To much to handle

Hey guys! I am new here and I feel quite greedy for this being my first post. I have run out of options and just looking for some sort of human support while I wait patiently for Gods plan to unfold. I would like to go ahead and apologize for any grammar mistakes I may make I am very emotional.

Recently my life has turned to shambles. Last year I graduated high school and I felt closer to God than I ever had! My pure desire to seek him and to know him would be a blessing to my heart if I can get back to it. I believed my faith was strong enough for me to go into college and make an example to everyone else around me about Gods love. I made bad decisions what turned from me supporting new friends when they came back drunk turned into me coming back drunk.

I attended several youth groups but my heart no longer longed for him only my mind! Looking back I am a hypocrite to all I believe and all I have preached and I feel like my sins are finally catching up to me.
This summer has been the worst 2 months of my life. To sum it up short I have almost bankrupted my family and embarrassed myself to shame. On top of all this I just recently returned from a family member’s funeral, and I miss him oh so dearly.

At the beginning of the summer I got a spending ticket going 25 over on my way home from the beach. There was a really cute girl in the back seat that wanted to get home asap and I wanted to feel important. This cost me a handful of money and I am gracious of my family’s support on the issue. Exactly a month later I got another ticket going 15 over. Once again my family’s support has been amazing. I have yet to take the initiative to go to driver’s school and feel horrible now about not doing it.

The worst part of my summer is this. My family really urged me to become a residential adviser and so I applied. I was than wait listed, meaning if someone drops out I may have their spot. I recently got a call Saying a position has opened up in a residential hall would you like to accept.(Not word for word but best my memory can serve) I thought this was for an RA job and turns out it wasn’t. I accepted the offer and was happy to tell my family the good news. In fact the last words I remember my grandfather saying to me before passing away was how proud he was of me for the RA position. My father already spent the money he would have saved on the Dorm room on fixing the house. There is now a bill waiting to be paid for the room I switched into, which happens to be more expensive. I really need support on this issue I do not know where I am getting the money for this and I do not deserve my family’s support once again.
On top of all this there is a reoccurring girl in my life. She is beautiful smart and supportive of me. She believes in God but it is not a top priority. She used to be a party girl and is convincing me she is no longer as wild as she used to be. I am currently head over heels for her but I do not know if this is a relationship god wants me in.

I am sorry we have to meet in such personal terms but my heart is crying to you to help me get closer to God. I have been praying to god and I know he will come through! I know this is part of his plan but he put the church together so we can support each other in these desperate times and that is why I have come to you. Please keep me in your prayers.

heyy wut up Schwager, man don't forget what Jesus did for us on the cross. No matter how far away from him you went, his grace still can catch you if you let him. 1john 1:9 says "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Dude there was a time in my life when i was swallowed in guilt and shame because of the choices i've made. I've got in lust, porn, you name it.. But when i brought my sins before God...and let Jesus' blood cover me, all guilt and shame left me, and no matter how messed up my life seemed, God had it all worked out.
Man he'l do the same for you if you let him, and always know i'm here.

~josh

Firstly I agree with Josh about the grace of God!

Schwager, I would be honored if my sons grow up to be one such as you. I want you to stop the self condemnation right now. There is no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. Do you fully understand that you feel guilt needlessly? What you need to do is make decisions. Decide no more speeding cause your fam cant afford it and your flesh really doesnt need it. You can speed again when you have the resources to pay your own tickets. In the meanwhile write down these "gifts" and you can repay once you are settled and have an income. Make sure you do write them down and commit yourself to pay. I know you are busy with school and being young and in the prime of your life. I do think it is absolutely to your benefit to go to the Lord with all things. All decisions & continue living your life as the Lord would have you do while Gods plan unfolds in your life. so often we wait for a "sign" from God so we sit in limbo doing nothing waiting for a "word". I think you should get on with getting on, start your life & when you head in the wrong direction you will be corrected.

I'm sorry about your loss of your gramps and your feeling like you let him down & somehow unintentionally deceived him. He would totally understand and say thats ok my boy thats ok. Anyway I pray the Lord would just wrap his arms around you and comfort you.

Stop letting satan fill your head with lies about yourself for he will create stumbling blocks if you allow him. Bless your heart as you fellowship here.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God & all God's righteousness... this is a HUGE verse & so very important to those wishing to have Gods will in their life. You are obviously in tune with the Holy Spirit for you spoke of knowing that the speeding was of the flesh. Well, just start listening a little more is all. You can still be exactly who you are for you are perfect in your imperfection. Start your day right & you will be right cause it'll just sort itself out, the day will, cause you prayed & read a little about our Lord and his will for you.

Stop condemning yourself believe me, your offenses are unoffensive in the grande scheme of things. You are a good boy. lol.

Bless your heart.

Hey. I'm sure you'd prefer the advice of someone much older and wiser, but I just felt like putting my two cents in. These past two months have been the worst for me too, but God always kept me close to Him and I managed to get through it all. Even now I got problems and issues, but I keep going and don't worry about it. God will take care of me and you, you just have to have faith. Pray about it. It feels like you have quite the hand full. Give it all to God. I know that you're probably looking for a different answer than all that, but I'm not all that educated in those difficulties right now, so... yeah.

Hope this helps! God bless you!!! I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers.

Schwager,Josh has given good advice, Jesus already payed the price for you, and confession is good for the heart.
Its alot more painful to hide the truth than to tell it. As a mom with children your age and older I can tell that you have parents that love you. I also know that even though they may be dissapointed, they will be even more if you did not come clean with them. There is still plenty of time to work out solutions, its the last minute stuff that drives us parents nuts.smiles
Give all to Jesus , He trully loves you and understands.
You are in my prayers , along with your parents.
In Jesus, God bless. pickles

Pancake never doubt what god can do your words were beautiful and meant alot that we shared something in common in this. No matter your age god can use you! In a place like this im sure age has nothing to do with your heart. I really do thank you all for your support and I feel alot better just talking about it openly the hard part will be tomorrow when im faced with difficult decisions following this! and for that I need your prayers!

you r in my prayers Schwager.

Aw. Shucks. Thanks. I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers.

GOD is a good GOD.
He is your heavenly Father, and He never lets His son be overcomed by problems and shames.
give Him all your worries and burdens.. He will give you rest.

I myself made a huge mistake that had embarrassed my family before.
i realized my mistake earlier so it didn't get worse. but still, it kept hunting me for 2 years.
all i was thinking then was that GOD will not forgive me, my family is so unlucky to have me and many things like that.

but GOD didn't forsake me. He saved me and gave me the chance to be redeemed.

though your sins be red as crimson, He will still forgive you.

GOD loves you.. and so do I.
GOD Bless!