My darling, I keep you in my heart and prayers that God opens your eyes and heart to see Him grand plan and His immense love for you. Remember, being a child of God and loving God doesn't mean life will be easy, it means you have a friend and Savior with you always, even when you don't "feel" Him. He's there! I pray He makes His presence known and He gives you the strength you need to get through what you need to
This too shall pass,
In Jesus' name,
Amen