Suicide

i am still alive... and still banned... i just want to talk to IzzyBear or ReinItIn... I was trying to get help...

Hi Ki!

You posted a very challenging thread here, and I feel compelled to talk to you as well...

First of all, congratulations for overcoming that compulsion last night (was it last night??).. *hug*

I know that what I have to say may not carry as much weight to you as if, say, reinitin (did i spell that right?) said it, but, I hope you will still find it in your heart to actually hear what I have to say... please... do not hurt yourself, and those who care about you, that way. You may not feel that there are those who care, but open your eyes and please see us. We wouldn't be replying to you if we didn't care.

I am sure you're in a very difficult situation, and you may be feeling super depressed and alone. However, believe me when I say that killing yourself only deprives you of the blessings God will be giving you. Ki, I am saying this from the bottom of my heart: please fight that very wrong compulsion. We are all praying for you, and I believe God will help you overcome. Cry out to Him. Call upon Him. Our Father is bigger than anything you or I can conceive of. He is the Ultimate Power, and He loves you. He is always with you. Know that. Even amidst the darkness, the pain, HE IS THERE AND HE WILL HELP YOU OVERCOME. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GRASP HIS HAND AND ASK FOR HIS HELP.

Ki, I pray that one day, we will be able to talk about this dark time, and how it made you stronger, closer to God, and more able to rise above challenges and fulfill your life's purpose. You're a strong, blessed person, and you have God on your side!!! Remember that always. I look forward to hearing more from you. God bless!!

So far, no one has tried to tear her down here... and if they tried, I'd personally be willing to defend her.
She is a wonderful person.
@Ki: Can you send a PM to Reinitin? Maybe, that way, you can talk to her, and tell her you're not dead.
Just thought I'd point this out, You have a very sweet spirit. And maybe you've heard that "Chuck Norris is the only one who can send a kick through email". But Only a good christian can put a sweet spirit on....pretty much everything. If you consentrate on the sweet spirit that you still have, that could help too.
Stay alive though... This too, shall pass. It won't pass if you die.

ReinItIn just told me that she is the one who banned me... i don't get why she would do that to me... why would she abandon me like that? she says its so that i go see a councilor in person... but i'm too scared.. she was helping me get the courage to do that... but i guess she gave up. and Rein.. if you read this.. this is how i honestly feel..

HEYA KI; I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SAYING THANK YOU TO ME. YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME. I KNOW THAT JESUS REINS IN YOUR HEART EVEN THROUGH THE ROUGH STORM AND IF THE WATERS OF DESPAIR COME OVER YOUR HEAD. JESUS HEALED 10 LEPORDS WHO HAD LEPROSY IN THE BIBLE, AND ONLY ONE TURNED BACK AFTER HE WAS HEALED AND SAID THANK YOU TO THE LORD. JESUS SAID WHERE ARE THE OTHERS, ONLY 1 REMEMBERED TO SAY THANK YOU. YOU ARE SO KIND IN YOUR HEART, I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T HURT A LITTLE BUTTERFLY, YOU HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO SAY THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU WITH THE LOVE OF THE LORD. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DOWN THE ENEMY LOVES GET YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN, SO YOU DON'T GET THE STRENGHT TO GET UP. YOU ARE UP TODAY, AND YOUR SWEET KINDNESS OF JUST SAYING THANK YOU GAVE ME A GOOD SLEEP. PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY /BITTER AT PEOPLE, THE SCRIPTURE SAY NOT TO PUT YOUR CONFIDANCE IN MAN ENTIRELY , CURSED IS THE MAN WHO MAKES FLESH HIS CONFIDANCE. IN THIS LIFE THE MOST AND WORST THING THAT WILL HAPPEN IS THAT PEOPLE HURT OTHERS. WHEN SOMEONE IS HURT, YA KNOW THEY WANT TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE BADLY, & I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT REINITIN, I BELIEVE SHE WAS LEAD AND IS LEAD TO DO HOW THE LORD MOVES IN THINGS, BUT HERES THE THING., I DON'T KNOW YOU & NEVER SPOKE WITH YOU BUT YOU HAVE HEALED A LITTLE PRT IN ME THAT NEEDED JUST YOUR SWEET THANKYOU. YOU KNOW YOUR GOING TO MAKE SOMEONE A GREAT WIFE, AND SORRY ABOUT THE WHAMMY IT JUST SHOWED YOUR NICK NAME ON THE FIRST THREAD WITHOUT ANY COLOR. YOUR A BEAUTIFUL PERSON . THE LORD SAYS HE HAS A FUTURE FOR YOU, SUCH PROMISING WORDS, I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY. JUST A FEW DAYS AGO, THINGS SEEMED DARK, SO DURING MY TIME OF A LITTLE MEDITATION AND PRAYER WITH THE LORD ONE MORNING A FEW AGO, I TOLD THE LORD, JUST WHAT YOUR FEELING AND EXPRESSING HERE, PRETTY MUCH CLOSE TO IT. MY FAMILY DISOWNED ME AND MY DAUGHTER/ BECAUSE THEY NEVER GREW UP IN THE LORD, BABIES, GO TO CHURCH TALK ABOUT THE LORD CARRY A BIBLE ETC. RELIGIOUS. THEY HATE LOVERS OF GOOD, AND DON'T EVEN WANT US TO VISIT THEM/ NOR DO THEY VISIT US, MY DAUGHTER GREW UP NOT KNOWING THE OTHER SIDE OF THEM AND THEY CONTINUE TO GO TO CHURCH. THEIR IS NO REAL LOVE IN THEIR HEARTS, JESUS SAID YOU WILL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, LOVE KINDNESS PEACE LOVE PATIENCE JOY MEEKNESS LONGSUFFERING. TODAY IS SUNDAY AND I AM HERE TYPING TO YOU AND WILL HAVE MY TIME AND FELLOWSHIP WITH THE LORD. THERE IS A LOT OF PAIN THAT I HAVE ENDURED AND ENDURE NOW, BUT FOR THOSE WHO NEVER GROW UP IN THE LORD TO FULL MATURITY, NEVER REALLY KNOW GOD AS FATHER AND THEIR TRUE IDENTITY BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE, HE THAT LOVETH NOT KNOWETH NOT GOD. SO IF IT WASN'T FOR ME PUTTING MY HOPW IN THE LORD THINGS PROBABLY WOULD BE COVERED WITH DIRT NOW, MY LIFE MY FUTURE EVERYTHING, BUT MY LIFE AND FUTURE IS COVERED WITH AND WITHIN THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. I HAVE REACHED OUT HERE ALSO, TO FIND A FAMILY, AND WHAMO HAVE BEEN HIT BY SOMEONE REALLY HARD, WHEN MY OWN EMOTIONS WEREN'T QUITE AT PEACE. INSTEAD OF SOMEONE LOOKING AT MY LAST WORDS OF I WILL PRAY FOR THAT PERSON, I WAS BELITTLED AND LOOKED AND MADE TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE JESUS SAID, THE WORLD WILL HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT OF THE WORLD, IF YOU WERE OF THE WORLD , THE WORLD WOULD LOVE IT'S OWN, THEY HATED ME BEFORE THEY HATED YOU, WOW, INSTEAD OF UPLIFTING ONE ANOTHER I WAS KICKED IN THE HEAD SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, AND IT WAS LIKE DAY SHA VWOE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT ALL OVER AGAIN, REJECTION BY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE CHRISTIANS. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE BANNED, I AM NOT BUT IF THOSE WHO YOU THOUGHT WERE FAMILY IN THE LORD REJECT YOU, IT'S THE SAME. SO LET ME GET BACK TO THE STORY, SORRY I WENT OFF BASE, JUST WANTED TO SHARE THE PAIN THAT HAS BEEN CAUSE TOME HERE, AND THE LOVE THAT YOU SHARED WITH ME BY SAYING THANK YOU, I HEART IF OVERWHELMED WITH YOUR KINDNESS THAT ONLY CHRIST WOULD AND COULD OF PUT THERE, AND IF I COULD PUT THESE TEARS ON THIS NOTE I KNOW YOU WOULD FEEL THE WARMTH OF LIFE AND GOD'S LOVE THAT'S FLOODING THROUGH ME AND OTHERS. TURN THE OTHER CHCK IF YOUVE BEEN HURT AND FORGIVE THIS WILL SET YOU FREE. ONE MORE TIME SORRY ABOUT THE SIDE TRACKS. I WAS PRAYING AND TOLD THE LORD IT'S SO DARK AND I FEEL JUST LIKE YOU SCARED, AND SCARRED. I ASKED FOR ANSWERS, THIS IS WHAT WAS REVEALED TO MY SPIRIT. LIFE IS LIKE A ROAD, A JOURNEY . JUST AS THERE ARE STREET SIGNS, TELLING YOU WHERE YOU ARE AND WHERE YOUR GOING, SOMETIMES WE ARE SIDETRACKED LOOKING AT THINGS IN THIS WORLD, WE LOSE OUR FOCUS WHERE WERE TO BE LOOKING . THERE IS LIGHTS ALL THE WAY DOWN THE ROAD WE TRAVEL ON . SIGNS LIKE STREET SIGNS, SCRIPTURES LIKE JOHN 3; 16 FOR GOD SO LOVED US, SIGN; I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. SIGN; I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS SIGN; FEAR NOT SIGN;MY PEACE I GIVE UNTO YOU SIGN; I CALL YOU FRIENDS SIGN; COME UNTO ME YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY LADEN AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. EACH OF THESE HAS A NAME LIKE JOHN MATTHEW ETC AND A NUMBER, LETS GO TO THE LORDS HOUSE, IN PRAYER, HIS DOORS ARE NEVER CLOSED TO YOU, AND HE WILL HEAR YOU, AND BELIEVE HE WILL HELP YOU. SO IT WAS SHOWN TO ME THAT THE ROAD I AM ON IS NOT DARK BECAUSE THE LORD POSTS ALL THE STREET SIGNS ALONG THE WAY, OH THERES SO MANY PROMISES AND IN THE PSALMS EACH ONE IS A SIGN. THE REASON IT'S NOT REALLY DARK IS BECAUSE WITH OUR NATURAL MIND, THINGS SEEM DARK, BUT IN THE SPIRIT BEING BORN AGAIN OF THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST ACCEPTING HIM AS SAVIOUR, SIGN; THY WORD IS A LAMP UNTO MY FEET SIGN; AND A LIGHT UNTO MY PATH. THESE ARE VERSES; AND ALSO THESE ARE SIGNS. SO DON'T BE AFRAID IT ISN'T DARK, IN YOUR EYES YOU HAVE LIGHT, BECAUSE YOU ARE KIND AND A COMPASSIONATE PERSON, AND YOU WILL BRING A LOT OF LOVE TO SOMEONE YOUR WORDS OF THANK YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE A STAB IN MY HEART IF YOU HURT YOURSELF, WERE ALL ONE IN THE LORD, YOU WILL HURT ME, AND YOU HAVE BROUGHT HEALING TO ME FROM CC WITH YOUR KINDNESS. I LOVE YOU AND THIS IS FROM MY HEART, THERE'S A HUGE I LOVE YOU FROM THE FATHER, THE SIGN; DO YOU SEE IT IN YOUR SPIRIT, JOHN;3 16 FOR GOD SO LOVED YOU . THERE IT IS THE LIGHT THAT SHINES, DO NOT BE AFRAID IN JESUS NAME. FATHER I THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSON, YES SHE IS BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING YOU MAKE AND CREATED IS BEAUTIFUL, SATAN IS DEFEATED AND HIS WEAPONS OF WAREFARE ARE DISMANTELED BROKEN OVER THIS SISTERS LIFE. WE ALL STAND IN AGREEMENT IN PRAYER FOR HER, LIFT HER LORD, BE WITH HER ON LIFE JOURNEY. HELP HER TO KEEP HER EYES FOCUSED ON THE GOOD SIGNS OF HOPE, ENCOURAGMENT, AND YOUR WORD THAT YOU HAVE A PLAN FOR US, NOT A PLOT, A PLAN, NOT FEAR, YOUR GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS STORM, AND YOU WILL BE STRONGER. LUV YA, THANK YOU FOR YOUR THANK YOU. KALYNA HEY LIVE LOVE AND LAUGH I AM FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGHT DIVE INTO THE WORD. YAH

She has some good advice. I know you're scared, I would be too. But you need to try, still

BLUE ANGEL; YOU ARE VERY CLOSE TO HER WITHIN AGE, STAY CONNCECTED WITH HER. I SAY NO MORE HOLY SPIRIT DOES SPEAK AND HE WILL.

I won't give up. thank you all.

Jesus Loves you

Hi: I read this topic thread, and I read it from the beginning to the end: And, im sorry that you were banned, and Reintain couldn't help: But: I feel I can help you: Im kindda like a consular, so maybe I can help you: I don't know if your really saved, and born again, or even read the bible: and the reason I said that is becuase I was looking at the past posts, and everytime someone was meantioning God and Jesus, you didn't really respond to that: It seems that your trying to find a another answer to your problem: And in the past posts, you said " I am sared of myself" When in the bible, it says: GOD has NOT given you a Spirit of fear, but of POWER, Love, And a SOUND MIND: You also said: " Voices in my head are Loud" If you hear this kind of voices, it seems to me an evil spirit is trying to tell you to end your life: And it is NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD: " I just want it all to end becuase there is no way out" If you are really saved, and born again, you would know that there IS a way out: Jesus took your bondages, and layed them at the cross: It's up to you, to beleive and accept that your free, and free from this cutting bondage/ suicide: If you DONT, then your going to be suck in this bondage: " I am scared that the emeny is going to win this time" The emeny has NO Greater Power then God: Only if YOU let him: Are you going to let the emeny to defeat you? Do you want Satan to Win, and steal your soul if you decide to DIE?" " I been praying this whole time, and I can't feel God anywhere:" That's a anther question if your really saved, cause if you were, You haven't been calling out to him: You dont go by feelings, GOd is THERE : That's what faith is about, that's what we do when we pray, wheather you see him in the phyical or not: " I have not connected with Jesus and for what seems like a long time" You may have slide back in your faith, and now you seem like there's no way to go: Noone to turn to: Life or Death: But if you go to Jesus, and repent of your sin, and ask God to take away these demontic sudical thoughts, then he WILL SET YOU FREE: You haven't renew your mind, and your heart: I don't know why you want to commit sudice, but it seems like a demontic infulance, is attacking your mind: And if the devil can attack your mind, he can attack your body: I don't know what kind of demontic infulance you got into: Maybe sudical movies, or books, or something: But whatever your doing that's not of God, it's a demon from the pit of Hell: If you want to be free, you got to rebuke the deamon of sucdie off you, and ask God to set you free, and give you a new start: If you trust him to do that, he will:

It's a Spirit of Death: It's a Demon spirit: You got to rebuke and command and take authority to depart from you: You think that sucide is going to end everything: You think that once you press that trigger or drugs, you think your going to be barried in the ground, with your phyical body? When you die, you don't stay in the ground: You may live in a body now, but when you die, your soul is going to come out of your body, & go to the Judgement of God: Wheather you go to heaven or hell: Life doesn't end when you die, your going to end something here, and your going to start something for entirnty that your not prepard for: Your still alive: It's your soul that's alive: But, if your not really saved, and if you decided to commit sudice, your going to start another world in hell: for entirtany: Life doesnt end once you die: It still continues, and it all depends on your salavation: If your Saved, and if you still want to die: Your moking Jesus: What if you meet him at the Great Judgement: Jesus will say to you: " the fact that you ran away like this, is saying that my blood wasn't able to cover your sins" I would reconsider killing youself, and seeing this fact:

i don't want to kill myself anymore. not right now anyway. sometimes it comes back, but i am working on it so it won't. i am ashamed of what i was going to do. i apologize to everyone.

Ki SO HAPPY TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU. YOUR RIGHT THIS PROBABLY WILL TRY TO COME BACK. A TEMPTATION TO A WEAKNESS TO GIVE IN. THE LAST QUOTE THAT WAS WRITTEN CLEARLY SAYS WHAT TO DO WHEN THIS HAPPENS AGAIN TILL YOU RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU, THIS IS A VERSE YOU KNOW A SIGN; RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU, WHEN YOU START GETTING STRONGER IN THE WORD READ, PRAY MEDITATE LISTEN TO THE QUIET PEACEFULL VOICE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE POSITION TO RESIST THE ATTACK. REBUKE THE SPIRIT OF SUICIDE, DEPRESSION WHAT EVER. LIFE AND DEATH ARE IN YOUR WORDS, AND LUKE 10:19 SAYS WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN POWER AND AUTHORITY OVER THE DEVIL. DO NOT BE ASHAMED FOR REACHING OUT. YOUR THE EVIDENCE OF A MIRACLE THAT HAS HAPPENED, DON'T BE ASHAMED ESPECIALLY FOR ASKING FOR PRAYER. I AM PROUD OF YOU THAT YOU HAVE MADE THIS DECISION. IT SHOWS YOU ARE A RESPONSIBLE PERSON. WE ALL HAVE A FREE WILL, AND I WANT TO THANK GOD FOR HELPING YOU THROUGH THIS. WE TOUCH EACH OTHERS LIVES, IN THE GOOD AND IN THE BAD BECAUSE GOD TAKES IT AND TURNS IT INTO A MIRACLE. LIKE THE WATER WAS TURNED INTO WINE THE MIRACLE JESUS DID AT THE WEDDIING. CONTINUE TO HAVE CONTACT WITH THE LORD IN PRAYER, I MAKE IT A POINT NOT TO LEAVE WITHOUT PRAYING FIRST. PRIORITY PRAYER ON THE LIST FIRST. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT WE ARE LIVIING IN PRESSURED AND TROUBLED DAYS, BUT THE WORD SAYS THOUGH THE CITY AROUND ME BURNS TO THE GROUND, I SHALL NOT BE MOVED, MEANING OUR PEACE AND CONFIDANCE IN GOD WILL PREVAIL, AND NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER. IT IS A STATISTIC THAT 90 % OF PEOPLE WHEN ASKED IF THEY EVER HAD THESE THOUGHTS 90 OR WHAT EVER THE NUMBER WERE SAID YES, BE STRONGE BE COURAGES, BE CONFIDANT KNOWING YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER CARETH FOR YOU. HE SAID, HE KNOWS WHEN ONE LITTLE BIRD FALLS TO THE GROUND AND CARES FOR THEM AND HOW MUCH MORE DOES HE CARE FOR YOU. YES IT IS HARD SOMETIMES TO BE A CHRISTIAN, BUT THE DECISION IS YOURS, AND I AM BLESSED TODAY THAT YOU HAVE BROKE THROUGH THE DARKNESS. KEEP BELIEVING WHEN DOUBTS, AND DISCOURAGEMENT HEADS YOUR WAY TAKE THE RIGHT ROAD AND KEEP READING THE SIGNS THE WORD, IT WILL BREAK THE DARKNESS INTO PIECES ACTUALLY, LUKE 10:19 SAYS YOU SHALL CRUSH THE CURSE OF DEATH UNDER YOUR FEET IN JESUS NAME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT NOT BEING BANNED THE ADMIN IS ROPO OP AND I KNOW YOU CAN SEND AN EMAIL. PLEASE DON'T CRY, BECAUSE THIS ROOT ALL STARTED FROM DEPRESSION TO BEGIN WITH. THANK YOU AGAIN, FOR YOUR VOICE BACK TO YOUR PRAYER PARTNERS, IT ENCOURAGES US TO KNOW THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. I BLESS YOU AND ASK THE LORD TO PROTECT YOU PSALM 91 PLEASE READ JOHN: 17 JESUS PRAYED PROTECT US FROM EVIL. YES WHAT EVER THINGS OF THE OCCULT/BOOKS RENOUNCE IT, IT COULD BE A DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY FOR EVIL TO OCCUPY YOUR MIND, INSTEAD OF THE WORD OF GOD. YOU ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED WITH GOD AND WITH ALL.

Thank you jkalyna, you have many kind words. i am no longer banned either. thanks for all of your kindness

WATER INTO WINE; YEPPIE!!!!!!NOW YOU CAN GO BACK AND HAVE FUN!!!!

I know, sometimes it comes back, but be strong for all you hold dear, and hold God closer. If you ever need any more help, just PM me.
If you lived a little closer, I would go to you, just to give you a hug.
Don't be ashamed of feeling that way, most of us, who have been here for you, have been through it too. Don't be ashamed. You're still God's child, and he still loves you, and so do we. :heart:

thanks BlueAngel

Listen to the part that does not want to die
I tried to kill myself twice but the Lord saved me both times
Life is truly good.
I know that now.
Please don't give up.

Did I help? If I did, i was happy to help you

Everyone who has replied on this thread has helped, even just a little bit