Aw Lynn,
It's hard isn't it.
My aunt was similar but while she was able to talk, she was very confused and
not making sense, so I spent hours at the hospital trying to figure out why
she was getting frustrated and what she wanted.
One day I went to the hospital to find the staff had raised the bed end so she could
sit up in bed but then she began to slide down the very smooth pressure mattress
she was laying on. So they had also raised the foot of the bed but way too high.
I found her in great distress sort of sandwiched in this hollow bit in the middle of the bed.
Anyway I quickly flattened out the bed at both ends and you could see the relief
on her face. I went to tell the staff they should not leave her like that. But a few
days later they did the same thing again with different staff. In the UK the
nursing staff and care assistants work 3 x 12 hour shifts then have 4 days off.
So I went to tell them again in a nice but firm way. After that I just started to
control the bed remote myself and if she got a bit uncomfortable in one
position I just altered it myself for her. This among other things meant spending
many hours at the hospital, although over the last few weeks I've been able
to scale that back.
The first time they get her out of bed in her chair, it was ok at first but after
a while she got too tired I suppose her muscles will have been weak due to
laying down for so long. So I had to also insist the staff move my Aunt back
into bed and do it more gradually. Although there were times when tough
love was needed, there will be with John at times, especially when the physios
get more involved.
Things will improve honest, it will just take a bit of time.
Keep your chin up (good old fashioned phrase means look up stand tall etc, not
be cast down).
Lord I thank you for keeping John safe and for bringing him through this. Give the
staff wisdom to understand John's needs and I pray for the healing to continue.
I pray also for strength and your peace to rest on Lynn.
Lynn take things one day at a time, try not to over think things and just take
it one step at a time. I know it's easy to say that, there might even be times you
will need to be firm with John if he gets a bit frustrated and there may be times
you will need to be his advocate and get firm with the staff speaking up for him.
Dont feel intimidated by the medical setting, after I while I got to the point where
i was as much a part of the medical team as any of the staff at the hospital but in
a different role. I quite happily chatted to the staff and had meetings with all
manner of people on behalf of my aunt.
After a while they started to treat me as an equal rather than a relative and that
helped with communications. It was a bit strange though when I had two meetings
with the mental health staff on behalf of my aunt. I hoped they didn't think I had
climbed out of my tree. Lol.
Ive got to know the staff so well that now they all come to say hello, tell me about
what they did at Christmas, tell me when they have not been well and share
experiences with their own elderly relatives. In short they are human too and
don't know it all and have their own problems.
Maybe that doesn't help you too much just now, but getting to know the staff
and working with them, getting them on side etc, will help so much with
getting John back on his feet again.
Keep that chin up.