M
Ever since the begging of my childhood, I was raised to eat, think, sleep, and adore Catholicism. I was baptized as a baby in a catholic church and grew up in the catholic church. My whole family is catholic and takes it very seriously but, that would all change back in the year 2012. My parents divorced when I was a baby and ever since then my mom has held this grudge towards my father. My father will not even look at my mom or talk to her. When my stepfather was living with us he brought with him an evil presence into my home and he claimed to be a baptist and a Christian but, his fruit did not show but his true colors did. He once beat me with a branch from my tree in the backyard in front of my friend once, to prove a point and threatened that if I ever stuck up the middle finger ever in my life that he'd cut it off. He hurt me, my sister, and my mom especially my mom, because ever since that divorce she hasn't been the same to this very day. Middle school was horrible for me especially my 7th grade year I was bullied and to top things off I had no friends and the only best friend I had was my dog who died that same year. My mom and step dad also divorced that same year and not to mention I was having problems in school. I'm glad that my stepfather no longer lives here but, i'm not sad because hes gone i'm sad because of the damage he did and scars he left behind and it specifically hurt my sister and mom the most. With no father figure to guide me I felt hopeless. I went to church every Saturday and drank the wine and ate the bread and I remember them saying that if I didn't, then I would go to hell. I would always fall asleep during the mass on Saturdays and made me want to despise church in general. In high school things settled down a bit and i was bullied less and made some friends but I was still missing the key piece to my heart, that piece was Jesus Christ. I went on ACTS retreats for the church which I thought helped me but, only made things worse in the end and they also gave me a false sense of thinking that I was doing what God wanted. Then the strangest thing happened to me. As I got more tired of attending church and always saying the same prayer over and over again something in my heart just woke me up. About the last years of high school I started to feel an enormous pull toward wanting to know God. As this fire grew inside of my chest like a forest fire I began to question my faith. It got to the point where I started getting brave enough to confront my mom about it including my grandparents. They got furious at the thought that I would even question our faith. It was coming to the begging of 2012 when I was about to get confirmed as a catholic and in order to do so you must take an oath and go on at least one ACTS retreat and you had to pay. Then I felt that fire inside of me again and I felt as if though something inside told me not to do it. I didn't end up following through with the confirmation because I asked my mom, "does this mean I'm not allowed to attend another church"? she then replied "no" only a catholic church. Then it hit me, why would they restrain me from so much as walking into another Christian church. At that point I told myself I couldn't do it because then by taking the oath I felt like I was betraying God. So I confronted my mother and told her that I didn't want to be catholic anymore. She was angry as a rhino with me and she then began to say how she would never let me leave the religion. She then went on to say I would be the first in the family to break of from the tradition. Then she asked me a question, "If it were my dying wish for you to stay catholic would you do it"? My heart turned violently inside of my chest and I began to panic at what would happen if I chose to say what was on my heart. My mom or sister neither attend church ever only on holidays or special events so even they weren't committed as they said they were. So I answered her which I know something was with me because I could feel a great force inside me that helped me say no. When I said this it broke her heart and from that point on didn't want to talk to me. At that point I knew it would be difficult for I was going against my own family just to find some answers. If you were to have gone into my old church you would not see a single person with a bible which is very dangerous because it allowed the priest to twist scripture into how he wanted it presented and the worst part is no one would have ever known. So 2012 finally came and my family was still angry at the fact that I chose to leave the catholic faith. So I did some searching and I was led to several different churches until finally,I was led to a baptist church and I joined there youth group. From there on out, I continued going to that church and then I was saved in a church van with my youth pastor and best friend who prayed over me. After that I took it a step further and decided to get baptized. My mother refused to go to my baptism and even though she didn't I'm glad I made the choice to do so. On April 29, 2012 I was baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and is a day I will never forget. Later on in my walk with God, the lord revealed to me the purpose of all this. Now I know to this day with out a doubt that that fire inside of my chest was the Holy Spirit leading me out of the catholic church not because the baptist religion is the way but because, so that I could have a relationship with God and learn. I do not think the baptist religion is the best faith nor do I think that any religion is the best but I am a Christian first and put God as number 1 in my life even above family and friends. I hope the Holy Spirit leads others like it did me in order to have a True relationship with God. I thank God for leading me into a life of joy and love rather than a life of tradition. Glory to God forever and ever Amen.
