Hey, Jacob. Not entirely sure what is going on with you, but I can understand how frustrating it is. We all have that peace. It passes through any time of understanding where we can't even understand why we have peace in the midst of chaos.
But, sometimes, we just start to "think" and we start to lose focus. I encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus and your thoughts. Whenever this "situation" comes against you, causing you to be hurt, read Isaiah 26:3: "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because He trusts in You."
Peace isn't a feeling, but it's a gift that God gives to you. Maybe this is a "waiting" process for you, where it can be discouraging. I really have no idea.
I know about a month ago, without getting into any details, a relationship ended in my life. Nights were awful, days were terrible....but God kept saying to me, "Think of Me." And as I did, I felt that peace. Because like you, peace comes and goes...and I was trying to figure out why that was. It was because I wasn't thinking on Him, I wasn't thinking about what He has done.
Your emotions and your feelings are valid and are important. I'll be praying when God puts you on my heart
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