My Mind is at War

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Jul 8, 2017
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#1
Depression is something I can't seem to escape from, no matter how much I focus on the Lord. I'm really struggling tonight with fleeting thoughts of suicide. I'm so burned out. When I think of suicide it seems peaceful to me; like an answer to all of the pain I carry in my bursting, heavy heart. I know it's not. But I feel like there are two of me arguing in my soul. The logical one loves the Lord and knows that suicide is not the answer. She keeps me thinking of my kids, my parents and others who would miss me, but the other one whispers memories of abuse and trauma; of pain and grief. She makes me want to escape. I bear more in life than most will bear in their lifetime, and I am burned out. I can't go to the hospital. All four of my kids need me. Three have life threatening medical issues and I am their only caregiver. I need my mind sane for their sake. I have no one to talk to about this around here. Please pray for my mind and a strong Christian mentor for me! :(
 

Gracie_14

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
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Surrey, Southern England
#2
Hello SecondHandHippie,

I am saddened to hear this. As a single mother...you must be going through a lot on your own raising these kids. It must be a life drainer for you. I'm sorry if I can't relate cause I'm quite far from being a mother, but I'll be praying for you. That God will give you the strength and wisdom to raise up your beautiful children...that he will grant you the courage to take each day step by step. I understand the depression that comes along with it and I'm really sorry you have no one to talk with about it...do you have any Christian friends that are mothers?
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,187
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Germany
#3
I remember u gave me a angry smiley at another depression post.
I would say the same thing to u that I said to umzza.
Im not saying tell it to leave in the name of Jesus to make fun of it, but because ive cut, tried to strangle myself and have had a really hard time with depression until i rose up from the ashes.
We have authority over it. You can do it. Jesus wont let you down warrior. God loves u
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
6,422
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#5
If you commit suicide, you may be in Hell and your kids may feel the curse in their life.
know that there is always hipe in Lord Jesus Christ.
Lord i pray for SecondHandHippie, please help to come out of depression fill the heart with your thought and remove and destroy the suicidal thought. Lord please turn all the sorrows into joy, . Lord bless SecondHandHippie and this prayer. In Jesus loving name, Amen!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
5,762
1,445
113
#6
Depression is something I can't seem to escape from, no matter how much I focus on the Lord. I'm really struggling tonight with fleeting thoughts of suicide. I'm so burned out. When I think of suicide it seems peaceful to me; like an answer to all of the pain I carry in my bursting, heavy heart. I know it's not. But I feel like there are two of me arguing in my soul. The logical one loves the Lord and knows that suicide is not the answer. She keeps me thinking of my kids, my parents and others who would miss me, but the other one whispers memories of abuse and trauma; of pain and grief. She makes me want to escape. I bear more in life than most will bear in their lifetime, and I am burned out. I can't go to the hospital. All four of my kids need me. Three have life threatening medical issues and I am their only caregiver. I need my mind sane for their sake. I have no one to talk to about this around here. Please pray for my mind and a strong Christian mentor for me! :(

It's going to be ok sister. Our enemy is constantly whispering in our ears things like "if you end it you will have peace" He is a liar, and the father of lies. It is his natural language.

Your Father in Heaven always has His eyes on His little girl. One day you will be with Him. One day we all will. Just not this day. This day He wants you to get up and care for your children, enjoy the sunrise, eat chocolate, give a stranger His Gospel, live for Him. He will bring you Home on His time. Not on the evil one's time.

Dear Father, please renew daily the joy in the knowledge of You in Your daughter's heart. Give her peace, and wash away the pains of the weariness of life. In Jesus Name.
 

EmilyFoster

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2018
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#7
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. I’m praying, asking God to touch you with His healing hand, provide strength and comfort in a powerful way. Please know that I’m lifting up your kids, too, at this time that the Lord will intervene and help them.

Remember that your life is very precious no matter what circumstances you are facing. And, as you may have realized, suicide is never the solution. Also, it might be helpful to get in touch with a counselor. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Hugs to you, sister.
 

Pendleys

New member
Nov 23, 2018
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#8
Hi, I have been there. My 2 kids are 2 years apart. I loved with my husband but I was so alone, it costed me my marriage. I took medications and all kinds of tea but they didn't help. I was afraid to lie on my back because I was stifling. God sent me a messenger the Sabbath after I packed up and left home before my husband got home from his usual drinking binges. She said, he said he loved me and heard me and I was going to be just fine. I got some hugs that day and it all broke me. That was about 10 years ago. I saw my sister got into it and I was quick on the spot, i told her everything she was going through and she sort Jesus and got her healing. I went through it for years, to the world I was okay but inside I was torn. In my heart no one would understand so I know the impulse would be to be locked away in one's own sorrow. I didn't ask God for help cause I felt unworthy and unholy but he looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. Yet tonight I am stressed again, different situation, feeling forsaken even though I got visions, songs, words that God will come through for me, I have been patient a long time. I believe and know that God can but now I am crying asking him what are you waiting on? I feel you.
 
Nov 22, 2018
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#9
Depression is something I can't seem to escape from, no matter how much I focus on the Lord. I'm really struggling tonight with fleeting thoughts of suicide. I'm so burned out. When I think of suicide it seems peaceful to me; like an answer to all of the pain I carry in my bursting, heavy heart. I know it's not. But I feel like there are two of me arguing in my soul. The logical one loves the Lord and knows that suicide is not the answer. She keeps me thinking of my kids, my parents and others who would miss me, but the other one whispers memories of abuse and trauma; of pain and grief. She makes me want to escape. I bear more in life than most will bear in their lifetime, and I am burned out. I can't go to the hospital. All four of my kids need me. Three have life threatening medical issues and I am their only caregiver. I need my mind sane for their sake. I have no one to talk to about this around here. Please pray for my mind and a strong Christian mentor for me! :(
John 10:10 speaks about the enemy that has come to steal,kill and destroy. The enemy is bz stealing ur peace, yr laughter ,yr joy ur peace, but He on the cross said it is finished There for it is finished . What ever you are feeling is a deceite you have to stand up and fight and as christian we fight at our knees God is faithful . I corithians 10: 13 There is no temptation that you going through which is not common to men, God will provide an escape and he has not given you the temptation over yr ability to overcme. He knows you are a strong woman as a single mam I will tell you one thing. For single mams like myslf our children should be our source of happiness, their life should determine our lifes, We live for them, as an orphan I always ask God to allow me to grow old so my child can experience the love of a mother not like me , My child is my dad and my big sis is my mam. God is our source of strength the Lord have send us a comforter and an advocate call upon him cause his always there. His the prince of peace His the vine and we re the branches without him we nothing. Death is the worst thing that can happen to one specialy dying in sin.
 

Sherril

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2017
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#10
Love you dearone, God loves you more sweet heart..My husband and i just prayed Waring on you behalf in Jesus name...love Sherril..Victory in Jesus... 26756271_1835008163178040_4754974775812469979_o.jpg
 
Jan 4, 2019
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#11
Depression is something I can't seem to escape from, no matter how much I focus on the Lord. I'm really struggling tonight with fleeting thoughts of suicide. I'm so burned out. When I think of suicide it seems peaceful to me; like an answer to all of the pain I carry in my bursting, heavy heart. I know it's not. But I feel like there are two of me arguing in my soul. The logical one loves the Lord and knows that suicide is not the answer. She keeps me thinking of my kids, my parents and others who would miss me, but the other one whispers memories of abuse and trauma; of pain and grief. She makes me want to escape. I bear more in life than most will bear in their lifetime, and I am burned out. I can't go to the hospital. All four of my kids need me. Three have life threatening medical issues and I am their only caregiver. I need my mind sane for their sake. I have no one to talk to about this around here. Please pray for my mind and a strong Christian mentor for me! :(
Dear beloved child, my sister in Jesus. Your story touched me. I recognize what you are going trough. Although Jesus can feel everything, that thought comforts me the most. Im a single mom too, also with trauma and abuse history, but i want to leave my past behind and offering my hart everyday to Him. I dont go with the system of the world, who says we need this and that. If i want to lay down i lay down, if i want to stop talking, i stop. I stopped with every yoke i was aware of. Excuses my bad English.
I hope that you will recieve a friend overthere who wants to listen and build you up. I the spirit of God we are one. I will take you with me in my prayers. I cherish youre, kwetsbaarheid in Nederlands, sensitivity.

I thank God for you. Shabbat Shalom