Husband angry because of his looks

Tonight I'm hurt by my husbands health issues. I hate saying that dreaded word cancer. But all he did was look in a mirror in the kitchen, and went really angry. I am the closest person to him, I watch out and pray. But tonight he blamed me and said why do I say he looks normal, which I don't, he said I'm a bastard for not telling him how he looks. I find Rod very head strong at times, he's loosing it, he talks about his weight loss etc. I'm clutching at straws to try and keep going in a nice calm way for both of us. He does not see what I see, he blames me and gets nasty words. It's so hard dealing with someone that's poorly. I want us to enjoy our time, I care for Rod so much, and he doesn't understand why I can't turn around and say negative things about his looks etc. Yes I try to keep calm when he shouting and just say he's lost weight. He's fighting against it, and doesn't like himself. I want us to be peaceful he can say nasty things. I'm affected so much more than he ever realises about the whole thing. I can't cope with his questions or even paranoia he's saying people will look at him now, which he feels embarrassed by. I honestly don't know what to do at times. I'm fighting hard to stay strong but I get affected by my own mental health problems. I feel so sorry for Rod, but if he's choosing to be like this, there's nothing I can do. I really don't choose to get in arguments in front of people with him. Prayers appreciated.

I'm. Also worried about my husbands state of mind, it really making me feel like rubbish.

He's dying, Happy. And he knows it. And he knows he can't control it, and what it's doing to him. You both have many pressures on you right now.. From the sound of it, by him saying you're not right to tell him how bad he looks, it kind of sounds like he wants you to stop babying him and be honest with him about the cancer.

Hang in there.. *hugs*

It's a pretty normal and reasonable reaction from someone in his position. My mother had a terminal illness when I was a teen. I didn't find out till years later that she would have tantrums when I wasn't around. She would scream, throw things and even pound on my father's chest while yelling at him. Her illness was not his fault.
I can tell you as one who had an illness that could have killed me that it Does affect how you view yourself. It is a swirl if emotions and fears and anger. Anger often is a symptom of another emotion. My suggestion to you is to not take it all so personal. He doesn't Really blame you, he is just scared and vulnerable and only has one place, one person, he can vent it out to. Do your best to remain calm, not argue back, but let him get it out. You can't change his mind so stop trying.
You can give compliments or deny negatives but don't do so expecting it to make him feel different but rather as a show that you are on his side. He feels a certain way, very strongly, so let him. At least for a little while. Sometimes people need to feel things to get them out. Especially bad ones.

Thanks for your time and good advice. I needed God's guidance tonight and I got it. I know I can get through this with Rod.

Father God, please bless Rod and happyface, to be with love and respect. Lord we bring this matter to you, please bless. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

Today I ask God for protection against the enemy. My husband has slept all afternoon, I try hard to be a good wife, but he's so cold. Everything I put in practice is blown away by him. I realise he's poorly but in his time he wants nothing to do with me. He looks cold hearted and looks straight ahead, and tells me he doesn't want me to go upstairs to see him. His attitude is really cold. I'm hurting because he's refused to drink and eat. It's like he's punishing himself and me. It's been hard today him being in bed, I feel on tender hooks just trying to talk to him. I so want to be myself as I have issues also. He can't see that though. It hurts his manner. And he's very judgement with me. Yet I know his illness can't be helped. I feel second class today and hurt because it's all about him.

Today I realise I'm very sensitive and yes words hurt. But I'm asking God today to direct the way. Rod has his strengths dispite his illness, and although he moan about living here, he cut the grass. He's very determined character and I just can't change him. He's cut the large garden while I weeded. My feet hurt now, and yes although I try hard I have my weaknesses. I know God has given me a heart, dispite my frustration, and I will just be as normal as I can be around Rod. I see his illness more than him, but because he's got such a determined nature he doesn't see like I do. I think ahead and allow for any weaknesses.