I am not really good at putting down to iPad or to PC my thoughts so please bare with me . I hope this dose not come off as too stiff , or impersonal .
I was born at Hahn Air Force Base in, Germany ( Dad was in the U.S.Air force)I have two younger sisters one born here in the U.S.A. an the other in Italy . My family would be considered more or less Christian. We attended Church services (Church of Christ ) until I was around 8 or 9 . Why we stopped going I can not say . It was for some personal reason my parents had . I know that I attended Sunday school ,but I can not remember anything about it, the only thing I got out of it was a little certificate that my mom held on to until she gave it to me about a few years back .
I can remember what I thought about God . He was this judgmental finger waging ,robe wearing figure right out of a renaissance painting . Jesus , was more or less the same except younger . I knew little about the Bible . I only knew a few of the more famous stories . Most of the stories about God an the Bible came from movies an similar sources. Needless to say my view of God an His Word was shallow at best if not completely wrong .
Around the time I turned 14 or 15 I was sure that there was no God . Things just did not add up . This 2 dimensional God who was a unloving peeping tom looking over my shoulder all the time an passing judgment on me for no reason did not make sense .God went the way that Santa did 8 years earlier . From then until I was around 28 or 29 I never gave God much serous thought .
Just a month or so past my 28th or 29th birthday ( can't remember ) I hit bottom I had lost my job with the Maricopa County's Sheriff's Office , an was divorced too . I was a drunk an a frequent drug user . I needed help . I went where I thought I could get it . I went to A.A. . Those folks had something, a lot of them got back on to there feet . So why not me ? When I got there I found out that I needed God, humm I thought to myself. ok I will give it a try . I stayed with A.A. a few years ,an stayed sober for a few years but the God thing I did not get . I tried but I could not believe .
I was sober again an on my feet but no God I was ok with that . I stayed that way going through life . I got married again in 1999. The wife an I had a little girl , we purchased a house in 2002 . Every thing was fine in life I did not need anything more .
Then in the fall of 2003 something hit me , after a long bout of depression and sitting in the desert in my car with a gun to my head .I can't explain why ,but I needed to read the Bible . No one sad anything to me it was this overwhelming need . Over the next few days I started to read it an realized everything I knew about God was wrong ! God was not what I thought He was . Then something unexpected happened I BELIEVED . I am not sure of the day or time. I only remember that one day I realized there is a God he found me , an He had laid down His life for me . God was not this finger waging figure .He is a heavenly father full of love and Grace.
God saved me in His perfect timing . It was no sooner that I believed an had a basic grasp of my new Christian walk than my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer . God knew I could not make it through the next 9 months without a belief in a loving God . There were Many times I just had to rely on God to get me an the family through some hard times . My Dad did pass away in early 2005 an I was sadden, but I do know that I will see him with our heavenly father .
Over the next few years I have started to attend a good God centered Church ,an was baptized , and my wife and I had another child . I am still growing though an have much to learn . One thing for sure though God will lead my way .
I hope this makes sense
Your brother in Christ
Bill
I was born at Hahn Air Force Base in, Germany ( Dad was in the U.S.Air force)I have two younger sisters one born here in the U.S.A. an the other in Italy . My family would be considered more or less Christian. We attended Church services (Church of Christ ) until I was around 8 or 9 . Why we stopped going I can not say . It was for some personal reason my parents had . I know that I attended Sunday school ,but I can not remember anything about it, the only thing I got out of it was a little certificate that my mom held on to until she gave it to me about a few years back .
I can remember what I thought about God . He was this judgmental finger waging ,robe wearing figure right out of a renaissance painting . Jesus , was more or less the same except younger . I knew little about the Bible . I only knew a few of the more famous stories . Most of the stories about God an the Bible came from movies an similar sources. Needless to say my view of God an His Word was shallow at best if not completely wrong .
Around the time I turned 14 or 15 I was sure that there was no God . Things just did not add up . This 2 dimensional God who was a unloving peeping tom looking over my shoulder all the time an passing judgment on me for no reason did not make sense .God went the way that Santa did 8 years earlier . From then until I was around 28 or 29 I never gave God much serous thought .
Just a month or so past my 28th or 29th birthday ( can't remember ) I hit bottom I had lost my job with the Maricopa County's Sheriff's Office , an was divorced too . I was a drunk an a frequent drug user . I needed help . I went where I thought I could get it . I went to A.A. . Those folks had something, a lot of them got back on to there feet . So why not me ? When I got there I found out that I needed God, humm I thought to myself. ok I will give it a try . I stayed with A.A. a few years ,an stayed sober for a few years but the God thing I did not get . I tried but I could not believe .
I was sober again an on my feet but no God I was ok with that . I stayed that way going through life . I got married again in 1999. The wife an I had a little girl , we purchased a house in 2002 . Every thing was fine in life I did not need anything more .
Then in the fall of 2003 something hit me , after a long bout of depression and sitting in the desert in my car with a gun to my head .I can't explain why ,but I needed to read the Bible . No one sad anything to me it was this overwhelming need . Over the next few days I started to read it an realized everything I knew about God was wrong ! God was not what I thought He was . Then something unexpected happened I BELIEVED . I am not sure of the day or time. I only remember that one day I realized there is a God he found me , an He had laid down His life for me . God was not this finger waging figure .He is a heavenly father full of love and Grace.
God saved me in His perfect timing . It was no sooner that I believed an had a basic grasp of my new Christian walk than my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer . God knew I could not make it through the next 9 months without a belief in a loving God . There were Many times I just had to rely on God to get me an the family through some hard times . My Dad did pass away in early 2005 an I was sadden, but I do know that I will see him with our heavenly father .
Over the next few years I have started to attend a good God centered Church ,an was baptized , and my wife and I had another child . I am still growing though an have much to learn . One thing for sure though God will lead my way .
I hope this makes sense
Your brother in Christ
Bill
