P
ptlman
Guest
My brother and I were sexually and physically abused from preteens until I was 19 and he was 22. This abuse was so bad that this guy had tried to kill both of us on numerous occasions. He was so controlling and possessive. We got to the point where we could not take anymore of it and thought the only way out of this horrible situation was to take his life. This was a bad decision, but it was driven by the rage and anger that had been building up in both of us for all of those years. All we wanted was to be free and not to have this activity happening anymore.
After the murder, for four months, my life was filled with sex, drugs, and drinking. I had to be messed up to make it through the day. The sight of what happened would come up at the most inopportune time. I was plagued by nightmares. Then the body was found. I was at work when the cops came to talk to me. It was 9 pm on a Friday night. They questioned me for about 4 1/2 hours. I told them half of the truth and thought that it was going to be OK. They took me to the County Jail and booked me in on a murder charge. I was 20 years old and was facing a murder charge. That weekend was the longest and took the most out of me. I cried myself to sleep each night and I was so scared and afraid. That was the loneliest I have ever been in my life.
Monday morning, the Detective took me back over to the Police Station for some questioning. I was put in an interrogation room for 8 1/2 hours with 2 packs of cigarettes. During that time I was able to do a lot of thinking. I called for the Det. and went ahead and confessed to the crime and told them what really happened. A huge weight was taken off of my chest. I began to think that it might be OK.
The Detective lead me down to the car to head back to the County Jail. When we were in the car, he asked me if I believed in God. I thought, I am not studying God right now, I am concerned with how much time I was looking at and what was in front of me. He kept asking me if I believed in God. I told him that I did believe in God. He told me that I needed to seek Him. I just thought about what he was saying for a little bit.
When I got back to the County Jail I asked one of the jailers for a Bible. They brought me a little New Testament Bible. Most people would begin reading in John or Romans; not me, I went to Revelations. When I made it to Rev. 3:20 it hit me. God was now knocking on the door of my heart. I went ahead and cried out to Him. I realized my state and that I needed Him to come in and to cleanse me. I asked Him to forgive my sins and to save me. At that instant a peace came over me that was unreal! I began to smile and was overcome with joy. I began to walk around in my cell and worshipped God. I knew that everything was going to be OK.
After 13 1/2 years, I was released and I am still serving the Lord. I have been out now 2 1/2 months and God has been blessing me in so many ways. God will meet you where you are and save you. Never think that you are too far for Him to reach you.
After the murder, for four months, my life was filled with sex, drugs, and drinking. I had to be messed up to make it through the day. The sight of what happened would come up at the most inopportune time. I was plagued by nightmares. Then the body was found. I was at work when the cops came to talk to me. It was 9 pm on a Friday night. They questioned me for about 4 1/2 hours. I told them half of the truth and thought that it was going to be OK. They took me to the County Jail and booked me in on a murder charge. I was 20 years old and was facing a murder charge. That weekend was the longest and took the most out of me. I cried myself to sleep each night and I was so scared and afraid. That was the loneliest I have ever been in my life.
Monday morning, the Detective took me back over to the Police Station for some questioning. I was put in an interrogation room for 8 1/2 hours with 2 packs of cigarettes. During that time I was able to do a lot of thinking. I called for the Det. and went ahead and confessed to the crime and told them what really happened. A huge weight was taken off of my chest. I began to think that it might be OK.
The Detective lead me down to the car to head back to the County Jail. When we were in the car, he asked me if I believed in God. I thought, I am not studying God right now, I am concerned with how much time I was looking at and what was in front of me. He kept asking me if I believed in God. I told him that I did believe in God. He told me that I needed to seek Him. I just thought about what he was saying for a little bit.
When I got back to the County Jail I asked one of the jailers for a Bible. They brought me a little New Testament Bible. Most people would begin reading in John or Romans; not me, I went to Revelations. When I made it to Rev. 3:20 it hit me. God was now knocking on the door of my heart. I went ahead and cried out to Him. I realized my state and that I needed Him to come in and to cleanse me. I asked Him to forgive my sins and to save me. At that instant a peace came over me that was unreal! I began to smile and was overcome with joy. I began to walk around in my cell and worshipped God. I knew that everything was going to be OK.
After 13 1/2 years, I was released and I am still serving the Lord. I have been out now 2 1/2 months and God has been blessing me in so many ways. God will meet you where you are and save you. Never think that you are too far for Him to reach you.
. This is just another example of no matter what you have done god still loves you and will forgive you of your sins if you believe in him and Jesus and repent.
Blessings to you.
