insane or overwhelmed by demons?

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R

Ronny

Guest
#21
#21
Letting go is easier said than done. Especially when I must see her when I pick up my daughter. I miss her deeply and I feel that i'm punishing myself for what i've done to her in the past. I know the guilt is overwhelming right now and I must forgive myself at some point. I just can't right now. She is so wonderful, beautiful, great mother, spiritual and innocent to some point and I wrecked it all. God needs me to remedy something and i'm looking everyday for new things I can fix. Starting with my connection with Him. As for being at rock bottom. If this isn't rock bottom then I guess I'd really think it is something I really fear because I am struggling as is. There are times when I wish that all of you were here so that I could just sit and get those kind words and to cry with you and get a comforting hug. I'm here on my knees with tears pouring out of my eyes pounding the floor with clinched fists begging God with all my might to relieve me of this suffering. I know there is a point of waiting but If it is prolonged too long I fear hospitalization. Whenever I feel that I contact my friend or someone distracts me. It doesn't always work. I've asked God what He intends for Sarah and I and the only thing that I hear is wait and see. That's something my dad used to say when it was something good. Kinda funny isn't it? I have all this love for so many people in this world and nobody wants it. My daughter excluded. I love all of you with all my might. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Love always,
Ronny
 
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