Living in constant background fear, health issues, etc.

I can barely concentrate on life anymore, and enjoying life. I have no motivation to do anything, even things I like. There is always a fear there. A constant lingering fear. The thing I'm scared of will change, but it is always something. The latest one is I get scared that I am somehow sinning or not turning to God if I find some ways to be happy by using my imagination to creatively help my psychology, like I did when I was a kid, or self-help books that have helped me in the past...instead of looking to God or reading the bible. (I don't even know who God is, so how can I know He didn't bless me with imaginative tools to feel better here in this fleshy brain of mine?).

I feel anxious inside when I read the bible. Aside from the fact that much of it confuses me, my paranoid mind translates the words as the bible yelling at me personally and saying negative things that contradict other wonderful things in that same bible.

I feel anxiety when I pray, because I suddenly worry if I am saying it right, and feeling it right, then I worry that my worrying will make my willpower cancel out my wanting to be healed, and because God won't interfere with my willpower I'll stay sick...

My body and mind have some health issues, I don't feel comfortable talking about specifics, except that I need some prayers for my eyes and vision and metabolism. Please pray for me. I want to feel better again and I don't know what else to do, I'm so worried. Every doctor visit has been painfully disappointing, and my mom told me that God told her that His love can heal me, not the doctors. I want to believe this so badly.

Relena, you are in my prayers in Jesus for all you need.
I understand how fear and health issues can bring struggles, Ive battled them myself.
But , remember in scripture, Jesus said, you are worth more than many sparrows.
Jesus has shown me how very presious we each are, and we are not to fear, because its not about what we do, but all about His grace.
Just pray and talk to Jesus, read psalms, psalm 23 and 91 I lke for seeing God's care and protection.
When you read psalm 23, you will see that Jesus is the one that brings all we need and do.
As long as you look to Jesus, He delights in you, and will love, guide and care for you in everything.

Hugs and God bless
pickles

I agree with pickles, I will pray for you. God bless

If you ask God to give you wisdom before you pray, the Holy Spirit will lead you...

If you start your prayer with asking God for wisdom and direction, confessing He knows whats best.

That is the best you can do, God will lead you, He is faithful and He will do it

2 Tim 2:11 - 13
Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.



Phil 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

James 1:5,6
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

Luke 12:11,12
"When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say,
for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say."

Thanks everyone. I feel less scared today.

Relena7,

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better! This is a good verse to quote and memorize.
Much love, Shekaniah

2 Tim 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

It wasn't so much feeling timid on its own. But internal conflict. Different kinds of self-discipline and different kinds of power fight with each other in my head a lot, and it scares me because I don't know which one is God and which one isn't, which ones are truth and which ones are lies. Maybe the fact that they "have to" fight is a lie in itself. I just don't know anymore. I have high intelligence and spiritual gifts, but I can't use them right now because I am paralyzed on the inside from fear and confusion I unconsciously brought on myself to keep me from going the wrong way on accident...

Last night the conflict was so bad I literally wanted to scream in my bed just to give my brain some relief.

When the conflict is truly gone forever (if it ever can be), everyone who knows me will be shocked at my personality change, I'm sure...

You should read this book called "The Power of Now" by Ekar tole. It's about practicing the art of "not thinking". People overthink in our society. It only causes worry, stress, fear etc. But they don't have to. They can learn to shut off the mind and just be and live in the moment and stop letting there mind and endless thoughts run there life. You should try it. Dear lord please help person not to worry so much. Amen

^ Oh I have that book and others of similar "not worrying" teachings. It helped me a lot in 2010. That is one of the self-help psychology books I was referring to in my first post.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7


(Some translations say fear or both.)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Take care and claim who you are in Christ!
God bless

I am Praying for you.