This one should be pretty tough for anyone under about 60 because you definitely have never seen it:
"Now, this here tale didn't happen just yesterday, nor the day before. 'Twas a long time ago. And in them days, everything was mighty satisfactual. The critters, they was closer to the folks, and the folks, they was closer to the critters, and if you'll excuse me for saying so, 'twas better all around."