i know exactly how it feels
praying for you!
you can listening to online sermon if you cant go to church, you can also read bible from phone, and if you need someone to talk you can pm me..
its hard to be born in the family that isnt Christian and push you to do their way.. sometimes jealous for those who have all the freedom
but you have to keep stand and pray for your family.. dont get mad and forgive them even its hard to do
sometimes can be weak tho.. with all the environment
keep your faith
God bless you sist