Your personal struggle that you "don't know how to get rid of," Jesus got rid of on the Cross. Brother Tim, our flesh will bring us breaking down to the ground again and again (as our Brother Yet stated above) until we come to the realization that there is nothing in our carnal man that desires to follow after God.
That is why Jesus Christ paid the price on Calvary for us -- and personally for you, Tim. There is nothing too hard for the Lord and we must surrender everything to him. Your pride and your self-sufficiency and your desires and all your mind and thoughts - abandon them all wholly to Christ our Savior, in repentance and ask Him to give you His wisdom, His desires, His purpose.
And I agree with sister Butterfly's wise instruction above that you pray to the Lord in your alone time. Seclude yourself in the Presence of God, go boldly to His Throne of Grace and talk to our Loving Father... and listen for the Holy Spirit's Voice in your spirit. Only the Lord has the answers for you and the direction for your life.
The beautiful prayers offered for you above are so precious and priceless and I stand in agreement with them all in Jesus' Holy Name. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and turn only to Him with your life. Grace and peace to you, dear brother!