My Conversion over a 15 month period in rough form

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crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
1,953
113
#1
I've been on CC long enough that people know I'm not given over to daily 'spiritual experiences' or "God told me" statements.
So I hope what is written would be received with that in mind. I have mainly concentrated on the 'conversion' period and not all the sordid details of my BC life. If anything it shows that conversions are not always as simple as a 'sinners prayer' but sometimes involve a long drawn out battle in the soul. I wrote this up in etchy form in 2006 and it has only improved a little in it's tidiness.
One last thing...it's long, but...that's the way it came down. We'll start in Dec. 1972..
Oh, it is too long for CC standards, so it will be in two parts..

******************************************************************************


Oroville, Ca.


Dec 2nd 1972. Up to this point (for the last 6 mos. or so) I had been checking out stacks of books weekly searching , searching, searching, reading, reading, reading,.This day at the library it dawned on me that the answer to ‘existence’ would not come from the accumulation of knowledge through, books since the variables in life were astronomical and daily increasing. There would be no way one could read all the info needed to absorb all the variables needed to draw a final conclusion. Nearly at the same hour some friends (Dick Bjork and Laura, Steve and Cathy ) had come into the library and had invited me to their house that night.


Up to now I had had about 4 ‘trips’ on acid but all I ever experienced was vividness of colors or a little spookiness in having someone drive me down a mountain road at night. (That sensation was that I was in a ‘time warp’ and would never break from it…going down the same mountain curve over and over.)


Tonight would be different and would mark a life shaking change never to be forgotten followed later by some equally moving encounters. The evening went on in normal fashion music, weed, drinking , and then the acid. It was around 11pm when I had taken two hits of blue dot acid. At first, things started going south, their kids were starting to act crazy (knowing we were getting zoned); my teeth felt like they were cracking and falling out (strychnine); then after a short period of time I found myself looking at a picture of Jesus hanging on a cross (this picture actually existed in their house on a dresser). But when I had glanced at it and then away I felt like my brain was being shocked with a large amount of electric voltage. The pain was excruciating. This happened about three times. When I was noticing that I could not face the person hanging on the cross. I asked myself why not’? I kept glancing, yet avoiding, (like Dracula avoiding the cross) and the ‘electric’ pain would continue to shoot through my head. Finally, I determined to take a good long look at Jesus hanging on the cross. As I did, I noticed as if there were waves of life flowing from his chest towards me. I looked in half amazement at the site. The shooting pain had stopped. I turned to ponder. Next thing I knew I had seen in vision like fashion the two dogs (Brother and Sister) which were at my house looking up at me as if saying, ‘you have left us out in this cold weather’. That passed quickly and then I saw my self (looking up at myself) at about the age of 10 in a white shirt standing in a walkway (which began at my back porch and ran between the two garages back in Wyvernwood (where I had grown up).. Then I started feeling in my stomach a pushing sensation and the the whole room around me turned hospital white, The pushing continued a bit and then stopped and I started hearing a baby crying and then saw the baby lying in a basin-like container …I had a gut feeling what I was looking at …me…being born. The electric shocking sensation was long past and all seemed much more peaceful for the remainder of that evening/morning. (End of trip).


Since that night without realizing it my outlook and perception of life changed slowly from political activist to being more sensitive with spiritual matters. One big difference readily noticeable was my sensitivity to the written word and people’s speech. I was for the first time experiencing(i.e. not just head knowledge) the difference between a persons words and his body. I was to become much more sensitive to words in lyrics, speech, poetry etc. than I had heretofore been. (Much later I could look back as a Christian and say this was when I was born again. That is, a spiritual birth which marked the beginning of much work the Lord still had to accomplish from that point on.). Born from above without the Word of the Gospel? No! Rather with the Word of the Gospel! Remember the picture of Christ crucified I saw on the dresser?!


Wenatchee, Wa.


Keystone Orchards Spring to Summer 1973.Here my eyes were further being opened. I sensed upon looking at nature that there was an Artist whose art differed from man’s art, not only in beauty and design but in life itself (a sort of non stop kinetic art). The creation contained an art which lived breathed, moved. Even in it’s seeming randomness it contained a beauty which man’s artistic palette could not even come close to it in immeasurable ways.


“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.”


This Scripture was beginning to dig deep in my soul. Although I had not yet attached it’s meaning to the Incarnation v.14 (and the Word became flesh..) it confirmed my hunches at the time of the importance of our words and how it appeared that the words we speak were not a separate entity which we would spit out from our mouths but were intricately tied with the soul of our being.


Took off to Wyoming Rainbow Festival. (Summer 73) On the way stayed at a motel in MT. for one night. In it was a Gideon bible. Had a little exposure once again to some Scripture. (This time dealing with Jesus story on the vine and the branches.) At the Festival, hooked up with a group who had a ‘Jesus personality amongst them. This individual would set an example pray over everything (even the water we drank) lot’s of blessings, lot’s of hugging, lots of scripture (but mainly out of context) Our group got busted by a game warden for fishing without a license. On the long walk thru the Festival on the way to the jail this individual was able to panhandle enough money to pay the fine (otherwise we would be sitting in jail as a flight risk).


[Returned to Oroville for a short while Aug-Sept 73.. (One humorous happening sometime after in Grass Valley or Nevada City). I had been in town a short while and was espousing the Master Game by DeRopp, teaching with some friends I had met. We took acid that night and one of the places I found myself was by myself in a completely strange neighborhood . I started to ‘meditate’ in the street and as I did a large dog came walking towards me, barking. I somehow felt that man was to be in control of the animals and if I would just set my mind aright through meditation the dog would settle down. He did have somewhat of a confused look on his face when he saw I did not run or back away. He seemed to be calling his pals but to no avail. Moments later the Grass Valley police pulled up. I was kinda scared now because I was afraid they would discern my mental state on acid and would take me in for shock treatment. They asked me where was I from. The question seemed awfully strange. To answer ‘Detroit’ would seem to be only a name and would be no answer. After all who is from a name? Deeper down I knew we were from God so I answered“ I am from where we all are from…God." They asked where did I live. I gave them the name of the friends I was staying with. They asked for some I.D. All I had was the Universal Life Minister card. They looked at it and got kind of nervous and apologetic and immediately drove me to my friend's house. I was still rather scared zoning in a police car on acid in a small town thinking at any moment they would detect my state. They returned me to my friends…whew, one relieved puppy.)]


Oct of 1973 went up to Wenatchee after working in the pumpkin fields outside Oroville. I came back to see Kim (a girlfriend). But first day back I went to stay with old friends (into White witchcraft, esoteric astrology etc., Alice Bailey, Ouspensky, Gurdjieff etc).


The next day (about third Fri.. of Oct) I went to see Kim but this time she was turned off to me in more ways than one. I could hardly hold a conversation for 10 seconds without my mind floating into la-la land. The next day I had taken some window pane acid which I had brought up from Oroville. I had gone out to a small park on the way to East Wenatchee (to see Kim) when the acid began coming on. At first I noticed such things as grass and trees were no more natural than the cars which drove by (there was no comfort or sanctuary in poking green grass blades etc.)... Next thing I knew I was pressed to the ground in a fetal position. I could not move…not even a finger. I had the sensation of being completely isolated from life, stiff I could not even cry out. Was I to remain in this state for eternity? Was this the beginning of hell or judgment? I remember saying something like ‘God, please help me’. This phenomena happened twice in succession and then abated. By this time my mind was reeling and I felt panic setting in. Next thing I was hearing Dylan's song ‘A Hard Rain is a Gonna Fall’ in my head and at same time I was ‘seeing’ hail and fire landing close by, and tied it in with the then current 1973 Israeli-Arab conflict.. All this got me to think of heading off to see Kim as she had mentioned Christ and the bible the day before. As I headed in that direction (East Wenatchee) it seemed as if the weather got colder and darker and my mind was getting more and more confused and panicky. I had looked across at the bridge crossing the Columbia River and felt if I had continued approaching to cross it I would end up jumping off . I was walking in terror and confusion of mind.I stopped an elderly man with a cane seeking wisdom from him (maybe he could give me answers), he only shook his head and kept walking.


At this time, at the peak of torment of thought I had seen a billboard through all the clouds and confusion actually glowing (everything else around was cold and gray) and it simply read “If you are human, You need JESUS”.Well, this was too much. I tried to collect my thoughts and composure. I reasoned, “Kim is a Christian, she knows Jesus, so what is wrong going that way? (Towards East Wenatchee). Sooo, I started off in that direction, but the coldness and confusion was gripping and intensified. I had to stop and rethink. I thought to myself, ‘perhaps this is not the right way, things are getting only worse…so I turned around and started walking. At that moment, simultaneously, I felt a ton of weight/tension drain from my body, tears began flowing a deep joy came over me the sun began to shine and the air became warm,. I have never in my life felt this before. I was literally in ecstasy and I knew it had to do with that billboard…it had something to do with Jesus. I walked back to the house (communal house run by a ‘white witch’- Rosetta who just happened to be gone that weekend) where I was staying still full of this joy. I went around telling those that lived there that I believed that there was something to this 'Jesus' thing. Many in the house listened and wondered but later that evening one who was older explained to me that I had a ‘top of the world experience’ common to many seeking. “After all there are many roads to god”, so he said. Not being grounded in God’s Word I was soon back in my old ways.


Chelan, WA.




A week later it was set up by Rosetta for me to go to Chelan and watch over a house for the winter owned by a Kennedy family. This house had a bible in the kitchen so I opened it up and soon came across the Lord’s prayer. It was Halloween morning(1973) when I prayed the Lord’s Prayer for the first time …(or any prayer longer than ‘help me God’). To my amazement that day went smoother and more peaceful than any day I had in years. In the days surrounding I read a little and prayed a few times. I was beginning to suspect that there was something more to this Jesus ‘thing’ and prayer. I remember for example, I was trying to light the wood heater and was struggling with the flame not ‘taking’ to the firewood. I took a deep breath and spoke the name ‘Jesus’ repeating slowly. The fire ‘took’ readily and I had more to ponder.


It wasn’t but a few days that I discovered some books up in the attic. These were old theology books more along the line of theosophy, Christian Science, and some aberrant forms of Christian thought. But it was enough to steer me away from the Scriptures. Soon after Rosetta changed her mind and had her daughter and son in law move me out and have them move in.


Back in Wenatchee I arranged to go with Rosetta’s son Merrick to a commune in Eastern Washington outside Davenport called Tolstoy Farms.


Tolstoy Farms


The first day at Tolstoy we were introduced to some of the ‘family’. Two of whom I had recognized earlier at Rosetta’s house in Wenatchee. That evening I stayed with a friend in a treehouse (made to live in). A number of people came over and as usual we got stoned. It had snowed that night (early Nov ’73) and at one point I had to go to the bathroom. Sooo, I stepped outside in the dark to find a place, I took a step that kept going down and down, down, down ‘til I was on my back in the snow about 15 ft below the door. I had re-injured an old knee injury and so it looked like I was stuck a while as well as being snowed in. I ended up staying there until early January. It was probably a new low in my life. Although the chopping wood, carrying water, stoking the fire, were helpful in keeping me half in touch with reality whereas on the other hand I was getting deeper into meditating with a blank mind, readingTarot, and drugs, drinking, etc.


At the same time some of the earlier ‘Jesus’ experiences would come briefly to mind causing me to ponder about Jesus. One of them taking place on the night of Dec 25th.(The following is erroneous Christian teaching but when you come from extreme left field you must pass through the field to get to home plate,) It struck me that there was a similarity between Jesus dying and rising three days later and the winter sun finding it’s lowest point around the 22nd and ‘resurrecting’ on the 25th.. Once we traveled near Spokane in the snow to a friends house. The couple was a Christian and would attempt to answer questions and objections. I seen myself as somewhat listening but all the while mainly objecting.


In any case back at Tolstoy, I felt like the prodigal feeding the pigs (even though I had not as yet known the story) insofar as I seemed to be at the bottom of my existence. Came down with an ear infection and a sickness from bad water (can’t recall name yet). So in around the end of the first week of January I left Tolstoy and went back to the white witch’s house (Rosetta’s) in Wenatchee. (Not exactly the prodigal fathers home).


Continued on next post...
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
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#2
(Part 2)

Back in Wenatchee, Jan, '74


Busted with weed and contributing to a minor.Feb 17
I was told by one of Rosetta's ‘prophets’ he saw tombstones in my eyes.

For about 3 weeks I struggled with torment of mind between Christianity and Judaism. Between crosses and circles, between God and Him having a Son.

Some friends and I got drunk and went to a theatre to jeer the Christians who responded in the movie to an altar call.. When we got there the movie was sold out and my friend went home.I was approached by one offering me a ticket (His girlfriend couldn’t make it).. I reluctantly accepted but went the long way around the block to the theatre because I did not want to sit next to him. Who showed up in line next to me? The movie was called Time to Run, put out by Billy Graham. I was able to identify somewhat. It proved to be another small step in the right direction. The person who gave me the ticket told me of a Christian coffee house I would be welcomed to drop in.


That was a Christian coffee house I would start to venture into which told me about a center that counseled Christians. There a couple prayed for the disease/sickness (scabies?) on my legs from Tolstoy and within a week it cleared. I went to an ear/eye doctor to have my eardrum lanced for the infection which had set in. (free of charge for migrant workers which I was).


I started to go to the library now for a little different reason. Each day I would start taking a look at the bible and a concordance shelved alongside the bible and begin looking up topics such as witch craft, astrology, divination etc. and found some verses in the old testament.On one later occasion I confronted Rosetta during one of her esoteric astrology/witchcraft classes. I asked , “I don’t understand how these books on astrology, witchcraft, and the ‘ascended Masters’ use all kinds of Scriptures from the bible but the Scriptures themselves strictly forbid such practices”. She blustered, “Well, that was back then but truth is always changing.” That answer did not sit well with me and needless to say we ceased to be on friendly talking terms.


At the same time there was pressure and battles going on within me. Each time I would get high now especially on weed I would start having strong anti-christian / anti-God thoughts (along with the paranoia) yet I would notice my thoughts would turn more sympathetic towards the bible and it’s claims when I was not high. Around this time (Feb 17th or so) I was walking home with Merrick, we were buzzed and a patrol car stopped us in a residential neighborhood of Wenatchee. The officer asked us some questions and left. I started feeling my oats and started deliberately walking zig zag -edly after the name of the rolling papers. The officer must have circled the block and returned, stopped, and this time checked our pupils and our pockets.. Busted. Miranda rights etc. Spent the night in the city jail. By this time I was carrying a small new testament in my pocket and when they had me empty my belongings they seen it. One of the police who I suspected was a Christian couldn’t understand the mixture of the two … weed and a bible? The next day I was bailed by Rosetta but I had a trial date for Mon. Mar 18th 1974.


During the interim I continued looking into Scripture and could not figure this tension between the OT/ Jewish-ness /circles/curves/natural on the one hand and the Christian teaching which seemed to come with crosses/hard edges/ and technology. There were also internal battles of mind which raged for about three weeks groping as to who or what all this was about. The thoughts got so intense I literally would have to hold my head till they passed. On a better day, I had passed by a church (Maybe Methodist) which had a stone statue ofJesus saying “I am the Way the Truth and the Life, No Man Come unto the Father but by Me.’ This was very perplexing. How can God have a son? Yet His Spirit kept working in me, convicting, enlightening, and sometimes comforting me.. As an example about this time when Randy (stoner friend) would come over to offer me pot I finally came under conviction that it was not needed and that life itself offered a ‘high’ or was a trip in itself and one didn’t need weed.


Around this time (bet Feb. and Mar) I had a Christian come over to the house and in the midst of the false teaching he would counsel me in the bible. I hardly understood a thing except that he kept saying salvation is by faith. One of those Sundays I went to a Catholic Church with a girl (Nedra) and her parents. The sermon I do not recall but at Communion I had gone up to receive something I had no idea. When the priest gave me the wafer my reaction was in accord with what I thought I was seeing the others do…I stuck it back out as it was still on my tongue to offer it back to the priest. He gave me a strange look and whispered ‘you are supposed to eat it’. I think he knew somehow I needed all the help I could get.


One of the things I kept noticing before this time (see lighting fire at Chelan) and increasingly so after (esp. see Jail) when I would continually be calling on the name of Jesus many events would take an immediate positive turn -around. As an example, when I would hear a car in the distance having a hard time starting and the engine would keep turning without starting, I would pray repeating the name of Jesus and within seconds the car would start. This happened continually to begin convincing me that it was no coincidence. This I believe was the Lord’s way in showing me that when you call on Him he has the power to answer. He showed me later that even though he has the power he doesn’t always answer according to our whim..


On the Sunday evening of Mar 17th 1974, I went to Bethesda a church in Monitor Wa. (between Cashmere and Wenatchee) in which the Christian center had workers attending it. I had gone to it a time or two before.. That evening I had watched the service from the balcony, sang some songs and listened to the sermon. (This was somewhat a Charaismatic church highly displaying the ‘gift’ of tongues and was also into Don Basham, Derek Prince etc yuk now). After the sermon and near the end of the sermon the pastor asked for a show of hands of any that had something the Lord had done for them that week. I lifted my hand. They sang another song.Then the next thing I knew the pastor said for those who lifted their hands to come on down to the front. UH OH. I had very long hair and very shabby clothing so I knew I stood out like a sore thumb, I knew others had seen me raise my hand. And I knew it was a long walk from the balcony. But I went, and as I was about a quarter of the way a similar sensation came over me similar to when I had seen that sign “If you’re human you need Jesus”. A weight lifted, tears swelled, joy filled my heart. By the time I was up front I was a bawling baby. One of the counselors who had talked with me a time or two led me in the ‘sinner's prayer’ .


JAIL ‘74

Mar. 18th. My court appearance was scheduled. What is funny is that through all so far the Lord had brought me, I was still somewhat stuck on the old Yippie way of thinking. In the court my old friends (Randall and his clique).I had also been ‘hanging’ out with was there. During the proceedings I gave the ol’ infamous V sign behind my back for them to see. How corny it seems to me now. Well the judge gave me 30 days without even hearing my side. I protested. What a ding bat I was. My lawyer said he would work on an appeal and would get back with me…he knew where to find me. It was basically a holding tank where hard cases would go on to a county jail and many soft cases were only there for the weekend. I stayed for 21 days in the same tank…same bed…same oatmeal…same peanut butter sandwiches. During my stay, I had time by myself with a bible and a radio that the other inmates continually had going. I began a more concerted effort with bible reading and calling on Jesus especially in the form of repeating His name. One of the inmates was loud and continuous. He had a bunk next to mine. Complain, complain, complain, curse, curse, curse. I was tempted to join in but by now His Spirit was leading me differently. I kept my tongue and prayed. About two days later he was removed from out of the tank and I was free to read in quiet (with the exception of the radio). About nine days later the lawyer paid a visit and wanted to submit an appeal in my behalf. By this time I had enough reading of Scripture to know that would not be the route I wanted to go. I told him I was guilty and I needed to serve the time I was given.


Continuing to pour over the Scriptures and praying day in and day out… at one point after about ten days in jail, I saw as if the space in front of me ripped open before my eyes and a blue flash/clap (don’t ask me to explain…a flash of blue-flame/light with a clap sound) followed by an sweet aroma I had never smelled before. At that moment I felt a filling in my head (and it has been so ever since) a strong peace came and abode upon me. Up to this point I had for the last three years or so had been biting continually the soft skin of my fingers right down to the knuckles and even the palms, so much so that they would often bleed in different places. This moment all that was gone. I was filled also with much joy which had a much more abiding nature. Smiles could be once again seen on my face, something lacking over the years. This sensation of the space ripping in front of me could also be described as if the air had a membrane that was ripped, opening up into another dimension [and something simultaneously] coming into me. I never correlated this with anything in Scripture except that it was the power of God and maybe had to do with tongues speaking (though I did not speak in tongues). [Later, though when I was camping with some Christian friends we read over Acts chap 2 and the experience to the disciples with cloven tongues of fire and the loudclap etc. sounded so similar that I blurted out that that was like what I experienced in jail. Ironically the teacher was Southern Baptist and it was nonsense to him since supposedly the gifts of the Spirit had ceased. But I knew that what I had experienced as well as the ensuing peace, I could not deny even though it was not exactly like Acts 2.]


It must have been a day or two days later in the holding tank when I experienced the most dramatic of all. I was laying face down on my bunk (upper bunk), praying and reading, when, out of nowhere I saw shining across the ceiling what appeared to be bright pillars about seven of them. I looked up at them and began looking face down at my bunk bed in awe when I heard the voice (which sounded deep-loud-and rolling) speaking, saying, as to another, “he has given me a holy kiss”. Then the scene vanished.I was stunned but by now not totally surprised by the event in light of all else I had seen previously. My best interpretation is that Jesus was speaking to the Father and was referring to the ofttimes I had ardently kissed the little new testament which I had been reading over and over (as well as a full bible) in jail. More importantly, this occurrence had set in me a conviction of the reality of our risen Lord that nothing could ever convince me otherwise.[ I had related this event while alone to my mother when she was in the hospital dying of lung cancer].


After this whole ordeal in jail the change which began in Oroville Dec 72 was at the point of no return. Jesus was truly my Lord and Savior and I was ready (so I thought) to go and tell the whole world. As an example of that change, five days before I was to be released the jailors had me placing blasting caps in their bullets. A few months earlier, I would have growled and cursed at the ‘pigs’ but now deep down I knew it was the right thing to do and it felt good to be helping those who enforced the law.


HOME


When I was released after about three weeks total (released one week early) I was a little hurt that none of the Church group came to visit me so I stayed the night in a motel in Wenatchee not wanting to go back to Rosettas den of witch craft. Next morning I took a Greyhound to my moms. Now the last time I had seen her was when some friends (Steve, Tracy etc.) from Oroville and I were passing through LA on our way to Baja Calif. to get Steve married his 'newlywed' could come up legally as a married to a U.S. citizen and to obtain a large supply of weed (about 20lbs). At my mothers I threw a ‘lid’ (ounce) of grass on her coffee table and asked her if she would like to smoke? She declined. About a year later when I left the jail and came back down to Montebello where she lived, I threw the New Testament down on her coffee table and asked her if she wanted to read? It was quite new to her but she was game for it.


POST THOUGHTS:


Talking this way about the past experiences is an awkward ordeal. Our experiences are never above God’s Word but then who in God’s Word is without experiences with God, except in the book of Esther. Many say we walk by faith not by experiences. That is true but even the Israelites when they left Egypt had seen plenty of miracles and yet God wanted to wean them from the miracles to His Word. I used to tell these experiences to many when I was a babe in Christ only to hear such comments as ‘all heavenly minded but no earthly good’. . I can’t expect others to believe them because I am highly skeptical of the experiences of others. But after 30 years (now 2006) even though my life as a Christian has been far from pristine I think it has been sufficient to prove to others that I am not one “absorbed” in ‘visions’ , ‘dreams’ , ‘prophecies‘ etc. Though my early years as a Christian were charismatic my later years have been anything but…rather doctrinal and word oriented.. Perhaps the pendulum is swinging a little towards the Spirit and the things of the Spirit. We tend to go from one extreme to another as we get burned in one way or another. A middle road is not to outright dismiss experiences of the Spirit but to check them against God’s Word. In any case the experiences have not only been something I have seen and heard but something that has been instrumental in changing me from the inside out. For me to deny them would be like denying Christ.


An objection sometimes raised is that they were drugged induced. I would say two things. There were no drugs involved in the jail experiences and second if drugged induced then it was satanically inspired experiences. This is true in drug use. But God can override satan’s schemes for his own purpose. Think for a moment, why would satan want to introduce me to Jesus Christ as having died for my sins (see Oroville) and confirm it with further experiences e.g. Wenatchee or Jail? That would be defeating his purpose.


I could have gone into a lot more graphic and sordid details of my corrupt life. But what purpose is that? Most sewers smell the same. The main purpose is to bring out God’s power and grace and His sometimes unorthodox dealings with men as well as a little insight into what motivates me now and why.
 

Thomas223

Junior Member
May 19, 2015
9
1
0
#3
Very interesting, thanks for sharing. God works in mysterious way, I wish more people would share stories. Everyone has a unique path in life, but hopefully each path leads to God.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#4
Sometimes God will bring a piece of our past back to help a specific person in a specific place and time in their life but, that aside, it's just not necessary or desirable to share everything.

Someone like me would understand but then I don't need to hear it anyways. It's all forgiven so best to just run down that positive track and promote what God's done, doing, and will do :). Keep your head up and know that we LOVE your presence here at CC. Peace.


I could have gone into a lot more graphic and sordid details of my corrupt life. But what purpose is that?
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
1,953
113
#5
Very interesting, thanks for sharing. God works in mysterious way, I wish more people would share stories. Everyone has a unique path in life, but hopefully each path leads to God.
Thanks for reading. I would only add "each path leads to God thru His Son Jesus crucified and risen for our sins"

John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

There's a lot of false spirituality out there that says 'all paths lead to God'.
 
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M

Miri

Guest
#6
Hi crossnote great story - maybe you should consider writing a book.
I'm sure God can use this to help others :)

The bit about the sign was interesting. I know a person (now a pastor) who
was in his car one day and he passed a statue with its arms held out. In that
split second he remembered the verse in the bible about the sheep and the
goats being divided. He spent some time on his journey trying to work
out whether he had passed the statue on the sheep or goat side!

Later that week he was convicted and gave his life to christ.

God bless
x
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
10,757
1,825
113
#7
I got shivers when I read about Ouspensky and Gurdjieff and Bailey and the Ascended masters. I was caught in the same trap as you! Reading the bible and not understanding it. Being led astray by the New Age Movement.

The only difference is, I never got caught for my sins/crimes and it took me a few more years and a real Christian revival to get saved. Although I did spend time in the charismatic movement, before God pulled me back into the Word and sound doctrine.

Thanks for sharing your testimony of God's saving power. It is the most I have ever seen you write, and it was well worth the read.
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
1,953
113
#8
Hi crossnote great story - maybe you should consider writing a book.
I'm sure God can use this to help others :)

The bit about the sign was interesting. I know a person (now a pastor) who
was in his car one day and he passed a statue with its arms held out. In that
split second he remembered the verse in the bible about the sheep and the
goats being divided. He spent some time on his journey trying to work
out whether he had passed the statue on the sheep or goat side!

Later that week he was convicted and gave his life to christ.

God bless
x
Miri,
LOL about the sheep and goats story.

A book? $$$$? No, God freely gave that whole experience to me, the least I can do is freely share it.
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
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#9
Thanks for sharing your testimony of God's saving power. It is the most I have ever seen you write, and it was well worth the read.
Yes and that covered a year and a half. I know of some girls who can write way more covering just an hour and a half of their life LOL.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
10,757
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#10
Miri,
LOL about the sheep and goats story.

A book? $$$$? No, God freely gave that whole experience to me, the least I can do is freely share it.

I've always considered writing a book about my testimony, self publishing and giving it out to people so they could read about my testimony, spiced with lots and lots of Bible verses. You might think about doing the same.
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
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#11
I've always considered writing a book about my testimony, self publishing and giving it out to people so they could read about my testimony, spiced with lots and lots of Bible verses. You might think about doing the same.
Well, coming from you I'll (caution: Christianeese ahead) keep it in prayer.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
27,930
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#12
CN... thank you so much for directing me to read your testimony. I found it incredibly moving, very well told, humorous in many parts, nuanced, detailed, eloquent, engaging, and full of the love of God and Jesus Christ. Amazing! Praise God and again thank you so much for sharing your story, and thank you also for the kindness you have always shown me. Much love to you!
 

TANIQUE

Junior Member
Nov 7, 2015
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#13
YOU KNOW......I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY.......THANKS FOR SHARING......IT REALLY HELPS AND GIVES HOPE TO THE FACT THAT GOD IS PURSUING US AND WANTS TO HELP US NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP WE GET AT TIMES.
 

oldthennew

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
2,633
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#14
Cross,

thanks for sharing your amazing story....
we really identified with some of your experiences and time settings...

one time years ago when hubby was at a Rock Concert of a band called Pacific Gas and Electric,
he was on LSD and had a clear vision that wouldn't go away, of Christ suffering on the Cross -
even though 'drug-induced', it was put-in-there along with many others.
conversion came about 12 or so yrs. later, and there definitely were no drugs involved
at that time for many years....

the irony is that our 'past sins followed us' for a while, and when we bore witness of our 'conversion' in
the beginning, we were constantly asked, 'what were you all on'?

it's been 34yrs., and of course that perception of ourselves by others has long been faded
but even so,
to this day we have to be careful with our words and to minister to those according to what
they are able to receive...

we have learned that you can't witness of a meat and potatoes Spiritual experience to those
who are not even ready for a milk-Spiritual-experience...no matter how much we
long to relate and minister...this is where our Best Friend comes in and gives us the
right words to speak at the right time, right place...it all gets down to our getting close, clinging,
to our Lord and Master....

thanks again for sharing such a personal witness, it was greatly appreciated...
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
27,695
1,953
113
#15
YOU KNOW......I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY.......THANKS FOR SHARING......IT REALLY HELPS AND GIVES HOPE TO THE FACT THAT GOD IS PURSUING US AND WANTS TO HELP US NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP WE GET AT TIMES.
Yes, that reminds me of Moses 40 years on the back side of the desert after leaving Egypt, being prepared as a vessel for the Lord. Patience, sigh :p

...and thanks Magenta & OldtheNew for the overly kind comments.
 
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CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#16
Wow, what a beautiful story rooted in transparency and resulting in repentance. Your experience in the holding seal had to be so surreal, sp powerful. Praise His Holy Name. Thank You Lord. I pray you keep shining His light. I can imagine how He is using you, all for His Glory.

God Bless you and yours. BTW, Your story of sharing Him with your dying Mama was beautifully touching.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,787
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#17
Holding cell, but maybe the seal was more accurate...
 

theanointedwinner

Well-known member
Nov 6, 2018
2,058
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#18
From your testimony, even with stuff like acid, Christ can lead people toward Christ

With a lot of patience
 

HeraldtheNews

Well-known member
Apr 26, 2012
1,281
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#19
You have a way of writing that keeps us hanging on waiting for a rational flicker of sanity. It took an act of God just to keep me reading. The part about "truth is always changing," is a good way to describe the world.

I'm not sure, but I could have sworn I saw a server put something in my beer once. Whatever the source, I kept having sort of mild hallucinations of moving that later became like moving through water. I felt like I was swimming near a shark and moving towards it as if it was trying to make me become a shark. I resisted and moved away from it. It freaked me out and caused me to think about being sure not to do anything that would be acting like a shark, and so not be in danger of being drawn involuntarily towards a "shark.".

Whether it was drug induced or a strange spiritual experience, it is similar to the Bible's warnings:. We have a choice in life of living like sharks, or being around them, and risk becoming like them.

Or following the way of the Bible, and Jesus, always calling us to become more like Him, "Day by day" like the song from the 70's goes.

Never risk drugs. All it takes is once. Once in the 70's I tried some pot brownies, and it put me into a mental health crisis. When you are struggling to sort out life at a young age, the LAST thing you need is a mind-altering drug. I remember having to play guitar after that in the rock Opera "Godspell" and never forgot the music since I was so spaced. Especially the haunting song, "where are you going, can you take me with you ".

Another one I never forgot was the drug song our rock band played, "Hotel California." Which is also about a cult. The band the Eagles, had good music for the day, but could be very pagan.

The 70's were a bit scary at times. We also played popular songs like "Free Bird" and quality music, but many of the kids were into drugs and alcohol.

Pot is not harmless, inspite of the "stoned" jokes. I never understood the attraction to it. When I have worked with people who were high, it didn't bother me, but they would consistently make errors that caused problems and effected efficiency, and caused lost income, and profits, even though they would swear they were doing better and were more relaxed, they usually were socially in la la Land and not aware of it. And that's kind of the definition of mental illness. So, from my experience, in my opinion, even Marijuana takes a person away from God, not towards. But I'm not a drug user. It just seems to feed complacency.

The Holy Spirit is the best drug in the world!


"
 

HeraldtheNews

Well-known member
Apr 26, 2012
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#20
Just wanted to add that Christian rock puts all the tired old music to shame. It's probably better to move towards peaceful music, but God can rock if He wants to, with a positive upbeat message to save people, and triumphs over all the devil's dead end music.