Prayers please.

I graduated from ITT Tech schools last year, earning a massive debt alongside my Associates Degree. I've been unemployed, doing odd jobs for three years, with no end in sight. I spent over a year doing in-home care for a relative with Alzheimer's while I finished school, but now that that is over with, and we've found her a nursing home I am left with whatever $$ I can earn through odd-job computer work, etc.

I'm feeling hopeless, and believe that I have no future. I don't know how that slipped into my head. I used to be such an "on top" person, someone who saw the hope in everything, all the time. But, part of me believes I'm cursed, doomed to fail at everything I put my hand to. That everything I touch turns to ruin and loss. I can't handle the constant rejection by employers. It's become personal due to other influences, and I need a new direction.

My Uncle has been trying to get me to see that I can have what I put my mind to, but it's just not enough. I lack purpose. Motivation has been killed off in my heart. All I can see is a life living off of others, and that makes me feel pathetic. Small. "Lesser".

Please just help me find answers. I think I'm supposed to go into business myself, but I lack the experience and strong motivation right now to do that. (Not to mention the money!!!) If this thing is going to happen, if my life is going to become something I can look at in 50 years and say, "I'm glad I did that", I need to hear from Him.

Thanks in advance.

Michael

Philippians 4:19

You know, I've once and still am gone through something a little similar, I'm incredibly scared of failure and rejection and being a "nobody". My dad always likes to remind me to be "somebody" "BE somebody!!!" (meaning, be successful, make a lot of money, don't be a bum) I've heard it all my life. I see my best friend going through the same thing day in and day out.

But what the heck does being "SOMEBODY" even mean? I know what my Dad means when he says it. I know what the WORLD means when it says it. But what about God?

I can tell you I've been brought to peace (and anxiety on occasion) when I read (Mathew 8:21-23). If I have nothing left in the world. If I have been brought down so far, to live off of garbage from the dumpster and cardboard boxes in alleyways and my friends leave me, and my family leaves me, and the world and people I once knew hate me and think I'm a lazy bum and a disgrace to humanity. Even If I hate myself. I'll still always have at least one thing to follow, and that is Jesus.


Course' all of this is easier said than done, I haven't really picked up my cross yet. But looking back in 50 years (after I've finally make the decision), I don't think I'll regret it. I think we just need to find the courage to pick up our crosses and go.


I hope this gave you even a smidge of hope, but even if it hasn't I'll tell you what I would do: Just go lay at the feet of Jesus, not eat or drink or anything...just lay there, cry and talk to God for a very long time.



praying

Reminds me of...

John 21:18-19 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.

Praying that you find the confidence and to silence the voices of the devil saying" you cant do this" and for you to hear with clarity the voice of our father for the true direct you are to take

Praying that God will give you opportunity in your life, and favor. That he will open a door for your life, for his glory and will. In Jesus Name.If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother, for God is love."
1 John 4:20-21