saying

Praying for your healing and comfort, sweetie, hang in there .

Hugs Jordache, you and your family continue in myprayers in Jesus.

God bless
pickles

first thing to do love is forgive your dad for what was said & done. when people get upset they do and say things not saying it was right for what he's done, but just forgive him and ask jesus for deliverance & for comfort. i am praying everything works for your relationship with your dad & if he does become negative again let God handle him & dont even respond to his actions