I am praying that God will put people around you, in close proximity, that you can talk to and can help you with these feelings. Jeremiah 29: 11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to PROSPER you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE." ❤️🙏❄️
And I know how hard it gets, bc it can feel like God is just keeping us around for everyone else, but not ourselves -- and frankly, especially when we're young, that just doesn't seem fair. It's hard to feel like our pain is kept around for the benefit of lessening others' misery.
Hi Enril, I really hope you have people at your church that you can trust and talk to. I can relate to everything you're saying. When I was a teen, I didn't think I'd live to be 19. When I reached 19, I didn't think I'd make it to 25. When 25 came, things really hit the fan and... Well, God still has me here. I understand much of what you're feeling. <3
A beloved church mentor once taught me that I could pour out my heart to God, about anything, at any time, no matter what I'd done or how angry I was, and I hope He will instill that in your heart, too. Praying for you, Enril! <3
I was also thinking about how you said everything seems meaningless. I've felt this many times too. And when God told me I needed to keep going for other people, I told Him I didn't see how because I didn't feel like I could keep up with life myself. I was just reading Ps. 61:8 and thought of you: "Trust in Him at all times, you people; POUR OUT YOUR HEART BEFORE HIM."
I wish there was more I could do to help. Please keep seeking someone to talk to, especially when are starting to feel overwhelmed. How do you feel about the changes coming to your life? Would it be ok if I put your name on the list of prayer requests in some groups I attend? I am praying that God will surround you with His love and make it more real to you than ever. <3
The devil wants us to feel too ashamed, too far gone, too much of a failure to go to God, but that's when His love for us really shines through. I know faith can be messy, but that's what keeps me believing -- the fact that no matter what mess I've made or gotten myself into, God still accepts me and loves me as I am. And I know He loves you.
Hi Enril -- I know sometimes it probably seems like nothing, but I'll keep praying for you. I used to self-harm too. I hope God pulls you out of that as He did for me. No matter what sins we commit (and we all have habitual sins,) He wants us to come to Him about them, even when we feel at our worst. I am so sorry and concerned about you! I think you said you were talking to your youth pastor? I hope so.
Hi Enril! Things are going ok -- thanks for stopping by! I'm always a little more retrospective (i.e., moody! Lol!) in the dark, winter months. How have you been? Still praying for you! :)
Lol! I think I'm going to need a bigger paddle. That pot keeps getting bigger and bigger! :D So glad you're feeling better! It's awesome to know we could be of some help. I kind of come and go as life gets busy but Lynx is almost always here, and I'm sure he'll be happy to chat with you if I'm not around. Thanks so much for the kind words! ❤️
my profile image explained.
Heart:
Black; for the darkness that has tainted us.
Red; his blood, purifying us.
White; what he has purified.
Outer Circle:
Black; for our sin we commit.
Orange; for our burning guilt.
Brown; for the dried husk we become.
Blue; the icy clarity of our sin after the cycle.
1
1
2
