prayer for an uncertain future

Hey everyone. I have been struggling in a few different ways. I'm getting ready to graduate from university next semester and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I want to get a PhD but I don't know where to apply or even what I want to do. I'm taking a year off to try and get some direction but everything feels so far away. A month ago I had a breast exam and the doctor found an abnormal mass. She said it's probably nothing but that she wants to check again in six months. I've also been struggling with mental illness that has been getting worse. I feel like my body and mind is failing even though I'm so young and my life is just beginning. It has been very hard for me to imagine living like this for the rest of my life. I had all these hopes for my life and I feel like everything is falling apart. I have a bunch of final exams and essays over the next week and I can't find the motivation to concentrate and study. This is very abnormal for me because I'm an honors student at a prestigious university: studying always came naturally to me. But why should I care about a future that isn't guaranteed?

I feel like everything is being ripped away from me and all I can do is cry. I've been praying incessantly, listening to worship music, and reading the Bible throughout each day. Nothing seems to be helping. I cry out to God and I feel like He isn't answering. I have been able to find peace in the pain but there is no joy. I hate my body and mind for failing me.

Please pray for comfort and joy. Pray that I will have a future I can look forward to.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Oh, Emily, I'm sorry for your distress. 😞 There was a time in my teenage years when I felt some of the things you are feeling. I cannot say I understand what you are going through though, because I am not in your shoes. But God sees and knows every little detail. Take comfort in knowing Jesus suffered too and is well acquainted with grief and suffering (Isaiah 53:3). Hugs!

Praying, reading Scripture, and worshipping the Lord are great weapons. It may not feel like headway is being made, but it is wise for you to be doing these things, Sister. 👍 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:7-8

We walk by faith, not by sight.

I imagine these exams and essays are weighing heavy on you. I do not mean to minimize your condition, but perhaps when these stressors are past you will experience relief.

As far as your health, the doctor said it's probably nothing. So do not worry in advance of what "might be". Leave that in God's hands. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Lastly, is there anything in your life that you may need to part with? (I am asking this for you to consider, not necessarily to get a response.) Is there anything in your life that Satan is trying to keep a hold of you by? I urge you to rid your life of anything that could be diverting you from the Holy One or that could be keeping you in bondage... Not sure why I brought this up. I believe I just felt led to write it.


My love goes out to you, Sister. ❤️ P.S. I am still hoping you will be directed to a church to be encouraged by. 😊

"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:23-24

Thank you so much for your response. I am half-way done with my essays and tests and the stress is lessening.

I mentioned in another thread that I have been feeling a lot of guilt and self-hatred lately. It feels like I can't stop hating myself no matter what God has told me. I know that He loves and cherishes me but I just can't see that for myself.

I have not found a church, but I now attend a Christian fellowship with another student from my residence hall. Being in fellowship with other Christians has been a blessing! Thanks again for the thoughtful words and prayer.

Oh, praise Him! I am SO glad to hear that your stress is lessening! 🙌 Thank you so much for posting this. And you are very welcome, Emily. 😊

Girl, the adversary has you in his sights. Never fear, though. Your Advocate prevails. You must resist condemnation. I would encourage you to verbalize the truth- like quote Scriptures and claim them aloud.
Example:
1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
"I have confessed my sins. God IS faithful and He HAS forgiven my sins and purified me from all unrighteousness."

Isaiah 1:18 ""Come now, let us settle the matter," says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
"My sins are as white as snow."

A few days ago I was falling into the condemnation trap too, but I believe God led me to this verse. >>"Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." Psalm 116:7

Our Good Father is gentle, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness. (Psalm 103:8) As you already know. 🙂

One habit that I truly believe has helped me to feel God's love for me personally is practicing thinking of things to be grateful for and thanking Him for them. And the more you do it, the more you will notice all that He does to bless you. Some people would say they don't have anything to be thankful for, but it simply isn't true. >>"...for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:45b (Of course rain is a good thing in this verse.)

Emily, I'm really glad you gave me the update! And I'm glad you're meeting with fellow believers. God bless you, my friend!

❤️"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:17-19

I’m so sorry kiddo. We love you and we pray for you. Trust Christ. Lean on him. Let his will be yours. Sometimes what we want is different from what he wants.

Not to butt in with unwanted advice...and I’m not sure how old you are, but if an abnormal mass was attached to me, i would want an ultrasound now with a follow up in six months. Particularly if you have any sort of history in your family.

Thank you for the advice! It was after I got an ultrasound that my doctor told me to come back in six months!

Oh dear, Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6

Do not give into the enemy, he is inflicting lies to you, let the word of God be your armour against satans attack in your life, he wants to steal your joy, destroying your faith, our mind is the battlefield, but God already won the battle, you just need to be still, give your worries to God, cast all your burdens upon him, take courage, trust God and his words, find a verse that would help you and Meditate it day and night. 🙏🏼 Praying for you.

Lord bless paisleypanther, and this prayer request. Turn paisleypanther's sorrows into joy, in Jesus mighty name, Amen!