S
Shadowwolg
Guest
by 2013, i was starting to see hope,... it amazes me now, to think , how did i get through the last several years, i just remember the darkness and sadness, ... i never lost my job thorugh that, never lost my leadership position at church through it all, which sometimes i think i should have... but i had been honest with the pastor from the beginnning ...so for some reason he didn't think it was neccissary for me to lose it... i was trying to overcome...by this time, I was thinking i was going to overcome... then several things hit, pastor went to a different church, .... a lot of changes went on, but i was ok.... i was able to start seeing positive things... by this time, i had wanted to dis associated myself from my abuse, so i had a shredding party... i shredded most of my notes, journal entries and what not,... funny thing is,... i can never dis associate myself from that.. it will always be a part of who i am... i don't really remember much of what when on during this year, i still struggle with engaging and such, still went to counseling, and group, but as time went on, and talking about relationships, desires and what causes them, and speaking out to others about things, i got stronger...