1 Samuel 18:27 - How Many Foreskins Are You Worth - And From Where Should They Be Sourced?

[dkontner]

If we could only find such a kit that included foreskins rather then rubber bands...

With 600 skins, the good gentleman would need only 400 more -- to meet the "bare" minimum.

Good luck

 

[Lanolin]

Yes I deeply regret ever mentioning Michal's bride price...

 

[seoulsearch]

Yes I deeply regret ever mentioning Michal's bride price...

Don't worry.

We've had talks about bride prices and what they should be (thereby, referencing "the old fashioned payment") several times in other threads -- it definitely wasn't just because of your post.

 

[Lanolin]

Don't worry.

We've had talks about bride prices and what they should be (thereby, referencing "the old fashioned payment") several times in other threads -- it definitely wasn't just because of your post.

Have you ever discussed glory boxes or trousseaus?
I've always wondered what was in those.

 

[Lanolin]

Or hope chests.

 

[seoulsearch]

Or hope chests.

I was always a bit fascinated by the idea of hope chests.

I used to do a lot of cross stitch, and once read that young girls often made samplers of needlework stitches that were kept in the hope chests...

So as a kid, I used to pretend that I was making some sort of family heirloom while stitching.

 

[Lanolin]

My mum had a rosewood trunk that was carved with dragons and phoenixes. Every Chinese bride had one. She put linens and furs and maybe her wedding gown in it (still haven't opened it)

I didn't of course, mum got me an education instead. I have a miniature one I was given by my neighbour..actually two, and I keep birthday cards and things in it, I suppose you can put love letters and keepsakes as well. I never had a jewellery box. I think mum kept her jewellery in an old baby formula tin so no thieves would look there and steal it (!)

I guess I never put much thought into all the things you might need to marry, people think $$ of course, but to set up a home together you need at least SOME things. Who wants to live together in an empty hut?

 

[Lanolin]

It's sort of like this


or this


And it smells like camphor (to keep the moths away) sort of like a trunk that you take travelling with you that's got all your worldly possessions in. Nowadays people just pack things in suitcases I suppose.

 

[Edith]

I can agree with everything except the demon chasing bit. I'm a one God preacher, and James 2:19 is one of my favorite verses. If Satan wants to lie under my bed and shake all night, that's his business.

(Shamelessly copied from an evangelist who was once asked if he kicked all the demons out of his hotel room before he went to sleep.)

That's funny because I copied mine too

 

[Charlesiii]

My honorary nieces and nephew were really into these, and I had a small pile that they made for me at the time.

Now, if given such tributes that were actually made of foreskins...

They would be much easier to count if dyed in different colors and wove into a pattern that made each loop (skin) stand out from the next.

Lol. I agree. Not everyone has such a "sharp" eye as Seoulsearch, and ensuring each skin is a different colour would help those of us less financially astute to ensure that no good lady was getting short changed. At the very least, it would be a great conversation starter at the next dinner party. "Oh, this old thing? Hand-woven by a guy I rejected... Kind of a skin-flint, to be honest..."

Alas, this would give any suitors a few additional challenges -- dyeing the foreskins into a rainbow of colors, then weaving them into rings of various sizes for me to wear or display...

Certainly! It's one thing to know a potential suitor can protect his beloved and smite enemies, but he must be able to work with his hands, also. Can he sew? Knit? Wash dishes? Peel potatoes? (Okay, given the nature of the bride price, the last is probably a given).

But I guess this will further weed out any potential suitors who might be insincere, or downright criminal in trying to cheat a good woman out of an honest number of skins!! Harumph!!!

And here I thought phishing scams were the worst that could happen!!!

It's so sad. I know the cost of living is increasing, but in case you haven't heard the old saying "Gold is the money of kings (and queens), silver the money of gentlemen (and gentle ladies), barter is the money of peasants, and foreskins are the money of slaves and eligible brides". And so here we have the most economically disadvantaged and financially-illiterate sector of society, who probably can't tell the difference between a 1-skin and a 3-skin, being preyed upon by conmen for what amounts to little more than tips. Truly disgusting, in more ways than one.

I'm hoping those behind the digitisation efforts and the launch of the 4SKN e-token will have the "fore"sight to include sufficient safeguards to prevent good women being short-changed - at least for the "fore"seeable future.

There will be NO acceptance of merely 1-skins in MY court -- when we all know that ONLY 4-skins shall do!!

I might be able to picture ONE exception, in which the a"fore"mentioned population from whence said skins are being collected is in danger of going extinct, but surely any REAL suitor will let nothing get in the way of searching for the PROPER number of skins!

And I'm sure my fellow "high skin count" females will fervently agree.

It is so refreshing to hear from ladies - who knows their finances and can clearly differentiate between 1-skins and a 4-skins - that they will not be short-changed. I would caution every good woman in this market, though, not to fall for excuses about skins in any "fore"doomed population being in danger of going extinct. If this really were a problem, any REAL suitor will know that there are ethical and environmentally friendly ways of sourcing the requisite and PROPER number of skins without damaging the local ecosystem beyond repair. Achieving this balance truly is no skin of anybody's nose.

 

[seoulsearch]

Lol!

This thread came to mind as I did my grocery shopping this past weekend -- and a certain store's rewards program showed their appreciation with a $5 off reward.

I mean...

Yeah, that's nice, and I certainly appreciate the gesture...

But really.

What's 5 measly dollars when I could be reaping the prestige of raking in 1000's foreskins by the thousands instead?!!

@Charlesiii has set the bar way beyond any other rewards program I could ever be a part of!

@CarriePie, are you finding yourself being a little let down by other loyalty programs as well?

 

[CarriePie]

Lol!

This thread came to mind as I did my grocery shopping this past weekend -- and a certain store's rewards program showed their appreciation with a $5 off reward.

I mean...

Yeah, that's nice, and I certainly appreciate the gesture...

But really.

What's 5 measly dollars when I could be reaping the prestige of raking in 1000's foreskins by the thousands instead?!!

@Charlesiii has set the bar way beyond any other rewards program I could ever be a part of!

@CarriePie, are you finding yourself being a little let down by other loyalty programs as well?

It's funny you mention this, because I just finished placing a grocery order and I only got a reward of one measly dollar lolol. So, yes, I'm feeling let down as well

 

[seoulsearch]

It's funny you mention this, because I just finished placing a grocery order and I only got a reward of one measly dollar lolol. So, yes, I'm feeling let down as well

This made me burst out laughing, lol!!!

@Charlesiii has really spoiled our expectations!!!

And now we're just going to have to stand in the corner and sulk.

Bah humbug.

 

[Lanolin]

Looks like you two are @Charlesiii biggest fans lol

I wonder what thread he'll start next...

 

[seoulsearch]

Looks like you two are @Charlesiii biggest fans lol

I wonder what thread he'll start next...

I never knew my true worth until @Charlesiii wrote this thread!!!

And I'm definitely hoping he will write more.

 

[Lanolin]

I didn't win anything on this thread