M
Moving4ward
Guest
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little" (Luke7:47)
This is my grandma. This time of year brings her to mind because her birthday usually falls around labor day....or it did. You see she took her own life a little over 11 years ago. Without warning, no clues, no farewell words and no letter left behind. The shock akin to having a bandaid ripped off in one fast jolt over a wound we didn't know was there.
But more importantly than how she died is how she lived.
She was a funny, sassy firecracker of a lady. A hardworking no-nonsense woman who didn't take guff from anyone. I can hardly remember a time she wasn't smiling or laughing about something.
She knew the joys of living simply and minimally. She came from a poor, rough and tumble background. She undoubtedly made her fair share of mistakes. But she never let it get to her, she brushed it off. She walked around like she was forgiven.
I didn't appreciate it at first. I dwelled on her death. I wanted answers why? Or I would get myself into the crazy cycle of if only____. And sometimes wondered how I missed any signs. But this thinking was a dead-end trap that left me more confused and empty than before.
I have peace about it now. I know the whys won't change the end result . I think my take-away here is to realize that I am forgiven (no matter what or how I feel about it). I am so grateful for the gift of my grandma. Even if our time was cut a little short.