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I've been on CC for a while now and I have inspired and encouraged quite a few people with my 16 (almost 17) year old testimony. I enjoy sharing my story, although it's incomplete, and I thought, "Why not type it up in the forums? I'm at home sick with nothing better to do." So here I am. Typing it up in the forums 
When I was younger (way back when I was starting school) I got teased and picked on a lot often for the smallest things. My feelings were hurt often because I was so sensitive. I didn't have any friends except for 2 and they both turned out to be mean, too and they would talk behind my back and all that business. Just backstabbers. I was a lonely kid. I hated school. Then one day, when I was say... 11 years old, I met my savior at my grandmother's church. After all this teasing, it was so refreshing and beautiful to know that some one loves me and made me the way I am that I cried. School didn't seem so hard now because I found Christ. I found some one who was always going to be there and has my favor even if I mess up. Jesus didn't see me as a failure. I still never got to go to church.
Things were going great for me and since I couldn't get a bible or go to church, I drifted from God. Then all the teasing came back. Literally every day there was the same group of girls waiting for me to walk in so that they could say sometime mean. I knew that I wasn't anything that they said I was. I was just different and they didn't like it, but it still hurt to hear people greet me with a rude comment rather than at least one hello. I remembered about Jesus' love for me and it kept me going. It was hard, but he was there and I was going to make it. I asked my mom again if we could start going to church and I wanted to get baptised. She said no.
I got into High School. It was a relief for me. The other kids grew up a little and didn't mess with me any more. They still drove me crazy and I don't understand them, but I don't have a choice. But another problem came along. I was addicted to lust. I was a total flirt. I made soft porn, but I kept my virginity. I was so addicted that I even had phone sex or cyber sex. It was entertainment & it made me not feel so useless because I was making people happy. It was my thing. I never dated either. I was just a tease & proud of it. It didn't seem bad to me. I was finally happy, but thing things got worse. I started having bad digestive problems and started showing some symptoms of Chiari Malformation (which is a brain disease Chiari Malformation Information Page: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS)) I started going to the doctor during my sophomore year after my parents got divorced (& finally got to go to church). I visited heart doctors, stomach doctors, had MRIs done, and saw a neurologist. They had me take all kinds of medications, but nothing was working. We got results from the MRI on my brain and we learned that I have Chiari Malformation, but didn't talk about it.
In the middle of all this craziness, I randomly realized how awful of a person I was. A tease, I used people, an addict, a liar. Where is my soul? Where is my heart? I knew one place it wasn't- with God. My heart swelled with guilt and I prayed and prayed "GOD FORGIVE ME!" and didn't cease for about an hour. I felt like God left me, but I knew he never would. Then I remembered an advertisement for this site and joined. I came in and found comfort and new friends. I learned from this that in order for God to forgive me, I must forgive myself first even if it's so hard. I learned to be forgiving like God. Jesus saves (me from myself.)
For that issue I am blessed.
I got results from a blood test saying that I'm lactose intolerant and I have GERD. Then we got results from another test saying that my stomach doesn't empty correctly and that there was too much bile. I was in so much pain even after I did what the doctors said to do. I was feeling worse now. I quit marching band because I was in so much pain. I remember driving to practice, running late and feeling terrible. I got of the car & walked by the band hall and saw every one practicing, but I felt awful and I knew I couldn't make it out there. So I headed back and called my mom and told her that I was quitting. I couldn't miss this much practice. I would be holding every one back. Band was important to me. It made me happy. It was one of my favorite the things to do and I didn't want to give it up. I was crying when I was on the phone with her. I drove home & didn't get out of the car. Instead I sat and buried my face in my hands and cried. I yelled at God, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHERE IS THIS GOING? WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE FOR SO LONG? ANSWER ME OR LET ME DIE!" I was angry and thought about suicide. 2 years of pain and misery, and God wouldn't even tell me why I was suffering....
Until 2 months later in October 2010. Test results concluded that my gall bladder wasn't working. My gall bladder was the cause to most of my pain. I had it removed in November and I felt a lot better even though I still had all my other complications. At least I had an answer. I learned that God answers prayers in his own time.
For waiting I am blessed.
Now this challenge I must face- the disease. My symptoms have gotten worse. I hurt, I'm always nauseous, I feel dizzy some times, I get awful headaches, I have bad circulation, I get chills, I get hot flashes. I can't do things I enjoy because it makes me sick. Sometimes I'm sick without doing anything. There's no cure.
After about 3 months of thinking, my parents are finally letting me get surgery done to move my brain back up to where it should be in March during my spring break. I'm definitely looking forward to it. I'm not afraid because I know God will answer my prayers and this is probably it. If it works, I won't have to live this way any more. I'll get to enjoy my teenage years instead of stay at home sick every night. I'll be okay. But what I have learned from this- even though it isn't over yet is that I was made to overcome. I've made it through so much before. I've come this far, why quit now? I can do anything through God. He is the rock I stand on and with him, I will not be moved. I am unbreakable. Quoted from Joel Osteen, "Extraordinary people fight Extraordinary battles." My best days are ahead of me. I have these extraordinary storms because I have extraordinary dreams, ambitions, and and extraordinary destiny. And I WILL make it there. I WILL be everything God made me to be. I WILL be so much more than I am now, and I WILL make God proud.
For my disease I am blessed.
Thank you for reading, and I hope that you enjoyed my testimony
When I was younger (way back when I was starting school) I got teased and picked on a lot often for the smallest things. My feelings were hurt often because I was so sensitive. I didn't have any friends except for 2 and they both turned out to be mean, too and they would talk behind my back and all that business. Just backstabbers. I was a lonely kid. I hated school. Then one day, when I was say... 11 years old, I met my savior at my grandmother's church. After all this teasing, it was so refreshing and beautiful to know that some one loves me and made me the way I am that I cried. School didn't seem so hard now because I found Christ. I found some one who was always going to be there and has my favor even if I mess up. Jesus didn't see me as a failure. I still never got to go to church.
Things were going great for me and since I couldn't get a bible or go to church, I drifted from God. Then all the teasing came back. Literally every day there was the same group of girls waiting for me to walk in so that they could say sometime mean. I knew that I wasn't anything that they said I was. I was just different and they didn't like it, but it still hurt to hear people greet me with a rude comment rather than at least one hello. I remembered about Jesus' love for me and it kept me going. It was hard, but he was there and I was going to make it. I asked my mom again if we could start going to church and I wanted to get baptised. She said no.
I got into High School. It was a relief for me. The other kids grew up a little and didn't mess with me any more. They still drove me crazy and I don't understand them, but I don't have a choice. But another problem came along. I was addicted to lust. I was a total flirt. I made soft porn, but I kept my virginity. I was so addicted that I even had phone sex or cyber sex. It was entertainment & it made me not feel so useless because I was making people happy. It was my thing. I never dated either. I was just a tease & proud of it. It didn't seem bad to me. I was finally happy, but thing things got worse. I started having bad digestive problems and started showing some symptoms of Chiari Malformation (which is a brain disease Chiari Malformation Information Page: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS)) I started going to the doctor during my sophomore year after my parents got divorced (& finally got to go to church). I visited heart doctors, stomach doctors, had MRIs done, and saw a neurologist. They had me take all kinds of medications, but nothing was working. We got results from the MRI on my brain and we learned that I have Chiari Malformation, but didn't talk about it.
In the middle of all this craziness, I randomly realized how awful of a person I was. A tease, I used people, an addict, a liar. Where is my soul? Where is my heart? I knew one place it wasn't- with God. My heart swelled with guilt and I prayed and prayed "GOD FORGIVE ME!" and didn't cease for about an hour. I felt like God left me, but I knew he never would. Then I remembered an advertisement for this site and joined. I came in and found comfort and new friends. I learned from this that in order for God to forgive me, I must forgive myself first even if it's so hard. I learned to be forgiving like God. Jesus saves (me from myself.)
For that issue I am blessed.
I got results from a blood test saying that I'm lactose intolerant and I have GERD. Then we got results from another test saying that my stomach doesn't empty correctly and that there was too much bile. I was in so much pain even after I did what the doctors said to do. I was feeling worse now. I quit marching band because I was in so much pain. I remember driving to practice, running late and feeling terrible. I got of the car & walked by the band hall and saw every one practicing, but I felt awful and I knew I couldn't make it out there. So I headed back and called my mom and told her that I was quitting. I couldn't miss this much practice. I would be holding every one back. Band was important to me. It made me happy. It was one of my favorite the things to do and I didn't want to give it up. I was crying when I was on the phone with her. I drove home & didn't get out of the car. Instead I sat and buried my face in my hands and cried. I yelled at God, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHERE IS THIS GOING? WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE FOR SO LONG? ANSWER ME OR LET ME DIE!" I was angry and thought about suicide. 2 years of pain and misery, and God wouldn't even tell me why I was suffering....
Until 2 months later in October 2010. Test results concluded that my gall bladder wasn't working. My gall bladder was the cause to most of my pain. I had it removed in November and I felt a lot better even though I still had all my other complications. At least I had an answer. I learned that God answers prayers in his own time.
For waiting I am blessed.
Now this challenge I must face- the disease. My symptoms have gotten worse. I hurt, I'm always nauseous, I feel dizzy some times, I get awful headaches, I have bad circulation, I get chills, I get hot flashes. I can't do things I enjoy because it makes me sick. Sometimes I'm sick without doing anything. There's no cure.
After about 3 months of thinking, my parents are finally letting me get surgery done to move my brain back up to where it should be in March during my spring break. I'm definitely looking forward to it. I'm not afraid because I know God will answer my prayers and this is probably it. If it works, I won't have to live this way any more. I'll get to enjoy my teenage years instead of stay at home sick every night. I'll be okay. But what I have learned from this- even though it isn't over yet is that I was made to overcome. I've made it through so much before. I've come this far, why quit now? I can do anything through God. He is the rock I stand on and with him, I will not be moved. I am unbreakable. Quoted from Joel Osteen, "Extraordinary people fight Extraordinary battles." My best days are ahead of me. I have these extraordinary storms because I have extraordinary dreams, ambitions, and and extraordinary destiny. And I WILL make it there. I WILL be everything God made me to be. I WILL be so much more than I am now, and I WILL make God proud.
For my disease I am blessed.
Thank you for reading, and I hope that you enjoyed my testimony