Acronyms.....no cheating

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Mitspa said:
sorry Bama I have to post these...sorry Sirk did not mean to derail your thread :)

These are the top ten Alabama Crimson Tide jokes of all time:

10. How do you make Alabama cookies? Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

9. It's reported that Nick Saban will only dress 20 players for the Tennessee game. The rest will have to dress themselves.

8. What does the average Alabama student get on his SAT score? Drool.

7. What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?

6. An Alabama fan walks into the doctor's office one day with a hat on. He takes off his hat, and the doctor sees that there is a big frog sitting right on top of his head. The doctor looks at the man and asks him why he has a frog sitting on his head. It was the frog who replied "Actually doc, I was the one who wanted to see you. Can you remove this wart off my butt?"

5. Why should the University of Alabama change it's team name to the opossums? Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

4. Where was O.J. really hiding at right before the famous Bronco chase? On the campus at Alabama. He figured they would never find a real football player there.

3. What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Alabama campus? a Visitor.

2. What should you do if you find three Alabama fans buried up to their necks in cement? Get more cement.

And......The number one Alabama joke of all time is:

1. What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common? They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years.
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acronyms schmacronyms....let's tell jokes.
 
Dumb Tennessee Laws

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Hollow logs may not be sold.

Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.

More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

"Crimes against nature" are prohibited.

Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.

Driving is not to be done while asleep.

It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

Dyersburg

It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

Fayette County
You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.

Lenoir City
When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming.

Lexington
No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk.
Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.

Knoxville
In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post."

Memphis
Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.

Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. (Passed in 1996)

It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.

Oneida An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'."


 
p_rehbein said:
Funny, but I've seen pretty much the same jokes with Tennessee being the subject matter......exception being the #1 because Tennessee has nothing to live off of......... :)
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We have a few titles 8..i think? and we have the general...who was the bear before the bear... :)
 
p_rehbein posted

Fayette County
You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.

OK! This one is good. It would have stopped my husband from buying all those dead Mazda 626's and trying to put them together into one vehicle that worked. Experiment finally terminated without success!
 
Oh! I went to Seminary with someone from Tennessee. He was smart, believed that a parliamentary democracy was better than a republican democracy, and went on to control a raging, out of control SBaptist church, which no one had been able to do!
 
Mitspa said:
Just a little friendly funning around :) Im from Tennessee ..Its hard to make fun of us I know but you can try if you want :p
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Oh...that is just because yall dont get any of the jokes folks are telling...and thats why yall are saying stuff like "It's hard to make fun of us"...LOL...ROFL...;)...everybody else is laughing....:D
 
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