I used to know a woman who had a history of cutting herself. She was surrounded by demons, brought on by buying into the kaballa thing whole heartedly. Well, here's the whole story (this occurred some time ago):
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My friend Vicki is spiritually very strong and sensitive, even more than she knows. I knew from what she is involved with (heavily into Kabala) that the ‘darkies’ (I don’t like the word demons because there’s so much misinformation and mis-guided thought about them) were present around her. The first time I went to visit her they kept their distance while we chatted. But the moment I stepped out her door, two of them escorted me down the hall, down the stairs, into the street to my car, and watched me drive away. Plain as day, they don't even try to hide from me anymore because they know God's made me discerning of them.
When I prayed for her (and I mostly pray in the Spirit), I often got this visual impression where it's night time, and I'm elevated like up in a tree to where I can see across the rooftops. Off a mile or so is her apartment building. Buildings usually give off some ambient light, but the light from her building was much brighter than the surroundings. Bright enough that it shines up upon the bottom of what at first looks to be some very dark tumultuous clouds. But looking closer, I can see it is instead a thick black swirling cloud of dark spirits. They're like a ginormous nasty swarm of mosquitoes, just looking for way in to draw blood, being held back solely by the light.
So one night I'm praying for her, and it’s concerted prayer; the swarm is thick and heavy and really agitated - pressing in to the point where they were smothering out the light. I got a sense of real urgency, that something really bad was happening. So in the Name of Jesus I travailed in prayer to bind and silence and swat at a few of them. But I was just one man against a swarm, definitely outnumbered. So I commanded angels to fight and occupy the enemy; and I saw angels start charging into the darkness. And then I command more of them to move in and get her out and to a place of safety. And I see more of them rush off into the scene. And so that is how I fight, in the Spirit of God claiming the Authority of Christ to bind and silence the darkies; and commanding the angelic host to go and do battle and occupy the them while others get in and get her out. And I'm watching this happen in my vision; I don't ever see her, but I see the heavenly forces rushing off to do battle against the swarm.
So the next day I'm talking to her, and before I can say anything she starts telling me about how she has always had trouble dealing with certain critical issues. They had been recently piling up and squeezing her to the point where she was starting to come apart and have a panic attack over how she was going to deal with them. She confessed that she’d dealt with it before by cutting herself (including her wrists) and that last night she was ready to do it again. Then she said, 'it was so weird, because all of a sudden this voice started telling me to get out, get out, leave, and something grabbed me by the arms and dragged me out of the apartment and down to my car.' She ended up on a bench at the beach where a Bible she found and people she encountered helped her find peace with the issues.
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Point is, what you describe is the result of a spiritual stronghold. Breaking that requires fasting and much prayer warfare. And confession/removal from such influences. Search your heart, and God, for the wisdom and knowlege and discernment of what enslaves you.
I will be praying for you.
