Prayer for peace and my relationship

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RachelP03

Guest
#1
I met this guy last August who I feel as God revealed was the one for me. He also got the same confirmation but now is saying Im not the one. I have to admit I was a horrible girlfriend over the past 6 months with issues that carried from my past relationship to this one, with selfishness, insecurities, and trust issues. He is an amazing guy and everything that I asked for in a man to God. I was a jerk last Monday over something stupid he didnt do, which he said he was going to do it, and bugged him all day over it. That night he finds out that his sister who was pregnant was being induced the next day, because her baby died and also same night found out that his dad was having health issues and grandpa might have a year left to live. The same night is when he said he dosent think Im the one. We took 36 hours and prayed about it and came back and I still felt as if he was the one and he said no. I asked to give me 2 weeks because our answers were so different to see if God would change one of our hearts and he agreed. He hasnt reached out or even spoke to me when I did reach out and so I stopped and gave him his space. Im so scared that Im not going to have the man that I dreamed and who I honestly feel in my heart is the one because of all my issues. This is week one and I feel God revealing so much to me with all those that I listed that I never would of known if this would of happened. I also prayed 2 prayers a week before my bf felt these things and it was, "please God break my heart for what breaks yours" and also "Lord mold me into the woman you want me to be". I dont know if this time apart and maybe a few months for now is something we need apart so we can grow, or I can grow to become that woman, because God yells at me that hes the one and I have rebuked the devil in Jesus name, so I wouldnt hear him or get it confused. Im asking for prayer for God to touch my life and his during this time and that we both hear and feel the right thing. Im struggling with giving everything over to God, because Im so worried with Brian and I know I should be focusing on what God is doing in my life right now. I am very dissapointed with myself with everything God has revealed to me. I would greatly appreciate the prayers or any advice!!
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#2
Love, lust and hormones. They get us every time, don't they? And oh the things we attribute to them...

My wife and I knew each other as friends for 13 years before we got engaged. We had other girlfriends/boyfriends and hot romances during that time. But they came and went, while our friendship always stayed around. Sure the hot romance is nice, but isn't what we're really looking for, the friendships that always stay around? That way your wedding isn't a vow for a future relationship, but an acknowledgment of the one that already exists.

So your question is, if you love him enough to be his significant other, do you love him enough to be just his friend? Because it's the time honored friends, not the love lust and hormones, that stick around.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#3
Good advise Ricky, my hubby and I were friends for 5 years before we began to date. :)
Hugs Rachel, Ill be praying for you both and all you ask.

God bless
pickles
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#4
I met this guy last August who I feel as God revealed was the one for me. He also got the same confirmation but now is saying Im not the one. I have to admit I was a horrible girlfriend over the past 6 months with issues that carried from my past relationship to this one, with selfishness, insecurities, and trust issues. He is an amazing guy and everything that I asked for in a man to God. I was a jerk last Monday over something stupid he didnt do, which he said he was going to do it, and bugged him all day over it. That night he finds out that his sister who was pregnant was being induced the next day, because her baby died and also same night found out that his dad was having health issues and grandpa might have a year left to live. The same night is when he said he dosent think Im the one. We took 36 hours and prayed about it and came back and I still felt as if he was the one and he said no. I asked to give me 2 weeks because our answers were so different to see if God would change one of our hearts and he agreed. He hasnt reached out or even spoke to me when I did reach out and so I stopped and gave him his space. Im so scared that Im not going to have the man that I dreamed and who I honestly feel in my heart is the one because of all my issues. This is week one and I feel God revealing so much to me with all those that I listed that I never would of known if this would of happened. I also prayed 2 prayers a week before my bf felt these things and it was, "please God break my heart for what breaks yours" and also "Lord mold me into the woman you want me to be". I dont know if this time apart and maybe a few months for now is something we need apart so we can grow, or I can grow to become that woman, because God yells at me that hes the one and I have rebuked the devil in Jesus name, so I wouldnt hear him or get it confused. Im asking for prayer for God to touch my life and his during this time and that we both hear and feel the right thing. Im struggling with giving everything over to God, because Im so worried with Brian and I know I should be focusing on what God is doing in my life right now. I am very dissapointed with myself with everything God has revealed to me. I would greatly appreciate the prayers or any advice!!
Rachel, I believe I posted a reply to you concerning this in a different forum. I will re-iterate what I said before. This guy has alot of issues going on right now!! His nephew/niece just died, his dad and grandfather are both ill!! Leave the poor guy alone and give him some breathing room for goodness sake. Obviously, since he has told you MORE than once, that he feels you are not the one for him, then maybe you are'nt, so you need to accept that and let him go. Have you considered your being a bit selfish right now, bothering him about YOU when he has much more important things to deal with right now?? He does'nt want you with him as his wife, but I'm sure he would probably love still having you as a friend. Give him time to process what's happening to his family first before you talk to him about it. If God sent him to you as "the one", he would not be putting doubt into this guy's heart about you. I think maybe you want him so desperately that you are wishing God had sent him for you. Satan plants seeds of doubt, not God. What you feel for this guy is NOT from God!! :(
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#5
I disagree lady bug.......I'm not the one with doubt......he is. I have left him alone.....I have prayed for him. I did see him the other night and he told me he loved me but that he hasn't heard a yes or a no......so now his answer changed...he is the one with doubt.....I'm not the one with doubt and I will be just fine without him.....I'm not scared of being single....I didn't want to be in a relationship in the first place but God tore down those walls and I fell in love with him. The truth is... he's struggling on alot more stuff.....he didn't know if he wanted to help his mom with kids at her church ....he dosent know if he should join the church. He's struggling with listening.

I love how quick people think I can't hear from God or they doubt what I hear. Why can't anyone see or think that possible someone else is having a spiritual warfare?

It's all I ask is prayer ......for God to reveal to both of us His plan for our lives. My feelings of him being the one are still there......stronger than ever.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,603
113
#6
I disagree lady bug.......I'm not the one with doubt......he is. I have left him alone.....I have prayed for him. I did see him the other night and he told me he loved me but that he hasn't heard a yes or a no......so now his answer changed...he is the one with doubt.....I'm not the one with doubt and I will be just fine without him.....I'm not scared of being single....I didn't want to be in a relationship in the first place but God tore down those walls and I fell in love with him. The truth is... he's struggling on alot more stuff.....he didn't know if he wanted to help his mom with kids at her church ....he dosent know if he should join the church. He's struggling with listening.

I love how quick people think I can't hear from God or they doubt what I hear. Why can't anyone see or think that possible someone else is having a spiritual warfare?

It's all I ask is prayer ......for God to reveal to both of us His plan for our lives. My feelings of him being the one are still there......stronger than ever.
Rachel, it sounds like the enormity of his doubt is preventing him from hearing/feeling an answer, be it yes or no. He has alot on his mind right now, between family and health issues, and dealing with his relationship with you. Give him time to clear his head so he can focus on the important issue: whether each of you is the one God has ordained for the other. I wish you good luck. :)
 
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blessdani

Guest
#7
Cheer up Rachel,I'll pray for you :)
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,181
113
#8
Lord guide her to be a good child of yours, in this situation help her to show your character and love to others so that they may see you in her and give your praises, Amen