- Jul 8, 2017
Depression is something I can't seem to escape from, no matter how much I focus on the Lord. I'm really struggling tonight with fleeting thoughts of suicide. I'm so burned out. When I think of suicide it seems peaceful to me; like an answer to all of the pain I carry in my bursting, heavy heart. I know it's not. But I feel like there are two of me arguing in my soul. The logical one loves the Lord and knows that suicide is not the answer. She keeps me thinking of my kids, my parents and others who would miss me, but the other one whispers memories of abuse and trauma; of pain and grief. She makes me want to escape. I bear more in life than most will bear in their lifetime, and I am burned out. I can't go to the hospital. All four of my kids need me. Three have life threatening medical issues and I am their only caregiver. I need my mind sane for their sake. I have no one to talk to about this around here. Please pray for my mind and a strong Christian mentor for me!
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