Beauty from the Ashes-why Jesus still has scars.

Every woman has a deep, God given desire to be found beautiful. In children’s stories that we are read there are princesses in danger, waiting to be rescued by a love so strong it can conquer a dragon. But what makes the princes and brave knights run into the danger? Most of the maidens or princesses are worth rescuing only because of their exceptional beauty. Beauty and power is what its all about on the earth, right? Of course in today’s world everywhere you look you are being promised remedies for a thinner, newer, better you.

To quote a youth and culture expert Mary Pipher-“Our entire culture- children and adults alike- is living a lifestyle that screams, “I am what I look like.”

I struggle with believing that lie. Women desire beauty because the world says it brings power and control. Admit it! Men and women alike- Don't we think that women who look “perfect” have more power over themselves and others? I remember when I started seeking after beauty. I was six. I had just had a very extensive operation- seven surgeries in one. Since I had grown up seeing the scars on my face, I accepted them as just the way it was. I didn't know anything different. I knew l looked different but I was never really bothered by it. But after the surgery everything changed. The only way I can think to describe it is like this. Say you were born missing a finger. Yeah, you know its different but it just always was that way. Now imagine that you lost another finger in an accident. You feel the loss of that, you know? More than you would the finger that had always been lost. …Ok, that was a totally lame example! Hah! But anyway, though I knew I looked different, I didn't really notice until my appearance changed. Also, children are a blessing from God but MAN can we be cruel! I bet every single one of you can remember, to this day, the name of a child that bullied you.

I was around the age that children started bullying and I had also discovered the debased bodies of the pornography industry, so it was quite a wake up call for me. Every little girl dreams, but little girls grow up. I was big time stuck on image, but responded in the less common one-of-two ways that women do. Most girls that struggle will find a standard of beauty and do everything they can to meet that mark. I, like many other women who feel they will never be able to compete or compare, swung to the opposite end of the spectrum. I traded my dresses, ribbons and pearls for sweat pants, slouching and mud. My older brother became my example and I followed diligently after him as he climbed trees, blew up frogs with M-60’s and searched for arrowheads in the rocks. But in the midst of childhood illusion and rebellion from what I really wanted most to be, there was One who, through it all, called me beautiful.

Grim....gahh words fail me.... you are helping me more then you'll ever know

Rev. 12:10-11

Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, "Now salvation, and strenght, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ

have come, for the accuser of the brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their tesimony,

and they did not love their lives to the death.

Arise and shine for your time has come!

The Glory of God, is going to shine so brightly for you in these last days!

This is so real, this is what a dying world needs to hear!

Let your light shine!

Bless her Lord with the same measurement as she gives freely to others, may she recieve a huge harvest 100 fold return,

for she freely gives it all back to You!

Bless her Lord!

Your testimony is powerful, Grim, and the eloquence in which you share it cannot be matched. Thank you.

beautiful......simply beautiful

The Little Prince is pretty amazing...

I found it in Barnes and Nobles once, and had to read it straight through...for like my 22nd birthday a girl I knew gave it to me and I read it every day for like a month and then like once a week afterwards, for a while...anyway, I am still trying to spiritually understand and apply everything Saint de exupery wrote...I thought about getting a tattoo on my lower back of the little prince on his planet with his rose, staring into the galaxies...

God bless
tony

Wow Grimmy, your story is truly inspirational...and you have no idea how much I am relating to this. Thankyou so much for sharing!

Grim, thank you for sharing. You're story is very inspirational. I can't imagine what that must have been like, but just know that everyone here at CC loves you and knows how beautiful of a person you are, on the inside and out!

Grim,
I really loved this:
"And this God was there, even when I didn't know it- pursuing me, calling my heart, and working on setting up the events that would bring me to Him"

I think that is so true for any of us that God really get a hold of. Amazing story, I agree you are beautiful.
Peace

-Grim

I am BLOWN away at how incredible your testimony is- WOW! Thank you SOOO much for sharing! Cannot wait for more.

lots of love,
ashleyrachael

The devils been trying to kill me all my life. I finally learned God and he put his power in me and gave me his sword. I don't put up with the evil one anymore. Tell satan to get away from you in the name of Jesus. And mean what you say. Draw a line in the sand and tell satan no more. You aren't takeing anymore from him ever. Or keep laying down and let him walk all over you. It's up to you not him. God bless you Love

I think I´ve read your testimony like four times already and everytime I read it,

it really touches my heart.

Thank you again for it!

God bless you!!!!!!!!!

Wow.. that was soo touching and inspirational.. and the way you wrote..wow is all i could say.. thanks grim for sharing
That testimony is a breakthrough for Alot of people out there

I’m going to be honest. Since this is my story, you need to know this is also my struggle. I hadn't written because I lost my ground again, I fell into the lies and let them carry me. I’ve been sulking in self-pity and self-hate (they are twin sisters you know, they seem to go hand in hand) and have been so busy wallowing that I had no time or desire to remember what God says about me, beauty, or anything for that matter. But here I am again, back in the saddle, and back to asking the very important question of:

“What is beauty?”

The world this day tells you and me its in appearance. A perfect curve, a skinny figure, a pretty smile. But if we believe that, then we will become completely preoccupied with our physical appearance. But... wait. Is that what beauty is? Should we take on the goal of perfection that it seems so many others have achieved? How about looking at it another way. Does the world’s standard of beauty matter? Should we try and follow the values of the world? Here’s a prayer that Jesus prayed on behalf of us-check it out:

“I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.” (John 17:15-16)

But what in the world does He mean by the “world”? Not to be preachy but here’s another scripture that answers that question:

“For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father but is of the world” (1 John 2:16)

So then… what about focusing on Gods standard? Well, that's what I’m attempting to do again. But enough preaching and explaining. Back to the story of my life.

By the time I turned nine, shame was a constant overcast in my life and I was miserable. I had been living the double life that I felt was necessary to keep the ones I loved happy and myself safe. As a kid I grew up "cutting my teeth on the pews." So there was much resting on performance and how things appeared. Over time I had become the complete tomboy and a disappointment to my mother, who’s only girl was refusing to be powdered, primp, and prissy. My perspective of beauty was completely ungodly, I felt dirty and ugly through and through.

My mother, in one last final attempt to save her little girls femininity, bought a book on how to be a lady. It was very legalistic, no makeup, long sleeves kind of book. It’s funny looking back on it. But as silly as the whole thing was in the end (I never made it past chapter two) it was what brought me to the end of myself. There, inside the front cover of the book, was a paragraph explaining that God doesn't look for the beauty on the outside, but in heart. It went on to say that you needed Christ in your heart to give you true internal beauty, and then it outlined a prayer of salvation. I knew as my mother read it that I was going to lose it in front of her. I did. In a sheer moment of desperation and holy conviction I told her that I didn't care if I was ugly on the outside. I wanted Jesus to come in and make me beautiful on the inside. Snot and tears were everywhere! The prayer was prayed and I immediately felt the shame lift and (like everyone first does) started thanking Him and making promises to Him I had every intention of keeping.

Life was good then. When I was ten we moved. I was a new Christian of three months, and though I was struggling to stay pure, keep my newfound concept of beauty in front of me, and be more feminine- the promises still held true. I think those three months hold the best days of my life. But that will have to wait until the next post.

Man,
You know what I think is a shame? That a nine year old girl would be made to feel such shame. I can relate in a way (not the being a girl part ) with the guilt. I was raised in a Baptist church. Guilt was an ever present fixture in my life. I think it's such a shame that we do this to our kids.
My wife has a similar experience with the level of guilt placed on her. When we talk about God she can no longer accept that God is loving, Because she feels that the standard and the things that have been required aren't very loving (in fact just the opposite).
I think my point is, we can't qualify for His love or grace. When we are at our worst He loves us and it doesn't change, He doesn't . I think Jesus made it pretty clear to us what Father is really like and when we heap our conditions on or add burdens to people we miss it.
At least that's what I think.
Thanks for sharing more of your story.
Peace

Thank you for sharing this, Grim. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Hang in there, Tiger!

i understand, we get so caught up on what others think, and we forget about what God thinks

love you much