Suicidal

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
27,649
6,148
113
It's not really people I am around most of the time now idk. I don't really remember what I was upset about when I started this thread.
It is an ever present ongoing reality for you that, as far as I can tell from what I have seen you post over a period of time, continues to spiral downwards. Digging in to find the truth of the matter, getting to the bottom of it, would be helpful for you. That is what the steps are for. We examine our behaviours, which increases our awareness regarding how and why we function in the world as we do; we learn what works and is helpful, and what doesn't work and is hurtful, to both ourselves and others, and our lives improve as a result... sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly. Change does take time but we also learn to be patient with ourselves. The tape you listen to within the confines of your own mind sounds quite unkind. Many of us can relate to that. In the rooms they tell us, let us love you until you learn to love yourself.
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
It is an ever present ongoing reality for you that, as far as I can tell from what I have seen you post over a period of time, continues to spiral downwards. Digging in to find the truth of the matter, getting to the bottom of it, would be helpful for you. That is what the steps are for. We examine our behaviours, which increases our awareness regarding how and why we function in the world as we do; we learn what works and is helpful, and what doesn't work and is hurtful, to both ourselves and others, and our lives improve as a result... sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly. Change does take time but we also learn to be patient with ourselves. The tape you listen to within the confines of your own mind sounds quite unkind. Many of us can relate to that. In the rooms they tell us, let us love you until you learn to love yourself.
Sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's okay. I know alcohol is a drug but it isn't the same. I used to abuse some medicine a lot and it would take me to a different world. It was a lot different feeling than alcohol and I don't like to talk about it because it makes me want to get high. I just get really depressed sometimes and drink a lot. I've been feeling a little better though. I am almost done with classes. I know I am going to fail a couple, but I have some ideas for next semester that I think will make it go much better. I'm planning some stuff and work is going okay right now. I know I'll get really depressed again though but idk like it is what it is.
 

umzza

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2015
389
65
28
I think having conversations on here has helped too.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
6,657
4,438
113
65
lawton ok
I think having conversations on here has helped too.
FYI; Alcohol is one of the worst drugs. It works by causing dopamines to be released and also causes acetones to go to the brain. Long term, hardcore addiction can be as harmful as Heroin to the body and LSD to the brain.
 
G

GtrPkr

Guest
I think having conversations on here has helped too.
The Bible is a mirror for the soul my friend... And the first lesson it teaches you is that WE ARE NOT GODS. We all need God's guidance and each other's support and encouragement. YOU ARE NOT ALONE HERE umzza!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
27,649
6,148
113
Sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's okay. I know alcohol is a drug but it isn't the same. I used to abuse some medicine a lot and it would take me to a different world. It was a lot different feeling than alcohol and I don't like to talk about it because it makes me want to get high. I just get really depressed sometimes and drink a lot. I've been feeling a little better though. I am almost done with classes. I know I am going to fail a couple, but I have some ideas for next semester that I think will make it go much better. I'm planning some stuff and work is going okay right now. I know I'll get really depressed again though but idk like it is what it is.
Hello Umzza :) I am glad that having conversations on here has helped you. My hope is that you would make some effort to go to meetings despite any feelings of discomfort you have. Not knowing what to say can be a good thing! It may help you listen better ;):D Listening to others share their pain and suffering helped me to understand my own pain and suffering. It helped me to know that there were words for it, and people courageous enough to explore it, and expose it, in a desire to get better, and that the process of exploring and exposing the pain helped alleviate it.

It has been on my heart to share this with you, since I read it recently with Bob.
It is part of a step so I will leave out the parts that do not yet specifically apply...
You can fill in the blanks :) I filled in some for you ;)


We need strength for our recovery

Because of the difficulties of our illnesses, many of us have felt weak. We believed that we would panic if _____. We doubted that we could go through with it. We may not have realized how much courage it is taken for us to get this far. Because we have thought of ourselves as weak, we may hold back. Our "courage muscles" have gotten a little flabby. We've been running scared.

This is an opportunity to exercise our inner strength and demonstrate our commitment to recover. We take a courageous stand. At first we may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but like an athlete who practices over and over to build up strength and endurance, we take on this exercise of going to meetings with vigor. We gradually develop the skills to maintain healthy relationships, which we seek so desperately in our recovery.


 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
1,870
1,422
113
Hello Umzza :) I am glad that having conversations on here has helped you. My hope is that you would make some effort to go to meetings despite any feelings of discomfort you have. Not knowing what to say can be a good thing! It may help you listen better ;):D Listening to others share their pain and suffering helped me to understand my own pain and suffering. It helped me to know that there were words for it, and people courageous enough to explore it, and expose it, in a desire to get better, and that the process of exploring and exposing the pain helped alleviate it.

It has been on my heart to share this with you, since I read it recently with Bob.
It is part of a step so I will leave out the parts that do not yet specifically apply...
You can fill in the blanks :) I filled in some for you ;)


We need strength for our recovery

Because of the difficulties of our illnesses, many of us have felt weak. We believed that we would panic if _____. We doubted that we could go through with it. We may not have realized how much courage it is taken for us to get this far. Because we have thought of ourselves as weak, we may hold back. Our "courage muscles" have gotten a little flabby. We've been running scared.

This is an opportunity to exercise our inner strength and demonstrate our commitment to recover. We take a courageous stand. At first we may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but like an athlete who practices over and over to build up strength and endurance, we take on this exercise of going to meetings with vigor. We gradually develop the skills to maintain healthy relationships, which we seek so desperately in our recovery.


"Amen" Happy.png
 
May 1, 2019
13
20
3
i have been feeling more down and alone ik god is there but i just dont know how to turn to him for help i just dont know wat to do
 

Journeyman

Well-known member
Jan 10, 2019
736
409
63
Help someone who's worse off than you are.

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: Isa.58:8