Hi,
In 2011, I entered college and I was struggling with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, ect. I failed almost all of my classes during my first semester but since I was convinced that God had put in my heart the right directions and the desire to be a doctor, I continued retaking the same classes and I failed them again and again. At first I thought it was because of me, I wasn't good enough or I wasn't making the effort. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. Long story short, I prayed and prayed and decided to go into another program and I really felt like that would be it but they refused my admission. 1 year and a few later, here I am, doors are closing in front of me because of all the classes that I failed, colleges are declining my admission and I have no idea what to do with my life. Those who are familiar the cegeps in Quebec will understand that my Cote R suffered a lot. I took extra classes at night but it's not enough. Everytime that I think I know what God wants for me, everything falls apart. I don't know what to believe in anymore. People around me are judging me and thinking that I abandoned, my parents are pressuring me. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do but everything is falling apart. I'm angry, mostly at myself and I feel confused, I don't understand what God is trying to do with me or what to do for Him to show me the way. Sometimes I catch myself being angry at God because I just don't understand how wasting 3 years of my life was supposed to be part of the ''everything works for the good of those who love Him''. I am constantly asking myself is this is not all my fault, am I not good enough, what is it with me that makes me such a bad person? Should I pray more, should I love more, should I...?? I am so angry. Everytime I try to believe that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, ect, something happens to prove me wrong.
I really am in the dark and at this point I could use some prayers.
Thank you
In 2011, I entered college and I was struggling with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, ect. I failed almost all of my classes during my first semester but since I was convinced that God had put in my heart the right directions and the desire to be a doctor, I continued retaking the same classes and I failed them again and again. At first I thought it was because of me, I wasn't good enough or I wasn't making the effort. It's a long story so I won't bore you with it. Long story short, I prayed and prayed and decided to go into another program and I really felt like that would be it but they refused my admission. 1 year and a few later, here I am, doors are closing in front of me because of all the classes that I failed, colleges are declining my admission and I have no idea what to do with my life. Those who are familiar the cegeps in Quebec will understand that my Cote R suffered a lot. I took extra classes at night but it's not enough. Everytime that I think I know what God wants for me, everything falls apart. I don't know what to believe in anymore. People around me are judging me and thinking that I abandoned, my parents are pressuring me. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do but everything is falling apart. I'm angry, mostly at myself and I feel confused, I don't understand what God is trying to do with me or what to do for Him to show me the way. Sometimes I catch myself being angry at God because I just don't understand how wasting 3 years of my life was supposed to be part of the ''everything works for the good of those who love Him''. I am constantly asking myself is this is not all my fault, am I not good enough, what is it with me that makes me such a bad person? Should I pray more, should I love more, should I...?? I am so angry. Everytime I try to believe that I am beautiful, I am intelligent, ect, something happens to prove me wrong.
I really am in the dark and at this point I could use some prayers.
Thank you
Keep the faith, my sista.