Im a sex addict and have been one for many years

Yes, it can be physiological need that should be provided for. Even scripture attests to this. A wife is a good thing, and a favour from the Lord.

You're presuppositions are ascetic, and as such terrible. You've yet to actually deal with the scripture that states my position. I'm not saying that scripture just supports my position, it outright states it. If you cannot contain yourself then marry. This is what anyone with any scriptural background should tell this guy, and that is what should be prayed for.

I understand that meeting peoples needs contradicts your emo churchianity, but it is what a Christian should pray for.

This isn't relevant to this topic now is it? Her problem was different than his.

Behavioural addiction is not the same as substance addiction. You're approaching it as if it was substance addiction.

The only problem here is that he is seeking to get something he can legitimately have in illegitimate ways. In this case someone who could meet his needs legitimately would provide both happiness and health for both of them.

The fact is there isn't any evidence he even has a particularly strong sex drive in the first place. The only thing we know is that when things heat up his desire is greater than his restraint.

No one can judge what the problem is. He said he was a sex addict. He did not simply say he had strong sex drive.

Indeed, I didn't even say he had a strong sex drive.

More importantly he said he caved when things heated up. If you can't judge that as being the problem then you need to seriously work on your discernment.

I'm pretty sure you can see that that is, in fact, the problem. You pretty much said that's what it was in your first post to him.

But like I said in my last post, you're taking the word addiction to mean something it doesn't. His form of addiction is not of the same type as the addictions you've had to address in the past.

What i would as new member, add to this conversation ( I checked the starting point) that we have even greater need to LOVE and then also be loved. And also there is sexual drive, which is stronger in one monent, and in the background in another.

But, we should practise the feeling of love, and hope that we will also get our part in another realm, so to say.

Because to SOME extent, love and sex energy are transmutable, same energy in different forms.

So, transmutation might be one key in this issue.

Yes, that is a good observation. Well said StPepe.

Regardless I stick to my initial advice. Regardless of the true issue, it's better to work on your self-control rather than cover it over with something that actually doesn't fix anything.
Once you are married you drag that person into your issue. Do you best to conquer it first. That passage was not necessarily pushing marriage for those with a lack of self-control. The focus was on being single as a chance to offer more of yourself to The Lord. Paul even said it was a suggestion, not a command... Meaning there are better was to deal with this issue than simply getting married.

So, you're saying you don't care what the problem is, you want to stand by your recommendation. It doesn't matter if it isn't properly addressing the problem. You stand where you stand.

Having the need met can effectively fix this problem. You're still looking at it like he has a problem with a harmful substance. In reality the object of his 'addiction' is not a problem, but rather the outlet for it is.
Sometimes it's good to look into the person you're talking too. In this case you and I are the same age, but you're separated while I'm nearing my 10th anniversary. Marriage is about working together to overcome what needs to be overcome. You'd better be sharing your issues with each other left and right. In this case there is no better way to deal with his issue than a supportive spouse.
Yeah.
No. If you're looking for a better way to deal with the issue than Paul's suggestion you're not going to find one... Praying to no longer be horny is certainly not in there.

First question I have, is realneedy even still part of this discussion? Second, how do you become a senior member almost overnight? Final question, JGPS, why do you insist on playing devil's advocate in prayer forums to advance your polygamy agenda? One of the fruits of spiritual living is self control. Would you tell someone suffering from gluttony to eat until you can't eat anymore, then you won't be tempted as much? Clearly you have ignored suggestions for Godly living and have validated your own lack of self control with lust. You have no idea how far realneedy might have slipped down a lustful slope. There are people who are reading these posts who may very well be visiting prostitutes, participating in orgies and multiple fornication. Your advice is toxic. This forum is a haven for people to meet with believers and get intercession for their conviction and needs. I smell a wolf.

I agree with JGPS ;

Why would you ask such a thing? His last post was one day ago, he may be a one post wonder or not.

Hax man, powerful hax. That or updating my E-Mail address reset my join date. I dunno, so I'll just go with the first answer.

I've been forthright in this fourm. The devil's got a good solid hook on heirofchrist over there as he's mucked in asceticism and his own culture, but that's another matter. Scratch that, if you knew what devil meant you'd realize that you're it. But we'll deal with that later.
Congrats, you got something right.
Gluttony is an excess outlined in scripture. Sex addiction is a concept from the 70's that may or may not be related to actual disorders. It's generally safe to assume that if someone has a diagnosed disorder they'll use the proper term for it. So what we're talking about is likely no more or less than his desire outweighing his judgment...
Yes, that's right, you see seeking a marriage partner that meets needs as ungodly.

Clearly reading scripture is out of the question for you since you've become emotionally engaged to attack something that makes you uncomfortable...
My idea is that he's fornicated. That seems quite plain. However that's been done it amounts to the same thing. How wilfully ignorant do you have to be to think anyone here doesn't see that?
Yes. That's true. And if they are they should seek a proper mar ridge and be aware that they ought to take responsibility for anyone they sleep with. Bearing that in mind may help them not fornicate in the future.
Oh yes, advice to pray for marriage is toxic according to you. Advice to bear in mind the seriousness of sex before he does it is also toxic according to you. I'm supposing anything beyond 'pray for the problem to disappear' is out of the question here.

It's actually quite infuriating. So many Christians can't get over the S word that they can't think clearly about what a situation needs and what the Bible actually says about it. You should be ashamed of yourself calling advice to marry toxic. Doubly ashamed that you call me pointing out that he shouldn't have sex with anyone he won't commit too toxic.

This is getting to the point where it's greiveing my spirit. How can you possibly be so blind in this situation? You're so perveted that you see sex as something so evil that you think praying that he gets it is a BAD thing. It's amazing.
You ARE the wolf. You're standing against what scripture plainly and explicitly recommends because of your petty biases. And you're ready to throw around accusations rather than scripture to support your cause. That is what being a devil is, you're laying out false accusations...


But here, read.

Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Like it or not, marriage is good. And if someone is too horny, they should marry. Considering a good wife is favour from the Lord, he's the one to talk to about getting one. Praying for a wife is the thing to do, and considering his needs the stipulation 'horny' is quite fitting.

Thank you RedStar

OKAY RedStar, I'll bite. You take JGPS advice and marry a woman who is as insatiable as you are. For whatever reason one of you can't satisfy the other for some reason. Maybe medical, maybe travelling, maybe you just can't stand to be in the same room with eachother because you got married without even knowing oneanother. Then what? You get divorced, have a custody battle and start all over? There is a reason Paul recommended what he did. You could claim King David had multiple wives. The whole story however would have to include that it caused a rift in his parenting skills. One of his sons raped one of his daughters, tried to steal the throne from him. Although he had gorgeous wives to choose from, his lust extended to the one he couldn't have and ended in murder. Although Solomon was extremely wise his lust led him to have hundreds of wives and sex slaves. In spite of his wisdom, he failed to train his successor in leadership and caused Israel to sin against God. Is there polygamy and lust among followers of God. Sure. Samson was another whose lust caused him to be continually duped by the bride he chose for the wrong reasons. Yes sexual temptation is strong but we are called to be stronger. We are called to be led by Christ, not by our carnal urges.

I think you are ignoring that he already had a wife. Do you now want to blame her for not doing her duties? You can find scripture to back up marriage but you can't validate lust.

Nope, he's separated or divorced. This may not have anything to do with that. This may even be caused by that. Still, you're making assumptions.

You also don't seem to know what lust means in scripture... It isn't primarily about sexual desire. You'd do well to understand that.

You're once again running a hypothetical rabbit hole. Running around in your own little world with a lineup of maybe then and what if that went wrong shows only how weak your case is and how desperate you are to hang onto your point of view. Your point of view is ascetic poison, it's the stuff gnostics are made of.

JGPS, you need to back off on the judgement. I'm glad you're still married, but you cannot claim yourself more righteous (or wise) simply because my marriage is ending.

You said something about marriage that is quite the opposite of the truth. I'm pointing out that its rather poor form to be making unilateral statements about what a marriage should be when you have problems with it yourself. It's better to give advice about what you're good at.

But back to the point.

If you're looking for a better way to deal with the issue than Paul's suggestion you're not going to find one... Praying to no longer be horny is certainly not in there.