Stronger prayer and results
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I've seen a few decades, but my age is not really the issue. Instead, I have prayed many times for God's will to be done in my life, and he has stripped me of everything, maybe just for a very long season, so that I might totally devote myself to him and accomplish the purpose for which I was born.
I hope that is the case. If not, then my life has pretty much been a failure, but I do believe that God has led me to this place of absolute surrender. Like I said before, it is a very scary place, but I also believe it is a very necessary place.
Thank you for the welcome.
I hope that is the case. If not, then my life has pretty much been a failure, but I do believe that God has led me to this place of absolute surrender. Like I said before, it is a very scary place, but I also believe it is a very necessary place.
Thank you for the welcome.
I dont want to knock my church but they are nice people and do ok for people not in the church but little for those if not next to nothing in regard to teaching as it is a "brethren style" church of no women speaking hat wearing no new believers family church due to a life of work also and not full time ministry but it is KJV and God has shown me this is the correct bible. My last church was more liberal but more active but NIV and it put me off. I cant get over the liberal / NIV or I would go back. I feel unfed and it led me to self learn and eventually backslide in covid lockdowns. My church is of little to no use to the attendees. There is little else.
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I hate my life most days. I still feel too addicted to "hoping for a better day"; but it never comes, and God delivers little if nothing of significant effect, and my mind is broken now. I cant seem to see a reason to read or bother due to God not protecting me from backsliding when I prayed not to end up in that state, before it happened. I was misled by false info etc for a while. I pray but my heart is not in it any more due to no results of significance and a weak flaky disposition after backsliding (because i do not know what I am doing / going towards / not growing / and too bitter - broken)
What can a loser with no help or money do. I need tons of money to do anything and even God has not provided a Job. If I went against God I could be rich, but it would only end up bad. I feel robbed of life only to have mine thrown down the toilet for not a single reward except salvation when I die. It seems "tilted" and dysfunctional some how.
I really did try to do evangelism but God gave me pushback so I stopped. I was energised in reading and learning but now I feel no reason to bother other than a fear of "ill be attacked by God in some way" if I become lazy and forget God. Etc. I have no hope. Heaven means nothing, only not going to hell and saving others. What does heaven have for me? No wife, no kids, no home I needed for family, no fun activities of exciting new things. There seems to be nothing except living like a monk or sheep contently doing nothing but service, whatever that is.
How can I have hope and energy in the correct way? Everything seems dismal except if I detach in meditation and forget my misery and lack of either "godly prayer delivery/health/wealth/learning/growth/losses/hell and heaven" etc? I do not think this can be helped by anyone. So, this is why I ask for prayer from others who can pray godly things because I am rubbish at prayer also.
What can a loser with no help or money do. I need tons of money to do anything and even God has not provided a Job. If I went against God I could be rich, but it would only end up bad. I feel robbed of life only to have mine thrown down the toilet for not a single reward except salvation when I die. It seems "tilted" and dysfunctional some how.
I really did try to do evangelism but God gave me pushback so I stopped. I was energised in reading and learning but now I feel no reason to bother other than a fear of "ill be attacked by God in some way" if I become lazy and forget God. Etc. I have no hope. Heaven means nothing, only not going to hell and saving others. What does heaven have for me? No wife, no kids, no home I needed for family, no fun activities of exciting new things. There seems to be nothing except living like a monk or sheep contently doing nothing but service, whatever that is.
How can I have hope and energy in the correct way? Everything seems dismal except if I detach in meditation and forget my misery and lack of either "godly prayer delivery/health/wealth/learning/growth/losses/hell and heaven" etc? I do not think this can be helped by anyone. So, this is why I ask for prayer from others who can pray godly things because I am rubbish at prayer also.
Dave, there is a lot of unpack here. Let me start of by saying my brother, I feel horrible for you. I really do and I will surely pray for God's provision in your life. But why don't we try and unpack some of the issues here.
If you could just have 1 thing fixed first. What would that be? Is it a job?
If you could just have 1 thing fixed first. What would that be? Is it a job?