Well, I'm not actually very good at this. I, at the very least, must start somewhere. So, I will start from the beginning. Well, not THE beginning but, rather my own.
I was born, Marius Douglas Almond. My birth mother is a Schizophrenic and my birth father an Alcoholic. Before the ripe age of 3 months, if not for the sure hands of a firefighter, I would have been a splatter on the pavement. So into the care of the people I call my Mom and Dad, I went. They Adopted me and changed my name and raised me no differently than they would have, had I been their own.
I was always told I was adopted. I was very conscience of the differences between myself and the family that I grew up with. Though Related, the woman I call my mother is actually my Aunt but, not fully. I know the people who brought me into this world and I know the parents that raised me.
I have a brother who is my only biological sibling. He is 5 years younger than I am. His name is Gabriel and he is (as the DSM now puts it) Intellectually Disabled, Retarded as most of you know it. My adoptive parents already had 2 children from my Father's previous marriage and they too are my brothers.
So... lets fast forward a bit. I grew up going to a small Christian Private School I entered the 5th grade and my grades began to slip off the face of the earth. My mother being the very protective woman that she was took me in to see a Psychologist, who told her that I was gifted and irresponsible. Not satisfied with that response she found another one who said that I probably had some form of ADHD and thought it was best to put me on some crazy medication. After having taken some derivative of speed for the next couple of years, I stopped. Enter 7th grade, the first year of going to a public school. When I arrived they wanted to place me into a talented and gifted program based on the way I tested but after a few weeks my resolve to do homework, or rather not to do homework, had changed their minds. Being bored with School, I spend one summer in a Military Prep School and Graduated early from high School at 17 halfway through my Junior year.
From a very young age, I questioned why I existed. I had always believed there was a God, I think but, more fundamentally, I wanted to know if He could possibly love me. So I failed in the hopes that he would catch me. I would deliberately not succeed in hopes that by some miracle I would, if only for a second, see God. I had faith that He was and from such faith, did incredibly dumb things. I would push myself, whether in Skiing or Boxing or blowing things up, it was somewhere out there, that I believed I would find God.
Before I had even graduated I had enlisted, with my parents permission, into the US Navy. I had believed that such a thing was the responsible thing to do and inherently dangerous and adventurous. Little did I know how boring it was actually going to be. I was about 18 when I really began to question God, the dumb things I did got even dumber and more dangerous. I bought a car and proceeded to be invincible. I collected Speeding tickets, racing from point to point, all over the Country on my free time in the Military. I blasted Christians for their Pastel living and slow music. I was an angry little Atheist who was desperately seeking to prove to Himself that God wasn't imaginary. My friends were all Atheists but, strangely enough all we did was talk about God and Christianity.
Everything in my life was particularly good until, Christmas in 2004 a girl I grew up with, who's wisdom I had always admired, came to visit me in Florida with her family. She is a Medical Missionary and at that time was merely going to school and on her summers and off years spending them overseas as a missionary. It was through her that I realized how wrong I was, about everything. I began to seek God again and really try and find what it was that I saw she had.
But shortly after she left I began to despair about not finding God. I would spend all night out under the stars praying, not asking for a sign but, to be free, free to be the person that He wanted me to be. This seeking and not finding had left me an even angrier Atheist. I went out to sea for three months and God broke me. I suddenly didn't have any answers and I didn't have any peace but, still God was there. I finally took comfort in knowing that God was in Control.
But I wasn't done being a rebellious little terd. No sooner had I found God in the Depths of my need for Him, than I found Satan the second I looked away. I started living a dualistic life. A life that I spent half my time with Christians and the other half with Atheists, both groups accepted me and didn't ask too many questions, yet did not acknowledge that the other existed. I called myself a Christian but was very lost.
It wasn't until I had to move to San Diego that I realized just how empty my existence had become. I was suddenly forced to be responsible for people other than myself. People worked for me and looked up to me for advice about everything. I had neither Christians nor Atheists to deal with, rather Sailors. I began to forget that original thread of Regret and the seed to have the wisdom of a missionary. I began living like my fellow Sailor.
I wanted to be a Christian but, I hadn't counted the cost. I had a girlfriend that was very anti-Christianity and I was working in the homeless ministry at my Church. I never wanted the two worlds I lived in to meet. But it was very familiar to me to have Good and Evil in my life so Clearly defined. She had her gay friends and her Burning-man regional events to attend to and I had my homeless friends and my Church activities to attend to. I was just as much a part of her world as I was my own.
I had always defended God but never offended anyone by my faith. Some pictures Surfaced of myself and Miss California together and my Girlfriend and the world of my Faith were suddenly on a collision course and I would have to draw my line in the Sand and Choose. I Chose my God and lost half my friends in one fell swoop. I have never looked back.
I have since left the Navy and am in the pursuit to further my education and become a productive and wise missionary, like the one who not so long ago, convicted me of my sins and gave me the knowledge of what being a true Christian really is.
Jesus said, ''For whatever you've done to the least of these you have done it unto me.''
I was born, Marius Douglas Almond. My birth mother is a Schizophrenic and my birth father an Alcoholic. Before the ripe age of 3 months, if not for the sure hands of a firefighter, I would have been a splatter on the pavement. So into the care of the people I call my Mom and Dad, I went. They Adopted me and changed my name and raised me no differently than they would have, had I been their own.
I was always told I was adopted. I was very conscience of the differences between myself and the family that I grew up with. Though Related, the woman I call my mother is actually my Aunt but, not fully. I know the people who brought me into this world and I know the parents that raised me.
I have a brother who is my only biological sibling. He is 5 years younger than I am. His name is Gabriel and he is (as the DSM now puts it) Intellectually Disabled, Retarded as most of you know it. My adoptive parents already had 2 children from my Father's previous marriage and they too are my brothers.
So... lets fast forward a bit. I grew up going to a small Christian Private School I entered the 5th grade and my grades began to slip off the face of the earth. My mother being the very protective woman that she was took me in to see a Psychologist, who told her that I was gifted and irresponsible. Not satisfied with that response she found another one who said that I probably had some form of ADHD and thought it was best to put me on some crazy medication. After having taken some derivative of speed for the next couple of years, I stopped. Enter 7th grade, the first year of going to a public school. When I arrived they wanted to place me into a talented and gifted program based on the way I tested but after a few weeks my resolve to do homework, or rather not to do homework, had changed their minds. Being bored with School, I spend one summer in a Military Prep School and Graduated early from high School at 17 halfway through my Junior year.
From a very young age, I questioned why I existed. I had always believed there was a God, I think but, more fundamentally, I wanted to know if He could possibly love me. So I failed in the hopes that he would catch me. I would deliberately not succeed in hopes that by some miracle I would, if only for a second, see God. I had faith that He was and from such faith, did incredibly dumb things. I would push myself, whether in Skiing or Boxing or blowing things up, it was somewhere out there, that I believed I would find God.
Before I had even graduated I had enlisted, with my parents permission, into the US Navy. I had believed that such a thing was the responsible thing to do and inherently dangerous and adventurous. Little did I know how boring it was actually going to be. I was about 18 when I really began to question God, the dumb things I did got even dumber and more dangerous. I bought a car and proceeded to be invincible. I collected Speeding tickets, racing from point to point, all over the Country on my free time in the Military. I blasted Christians for their Pastel living and slow music. I was an angry little Atheist who was desperately seeking to prove to Himself that God wasn't imaginary. My friends were all Atheists but, strangely enough all we did was talk about God and Christianity.
Everything in my life was particularly good until, Christmas in 2004 a girl I grew up with, who's wisdom I had always admired, came to visit me in Florida with her family. She is a Medical Missionary and at that time was merely going to school and on her summers and off years spending them overseas as a missionary. It was through her that I realized how wrong I was, about everything. I began to seek God again and really try and find what it was that I saw she had.
But shortly after she left I began to despair about not finding God. I would spend all night out under the stars praying, not asking for a sign but, to be free, free to be the person that He wanted me to be. This seeking and not finding had left me an even angrier Atheist. I went out to sea for three months and God broke me. I suddenly didn't have any answers and I didn't have any peace but, still God was there. I finally took comfort in knowing that God was in Control.
But I wasn't done being a rebellious little terd. No sooner had I found God in the Depths of my need for Him, than I found Satan the second I looked away. I started living a dualistic life. A life that I spent half my time with Christians and the other half with Atheists, both groups accepted me and didn't ask too many questions, yet did not acknowledge that the other existed. I called myself a Christian but was very lost.
It wasn't until I had to move to San Diego that I realized just how empty my existence had become. I was suddenly forced to be responsible for people other than myself. People worked for me and looked up to me for advice about everything. I had neither Christians nor Atheists to deal with, rather Sailors. I began to forget that original thread of Regret and the seed to have the wisdom of a missionary. I began living like my fellow Sailor.
I wanted to be a Christian but, I hadn't counted the cost. I had a girlfriend that was very anti-Christianity and I was working in the homeless ministry at my Church. I never wanted the two worlds I lived in to meet. But it was very familiar to me to have Good and Evil in my life so Clearly defined. She had her gay friends and her Burning-man regional events to attend to and I had my homeless friends and my Church activities to attend to. I was just as much a part of her world as I was my own.
I had always defended God but never offended anyone by my faith. Some pictures Surfaced of myself and Miss California together and my Girlfriend and the world of my Faith were suddenly on a collision course and I would have to draw my line in the Sand and Choose. I Chose my God and lost half my friends in one fell swoop. I have never looked back.
I have since left the Navy and am in the pursuit to further my education and become a productive and wise missionary, like the one who not so long ago, convicted me of my sins and gave me the knowledge of what being a true Christian really is.
Jesus said, ''For whatever you've done to the least of these you have done it unto me.''