G
I have had a rough ride in life, and I hope God knows it and sees it. That being said, I have wanted to die, and have made some minor to moderate attempts, for years. Before I became a born again Christian I was on a path to destruction and suicide. My new faith has quelled that for a time, but the desire is back and I've gone to points where I bash my fist into my chest in hopes that it will weaken my heart and pave the way for cardiac arrest in the future. I hate my life, and I hate this terrible world. I truly hate it. Sure there are days when I feel good, but the fact is the terrors are everywhere, and I can't take it anymore. I've become a recluse with stolen dignity and potential. I truly pray to be taken, and let God be glorified for His mercy. I will never be fit for the Kingdom of God, and certainly not in this way. It's always God's grace we rely on anyway. I don't want a plan to prosper me in this life anymore. I just want to be taken and never return. I am praying for mercy and death. The journey is too great, and there is no realistic hope. All I've done is fall further away. It's hopeless. I want to die, and I say that with a stable mindset. Thank you all for your prayers asking for mercy, and I hope anyone who seeks the same from The Lord God will receive the same. Many succumb to their own devices and lose their souls. I pray it isn't so in this world anymore but that God finally intervenes for those who have no hope and takes them from this warped age if they seek the one true God and ask it in His name. Thank you all in Jesus Christ name Amen