10% functional

[Jordache]

I am a part of a very intense 6 month long class focused on relational healing. Last night's theme was confession. I want to be healed so I throw myself into things head first. Well last night, in front of the people I fear most--mothers, I confessed much against my own will (but on the heart of God) a one time sin committed 14 years ago which I'd convinced myself I was taking to my grave. I was distraught. It's basically against group rules but everyone hugged me as they left and I was still sobbing faced towards the floor.
I feel like the scum of the earth, like I just admitted to
being my own worst nightmare. The worst part is that I don't even know if what I did qualifies for
what I fear it does.
To make a long request short, I feel like time just stopped and I'm about 10% functional. I'm usually out the door by7:30 and I could barely push myself to wash shampoo out of my hair by then. I have nothing in me, no life. I feel like a walking corpse. I don't want to look people in the eye.
Now I think God is playing a trick on me---I don't really mean that seriously but sometimes Gods help feels like a cruel joke. I lead worship at my church. At one time I told my worship pastor/close friend/father figure/mentor that I'd he ever wanted to reach me something make me sing about it. Well my friend texts me out of the blue this morning. She never texts me. I text her. And she asked me if I could sing a song at her youth bible study. Good grief! I have no strength and God is still calling me to sing truth that I don't completely believe.

 

[shekaniah]

If it was 14yrs ago...you were 12yrs old? You were just a child. God forgave David for murder and adultry and he was King...I don't think what you did could be unforgivable. Jordache...if it is bothering you that much...just tell your friend with an honest heart...that you had something happen and you don't feel like singing. That you need time for prayer.

Jesus give Jordache peace, cover her with your grace, fill her with wisdom. Lord you know her heart...move one of the elders that she confessed to to reach out to her in love. In Jesus name Amen

Romans 5:20
God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful grace became more abundant.

Romans
6:6-7
knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.

Once you accept Christ as your Lord and savor...you no longer are a slave to sin and the condemnation of it.

Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

 

[pickles]

God knows what He is doing, trust in all that he sets before you, and know His love is greater than anything you can do.
Praying for you in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh.

God bless
pickles

 

[Canadian36]

Stop beating yourself up about nothing. It's all under the blood. God doesn't want you to waste your life on the regrets of the past. Move on and just learn from the mistake and do better next time. Stop living your life looking at the past, just live in the now. Don't think so much. And enjoy life and live for God. Dear lord please help this person to forgive and forget amen.