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changes. well, i have to remain strong, putting others above myself, my family doesn't even know that i am not happy with it, because i have to remain confident, have to stay firm. absolutely, please do.

thanks fpr asking. praying for you too :) doesnt retrospective mean thinking past? i do that a lot too. where i pick up a book and fall into an almost trance, just remembering life before or during the darkness. and then wake up a few minutes later and just be like 'huh? oh, yeah, i was...

the past is or can be a barrier, dont know how to be ready, don't know if my memory can be a problem, can't fix my memory, and in general am lost and confused.

extremely confusing. and the worst part is that it only seems to forget good things, and some bad, but mostly good. My pastor has been going through the book of ecclesiastes, the pointlessness of toil, and all that, and it is only driving me deeper into that listless, empty feeling. like, what...

ly failing, i cannot remember things that happened just moments ago, and the only thing constant is the terrible things i've done. ever heard 'gratitude' by brandon lake? it was the final push for me getting saved. it helps me now. my memory is starting to be indistinguishable from my dreams, i...

good.... ish. I have been moody. i have been getting more depressed lately. i accidentally used a porn creation ai tool to do something wrong to someone i know, and have been going hard about that. meaning i have written drawen on myslf and given myself a new scar and a huge area of light...