Doubts

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Nov 21, 2011
41
0
6
#1
Hi,

In 2011, I entered college and I was struggling with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, ect. I failed almost all of my classes during my first semester but since I was convinced that God had put in my heart the right directions and the desire to be a doctor, I continued retaking the same classes and I failed them again and again. At first I thought it was because of me, I wasn't good enough or I wasn't making the effort. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. Long story short, I prayed and prayed and decided to go into another program and I really felt like that would be it but they refused my admission. 1 year and a few later, here I am, doors are closing in front of me because of all the classes that I failed, colleges are declining my admission and I have no idea what to do with my life. Those who are familiar the cegeps in Quebec will understand that my Cote R suffered a lot. I took extra classes at night but it's not enough. Everytime that I think I know what God wants for me, everything falls apart. I don't know what to believe in anymore. People around me are judging me and thinking that I abandoned, my parents are pressuring me. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do but everything is falling apart. I'm angry, mostly at myself and I feel confused, I don't understand what God is trying to do with me or what to do for Him to show me the way. Sometimes I catch myself being angry at God because I just don't understand how wasting 3 years of my life was supposed to be part of the ''everything works for the good of those who love Him''. I am constantly asking myself is this is not all my fault, am I not good enough, what is it with me that makes me such a bad person? Should I pray more, should I love more, should I...?? I am so angry. Everytime I try to believe that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, ect, something happens to prove me wrong.

I really am in the dark and at this point I could use some prayers.

Thank you
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#3
Father, be with Hannah. Lead her to quiet, restoring time with You. Lead her to peace. Relieve this stress. Let her stop looking to what others want/expect from her and show her the way You would have her to go. Show her how special she is to You and lead her in the amazing plans You have for her life.
 

KBond

Senior Member
Jun 5, 2013
662
21
18
#5
Lord, I thank You that You are with Hannah Grace always. I thank You that You love her---not for what she does---but because she is Your child. Please guide her and lead her to a deeper knowledge of Your deep love. In Christ's Name, Amen.

John 1:12-13
Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#6
Hi,

In 2011, I entered college and I was struggling with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, ect. I failed almost all of my classes during my first semester but since I was convinced that God had put in my heart the right directions and the desire to be a doctor, I continued retaking the same classes and I failed them again and again. At first I thought it was because of me, I wasn't good enough or I wasn't making the effort. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. Long story short, I prayed and prayed and decided to go into another program and I really felt like that would be it but they refused my admission. 1 year and a few later, here I am, doors are closing in front of me because of all the classes that I failed, colleges are declining my admission and I have no idea what to do with my life. Those who are familiar the cegeps in Quebec will understand that my Cote R suffered a lot. I took extra classes at night but it's not enough. Everytime that I think I know what God wants for me, everything falls apart. I don't know what to believe in anymore. People around me are judging me and thinking that I abandoned, my parents are pressuring me. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do but everything is falling apart. I'm angry, mostly at myself and I feel confused, I don't understand what God is trying to do with me or what to do for Him to show me the way. Sometimes I catch myself being angry at God because I just don't understand how wasting 3 years of my life was supposed to be part of the ''everything works for the good of those who love Him''. I am constantly asking myself is this is not all my fault, am I not good enough, what is it with me that makes me such a bad person? Should I pray more, should I love more, should I...?? I am so angry. Everytime I try to believe that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, ect, something happens to prove me wrong.

I really am in the dark and at this point I could use some prayers.

Thank you
Hannah, first of all, none of us knows God's plan for us. It's arrogant to assume that we do!! Maybe he doesnt want you to be a doctor, but I know he has great plans for you. For each one of us. The bible tells us that! Stop thinking you know what his plan for you is. It will be revealed in full, to you at the right time. Things will start coming together for you once you stop assuming you know what the plan is. We are NOT all-knowing as he is. If we were, we would live our lives alot differently than we do. You shouldnt be angry, at yourself OR God. He knows how hard life is for us. He knows you tried your best. He doesnt expect us to succeed, only to try our absolute best at everything we do. He knows we will fail at some things. None of what happened is your fault, and you are definitely good enough to be whatever you (and God) wants you to be, whether its a doctor or dentist or whatever. You are NOT a bad person--stop thinking that!! That is the devil planting his evil seed in your mind--dont give him a stronghold. Should you pray more? Definitely!! We all should, myself and everyone on earth. Should you love more? We are commanded to love others as Jesus has loved us. That means unconditionally and without exception. God made you just the way he wants you to be: full of questions and doubts so he can answer them and use you to his glory. :) Keep the faith, my sista. :)
 
C

cgirl

Guest
#7
Keep believing that God has a plan for you.
Remember Paul in one of his missionary trips? He was doing the right thing, preaching the gospel, but the ship he was in crashed and he went through several problems, but at the end, if that hadn't happened, the occidental world wouldn't had meet the gospel.

Just an advice: Have you thought about studing abroad?
A lot of people come to my country to study, specially medicine and such, cause education here is cheaper and it's kind of decent...
I'm from Dominican Republic, by the way.
If you're interested in my suggestion, google "Unibe" and "Uasd". Those are the best universities to study medicine, and Unibe has an English curriculum.
 

jb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
591
113
#8
Hi,

In 2011, I entered college and I was struggling with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, ect. I failed almost all of my classes during my first semester but since I was convinced that God had put in my heart the right directions and the desire to be a doctor, I continued retaking the same classes and I failed them again and again. At first I thought it was because of me, I wasn't good enough or I wasn't making the effort. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. Long story short, I prayed and prayed and decided to go into another program and I really felt like that would be it but they refused my admission. 1 year and a few later, here I am, doors are closing in front of me because of all the classes that I failed, colleges are declining my admission and I have no idea what to do with my life. Those who are familiar the cegeps in Quebec will understand that my Cote R suffered a lot. I took extra classes at night but it's not enough. Everytime that I think I know what God wants for me, everything falls apart. I don't know what to believe in anymore. People around me are judging me and thinking that I abandoned, my parents are pressuring me. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do but everything is falling apart. I'm angry, mostly at myself and I feel confused, I don't understand what God is trying to do with me or what to do for Him to show me the way. Sometimes I catch myself being angry at God because I just don't understand how wasting 3 years of my life was supposed to be part of the ''everything works for the good of those who love Him''. I am constantly asking myself is this is not all my fault, am I not good enough, what is it with me that makes me such a bad person? Should I pray more, should I love more, should I...?? I am so angry. Everytime I try to believe that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, ect, something happens to prove me wrong.

I really am in the dark and at this point I could use some prayers.

Thank you
Hi Annie:

Firstly, the verse that comes to mind is the 1st part of Psalm 46v10: "Be still, and know that I am God..." at this juncture in your life you need to chill out for a time and take stock of things!

Secondly, God HAS a plan for your life and it is His desire to show it to you! Jer 29v11 states: "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Thirdly, if you feel that God's plan is indeed for you to do medicine, now may not be the time for you to go and do it, it may be for sometime in the not to distant future, for so it was with me, I was a mature student (27 years old) when I went to university and did my degree (masters) so as to work in the health industry.

Fourthly, ALL nagging, comdemning and accusing thoughts should be REJECTED, as they are NOT from God, BUT from the enemy (who is a liar and comes to steal and destroy)! When God speaks to His children, He speaks in a most loving kind and gentle way, even when He disciplines us! The yoke that Jesus has for you, is made by Him for YOU (your OWN unique yoke), He does NOT try and fit someone else's yoke on you, and the yoke that He has for you is light and easy to wear! 1Kings 19v12, 1John 4v8,16, Matt 11v28-30, John 8v44, 10v10, Rev 12v10

Know this, that the Father love YOU, just like He loves Jesus and Jesus love YOU, just like the Father love Him, and He Himself has said that He will never, never, never, never, never, leave YOU nor forsake YOU! [AMP] John 15v9, 17v23, Heb 13v5

You can find a short study Here on seeking and receiving guidance...

You can also find a few other studies Here, Here, Here, Here and Here to help you with your faith and walk with the Lord Jesus...

Yahweh Shalom...