I need to give thanks to God.
I've been thinking all day about what 9/29 means to me..
You see last year around June I had found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned nor was I married. (Still not married) I was scared out of mind. Not fear of being alone raising a child but fear of my body not being able to carry full term due to my bone disease. I wanted to pray and ask God to be with me but honestly I was too afraid to pray. I hadn't been living right and my relationship with the Lord was very rocky. He was holding onto me but I wanted nothing more than to hide and run from Him.
I went throughout my pregnancy dealing with the fear and pain. Around 19 weeks something didn't feel right.. I went to be checked but the doctor said I was over reacting. Still I didn't pray. A few weeks went by and at 21 weeks I couldn't handle the pressure I was feeling in my hips so I went to the ER. The ER doctor said he wasn't sure what was going on but he didn't want to do any test for fear it would hurt my baby. Still I couldn't find the strength to pray. A few weeks later when I was 23 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy I was sent to a high risk to check on my body and make sure my baby was okay and growing well.
Before I left the house, I finally broke down and prayed.
I asked God to take my fear away then I thanked Him for allowing me to make it as far along as I was without miscarrying. I thanked Him for giving me the strength to be able to handle the pain I was in. I asked Him to help me love Him without fear.
I made it to the doctor. They checked on my baby and said everything looked fantastic. Then they checked me and I heard words that will hurt me forever. "You're in early labor. We need to admit you now." That was 9-29-2014.
I was afraid, upset with myself.
But God gave me a sound mind.
The doctor said I would have my child that day and he wouldn't make it.. I heard God's voice saying this wasn't true. I heard Him say trust in me and pray. I prayed for hours without stopping. I felt myself letting go of my fear. I felt safe and loved for the first time in a long time. I felt myself giving my life to God as if it were the first time. I could hear Him saying "Trust Me, My plan is and will be what is best for you."
9-29-14 is the day God took my heart and healed me.
I've never been more thankful.
12 days went by and I had thought God was going to heal my body and allow me to make it full term.
I was wrong and I'm thankful I was.
October 11, 2014 my beautiful son was born at 25weeks and 4 days. I trusted God and He took care of my baby. 87 day in the NICU and he came home.
Eli was born too soon and it wasn't what I had expected. God didn't do anything I was expecting. But He did what was needed to get to me.
Sometimes we ask for things but God has other plans..better plans.
We sometimes become distance and scared but God stays with us.
God reminded me on 9-29-14 how lucky I am to have Him. How blessed He makes my life and how I always need Him.
I'm thankful everyday for Him.
I'm thankful He never gave up on me.
I've been thinking all day about what 9/29 means to me..
You see last year around June I had found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned nor was I married. (Still not married) I was scared out of mind. Not fear of being alone raising a child but fear of my body not being able to carry full term due to my bone disease. I wanted to pray and ask God to be with me but honestly I was too afraid to pray. I hadn't been living right and my relationship with the Lord was very rocky. He was holding onto me but I wanted nothing more than to hide and run from Him.
I went throughout my pregnancy dealing with the fear and pain. Around 19 weeks something didn't feel right.. I went to be checked but the doctor said I was over reacting. Still I didn't pray. A few weeks went by and at 21 weeks I couldn't handle the pressure I was feeling in my hips so I went to the ER. The ER doctor said he wasn't sure what was going on but he didn't want to do any test for fear it would hurt my baby. Still I couldn't find the strength to pray. A few weeks later when I was 23 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy I was sent to a high risk to check on my body and make sure my baby was okay and growing well.
Before I left the house, I finally broke down and prayed.
I asked God to take my fear away then I thanked Him for allowing me to make it as far along as I was without miscarrying. I thanked Him for giving me the strength to be able to handle the pain I was in. I asked Him to help me love Him without fear.
I made it to the doctor. They checked on my baby and said everything looked fantastic. Then they checked me and I heard words that will hurt me forever. "You're in early labor. We need to admit you now." That was 9-29-2014.
I was afraid, upset with myself.
But God gave me a sound mind.
The doctor said I would have my child that day and he wouldn't make it.. I heard God's voice saying this wasn't true. I heard Him say trust in me and pray. I prayed for hours without stopping. I felt myself letting go of my fear. I felt safe and loved for the first time in a long time. I felt myself giving my life to God as if it were the first time. I could hear Him saying "Trust Me, My plan is and will be what is best for you."
9-29-14 is the day God took my heart and healed me.
I've never been more thankful.
12 days went by and I had thought God was going to heal my body and allow me to make it full term.
I was wrong and I'm thankful I was.
October 11, 2014 my beautiful son was born at 25weeks and 4 days. I trusted God and He took care of my baby. 87 day in the NICU and he came home.
Eli was born too soon and it wasn't what I had expected. God didn't do anything I was expecting. But He did what was needed to get to me.
Sometimes we ask for things but God has other plans..better plans.
We sometimes become distance and scared but God stays with us.
God reminded me on 9-29-14 how lucky I am to have Him. How blessed He makes my life and how I always need Him.
I'm thankful everyday for Him.
I'm thankful He never gave up on me.
