I am in my last semester of college. My grades weren't too good because of things that I went through. Things that have distracted me. But I applied for grad school anyway because I feel this is where I am beng lead by God to pursue. Now I know that these colleges will not let me in just by viewing my application alone. I need much prayer for this! That I will get into all of the ones I applied to. One in Texas, two in California and one in Boston! I need blessings over my applications. That they will see my progress and dedication to continuing education. I need my application to be in God's hands. I want him to accept my applications through them.!
Also I pray that I will find confidence within myself. Confidence within the Lord. Humans judge the flesh and I have been victim of this all throughout childhood AND even today. Left and right I find myself having to keep close to the word of God because of the demons people have in them. I know the world hated God and they will hate me too. I am experiencing this every single day. It is energy draining. Being amongst this spiritual warfare. My holy spirit against evil spirits. I pray for strength through all this. I pray that God show me how to handle this as he did. I can't make sense of anything so I tend to seclude myself in my room.
I have no more friends. They have all hurt me and betrayed me. Even my "best friend" of 12 years. The new people I do meet end up doing the same thing to me. Hurting me in some kind of way. Which still, leaves me alone. I thank God for my immediate family. But me and my sister are having issues we aren't even speaking anymore. My extended family I only see once a year or at special events. But when I do see them, I end up being alone. So I barely have family to go to. However I would like prayer over my family. That we remain healthy and safe. That we are blessed financially. Blessed with unity. I pray this competitive spirit they have, goes away.
I am alone everywhere I go, but growing my faith in Christ.! But sometimes it is hard and I am only human. As I walk outside daily, looking around seeing everyone else have friends. Everyone else hiding their pain while mines show. Everyone else being of this world while I am not. Everyone else fine without accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, while I know apart from him I can do nothing. It's hard being the only one. Being verbally attacked on the streets by people I don't even know. It's hard. Being in classroom where my faith is constantly ridiculed. It's hard.
I want to please the Lord and I try my best not to let this anger me. I talk to God everyday and thank him for everything he has done and will do. I appreciate the few people here and there that I can tell walk with the Holy Spirit that crosses my path. When I am outside it's hard for me not to be worn down by peoples demons that find me almost instantaneously through the humans themselves. Making me feel as if I should be ashamed for who I am. Staring me down with eyes of evil one at a time or sometimes even in bulks of 10-20 people. I recite scripture in my head. I try to rebuke the demons out of them, telling them to leave me alone, but by the middle of the day I am beat/drained. Having to do this with almost everyone I encounter. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
Thank you all for listening please help me all you can! <3
God Bless
Also I pray that I will find confidence within myself. Confidence within the Lord. Humans judge the flesh and I have been victim of this all throughout childhood AND even today. Left and right I find myself having to keep close to the word of God because of the demons people have in them. I know the world hated God and they will hate me too. I am experiencing this every single day. It is energy draining. Being amongst this spiritual warfare. My holy spirit against evil spirits. I pray for strength through all this. I pray that God show me how to handle this as he did. I can't make sense of anything so I tend to seclude myself in my room.
I have no more friends. They have all hurt me and betrayed me. Even my "best friend" of 12 years. The new people I do meet end up doing the same thing to me. Hurting me in some kind of way. Which still, leaves me alone. I thank God for my immediate family. But me and my sister are having issues we aren't even speaking anymore. My extended family I only see once a year or at special events. But when I do see them, I end up being alone. So I barely have family to go to. However I would like prayer over my family. That we remain healthy and safe. That we are blessed financially. Blessed with unity. I pray this competitive spirit they have, goes away.
I am alone everywhere I go, but growing my faith in Christ.! But sometimes it is hard and I am only human. As I walk outside daily, looking around seeing everyone else have friends. Everyone else hiding their pain while mines show. Everyone else being of this world while I am not. Everyone else fine without accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, while I know apart from him I can do nothing. It's hard being the only one. Being verbally attacked on the streets by people I don't even know. It's hard. Being in classroom where my faith is constantly ridiculed. It's hard.
I want to please the Lord and I try my best not to let this anger me. I talk to God everyday and thank him for everything he has done and will do. I appreciate the few people here and there that I can tell walk with the Holy Spirit that crosses my path. When I am outside it's hard for me not to be worn down by peoples demons that find me almost instantaneously through the humans themselves. Making me feel as if I should be ashamed for who I am. Staring me down with eyes of evil one at a time or sometimes even in bulks of 10-20 people. I recite scripture in my head. I try to rebuke the demons out of them, telling them to leave me alone, but by the middle of the day I am beat/drained. Having to do this with almost everyone I encounter. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?
Thank you all for listening please help me all you can! <3
God Bless