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Good morning guys, the thing is, when I first went to the church ( 5 years a go ), my mom was like "Why are you there bored, laying on the sofa? why don't you go to the church, this afternoon?" and i was like "hmmm, ok i will give it a try", first time I went to the church, I saw a girl, and this girl saw me, we were in Love at first sight, something really powerful, a really strong love and it was not only me feeling it, but she aswell..
Now the good part of the story is, I went to the church almost every week, and it was awesome! Learning from God + singing, etc.. and in the end, I had the "gift" of being with her.. And that's what I called her, she was a Gift from God, in my heart I really knew that...
The sad part of the story is, we dated for months, and I had a problem with some non-believers boys that went there, just to "get girls", and we had a fight, it was like me against 5, the good thing is that I won the fight, (yay), the bad part is, the Pastor and the other guys were like "Just go away, you just come here to cause problems.." because it was a huge group against me, so, who's the one that's causing problems? <- Me.. bah
So, after this I became really angry with God, being like "If this is God's people, that I will have to share Heaven with? Then... bah!!"
And I don't know, I started to tell her , when she asked "Does God really exists?" I said stuff like, "No.." I knew in my heart that God is Great and exists, but I was angry, I don't know..
Took us a week to recieve a "bad new" that her mom was going to emigrate to Netherlands... so she had to go aswell... I did everything!! Made like a thousand plans, I spent like a whole week praying to God, and the last night I've been with her, we were at her home, in the most romantic night, kissing and already naked, she wanted to do it, and I said "No!", because I knew in my heart I had to be obedient to God if I wanted his help... come on, a 16 years old boy saying no!! anyways, she went away, it was a sad day, I even went to the airport with a moped, without license or insurance, but It was me arriving and the airplane taking over.. I cried alot..
ANYWAYS, I spent 5 years, praying everyday that God would bring her back, counting the days, I had already two girlfriends after her, but it's not the same thing, I think I do love her still, actually everything that I know from Love, it was thanks to her...
Two nights a go, I was at a party and they put on the karaoke at midnight, and after like 20 songs, they put our song playing ( Here Without you - 3 doors down ), and I got depressed, I drank a lot, I just came home, and prayed to God! like "why can't I just forget her?", anyways...
In the morning I went to my church, I was with my dad, and I was just praying and when I turn my face to the right, I saw her feet.. my heart froze as the coldest winter for a few secs, and then I just started to look closer and upper, slowly, and *BAM* there she was!!!!!
The Girl of my dreams, A 5 years old prayer came true!!, my heart starts pumping like it used to bump 5 years a go... for the first time in 5 years, my heart "worked" again..
I just kept sweating and praying to God ,like "omg! why now?!" , I just said to my Dad, "I'm not feeling alright.." and we just went home...
In the afternoon, I went to my Pastor, and spoke about this, I never told this story to anyone, and he said "Ruben, she has a boyfriend already, and what you feel is just emotion, Love is a choice and not a feeling.." etc...
He said many things and I was like "Damn!! why are you saying this things to me?" but I kept like nodding, and said "can I talk to her?" and yep, plan worked, she came to the shopping where we were..
And there she was, on my table, with a white dress, my "Gift", we just kept looking into each other souls, with a single glance of her my heart almost exploded... and she felt the same thing when she saw me, but said, that I'm past, and she will never ever come back to me, because she has a boyfriend now, and she said she doesn't know why she is feeling it too, but she wants to "break free", my Pastor prayed for us, we said "I forgive you and I free you, be happy and go on with you life."
I said it too, buuuuuuuut, in my heart I felt like " I will search for you again, I can wait more 5 , 10 , 20 years!!" anyways, she went away, and I kept telling my Pastor, she was a miracle, like, God put her in the same Church that I am, and stuff, and he said "You've been dating an Illusion for 5 years Ruben, love is not that, Love is a decision that you have to make, remember when God tells us to love our enemys? Do you really love them like that? with your heart pumping? No.. It's a decision to love.." etc.. etc..
I need some more advices and prayers, to forget, or to continue...?
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS, and... I don't know, what is your opinion? I miss her so much.. as she misses me? Is she my soul-mate? Anyways, please give me your answer!
Now the good part of the story is, I went to the church almost every week, and it was awesome! Learning from God + singing, etc.. and in the end, I had the "gift" of being with her.. And that's what I called her, she was a Gift from God, in my heart I really knew that...
The sad part of the story is, we dated for months, and I had a problem with some non-believers boys that went there, just to "get girls", and we had a fight, it was like me against 5, the good thing is that I won the fight, (yay), the bad part is, the Pastor and the other guys were like "Just go away, you just come here to cause problems.." because it was a huge group against me, so, who's the one that's causing problems? <- Me.. bah
So, after this I became really angry with God, being like "If this is God's people, that I will have to share Heaven with? Then... bah!!"
And I don't know, I started to tell her , when she asked "Does God really exists?" I said stuff like, "No.." I knew in my heart that God is Great and exists, but I was angry, I don't know..
Took us a week to recieve a "bad new" that her mom was going to emigrate to Netherlands... so she had to go aswell... I did everything!! Made like a thousand plans, I spent like a whole week praying to God, and the last night I've been with her, we were at her home, in the most romantic night, kissing and already naked, she wanted to do it, and I said "No!", because I knew in my heart I had to be obedient to God if I wanted his help... come on, a 16 years old boy saying no!! anyways, she went away, it was a sad day, I even went to the airport with a moped, without license or insurance, but It was me arriving and the airplane taking over.. I cried alot..
ANYWAYS, I spent 5 years, praying everyday that God would bring her back, counting the days, I had already two girlfriends after her, but it's not the same thing, I think I do love her still, actually everything that I know from Love, it was thanks to her...
Two nights a go, I was at a party and they put on the karaoke at midnight, and after like 20 songs, they put our song playing ( Here Without you - 3 doors down ), and I got depressed, I drank a lot, I just came home, and prayed to God! like "why can't I just forget her?", anyways...
In the morning I went to my church, I was with my dad, and I was just praying and when I turn my face to the right, I saw her feet.. my heart froze as the coldest winter for a few secs, and then I just started to look closer and upper, slowly, and *BAM* there she was!!!!!
The Girl of my dreams, A 5 years old prayer came true!!, my heart starts pumping like it used to bump 5 years a go... for the first time in 5 years, my heart "worked" again..
I just kept sweating and praying to God ,like "omg! why now?!" , I just said to my Dad, "I'm not feeling alright.." and we just went home...
In the afternoon, I went to my Pastor, and spoke about this, I never told this story to anyone, and he said "Ruben, she has a boyfriend already, and what you feel is just emotion, Love is a choice and not a feeling.." etc...
He said many things and I was like "Damn!! why are you saying this things to me?" but I kept like nodding, and said "can I talk to her?" and yep, plan worked, she came to the shopping where we were..
And there she was, on my table, with a white dress, my "Gift", we just kept looking into each other souls, with a single glance of her my heart almost exploded... and she felt the same thing when she saw me, but said, that I'm past, and she will never ever come back to me, because she has a boyfriend now, and she said she doesn't know why she is feeling it too, but she wants to "break free", my Pastor prayed for us, we said "I forgive you and I free you, be happy and go on with you life."
I said it too, buuuuuuuut, in my heart I felt like " I will search for you again, I can wait more 5 , 10 , 20 years!!" anyways, she went away, and I kept telling my Pastor, she was a miracle, like, God put her in the same Church that I am, and stuff, and he said "You've been dating an Illusion for 5 years Ruben, love is not that, Love is a decision that you have to make, remember when God tells us to love our enemys? Do you really love them like that? with your heart pumping? No.. It's a decision to love.." etc.. etc..
I need some more advices and prayers, to forget, or to continue...?
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS, and... I don't know, what is your opinion? I miss her so much.. as she misses me? Is she my soul-mate? Anyways, please give me your answer!
